How do I feel better? What do I do?

[Klyntelf1]

I don't know what to do with the feelings I have. I have had a tumultuous and horrible year.

About a year ago I met a man. I had a boyfriend at the time. I had been drinking heavily and I have this man my number.

He called insistently asking me to go out to dinner and I did.

We started a sexual relationship that went on for months and months until I finally decided to break up with my boyfriend for him.

My boyfriend lived in NY and I lived in FL so we were very far away from each other. I date this guy for about 3 months seriously but he would do really possessive and weird things. He would record the sounds of us having sex and I would catch him after the fact. I broke things off with him but we still kept seeing each other. Then he got back with his ex wife. He still texts and calls and I tell him not to. He has cheated on her with me a couple times just sleeping with me and then he says not nice things to me -

Just to be a jerk I think. So today e said he was coming over to pick up his stuff.

He came over and I decided to tape us having sex to give him a taste of his own medicine. We slept together and then he hung out for a while and refused to kiss me after saying that that's going too far. He left the house and after I texted him to tell him I taped the whole thing - he got scared saying if

I tell his gf it will really hurt her and he doesn't want that. I just feel like such a piece of **** and I don't want to talk to

Him again. But I know he will probably

Text or call me still. How can I start

To feel better? What should

I say to him ?? Please be nice to me-

I already feel like a pos enough.

[lynn1954]

Klyntelf1:

 

Right now, tell yourself that you're not a p.o.s. and that you're going to start over again by doing the right thing.

 

The right thing is: do not communicate with this man any more. Do not call him, text him nor see him. Do not answer his calls, texts, etc.

 

Don't even think about the mistakes you already made. Just start today to take good care of yourself, be proud of yourself, and try to go meet people who also take good care of themselves and take pride in themselves.

[awkward]

First, tell him you destroyed the tape. If he is desperate to keep it a secret, he could hurt you or show up and rifle through your things to get it back.

 

Next, I wish I could tell you the exact regime to quit hurting, but I don't know that there is one. What I do know is, the longer you stay in this place, the longer you will feel this pain. Just grieve the relationship. Let him go. Stay NC and block him. Eventually, it will hurt less and then not at all. If you stay stuck, that eventually will be a really long time. Keep posting here. Talk to a real life friend.

[ComingInHot]

I would start by saying, "No" then I would end by saying "No".*

[Praying4Peace]

Don't tell or send his GF anything. You are above that. End this with dignity- tell him never to contact you again...don't let him treat you like this. You know in your head that he is NOT WORTH YOUR TIME. Your heart will get there too. And thank god that you aren't his poor girlfriend.

[Klyntelf1]

I am 31.

I didn't let him tape us and it was just audio. I actually found it later on his phone and when I found it he told me he was gonna show me and thought is like it.

Also - I wouldn't tell his gf. I didn't record it for that reason. I just wanted to make him feel like he made me feel. I also thought that maybe I could tell him that if he ever calls or texts me again I will tell her. But I really would never.

 

I don't know why I allow this it why I want to be desired by someone that treats me like this. I never have been this way before. I am actually a pretty decent looking girl- so it doesn't make sense. I guess I've just never been treated like this so it's a shock and makes me feel needy. I am going to block him though from everything in my life and get myself and my sanity/self esteem back.

[lynn1954]

I am 31.

 

I don't know why I allow this it why I want to be desired by someone that treats me like this. I never have been this way before. I am actually a pretty decent looking girl- so it doesn't make sense. I guess I've just never been treated like this so it's a shock and makes me feel needy. I am going to block him though from everything in my life and get myself and my sanity/self esteem back.

 

Yes, many of us get ourselves into bad situations that don't seem to match how we think of ourselves.

 

We make mistakes. We can keep going after a mistake.

 

I'm glad you said you intend to get him out of your life, that's the right thing for you. Your sanity and self esteem will come back sooner than you expect. Just be strong through this first part.