marriage problems

[nina]

Please help me because I don't know what to do. I have been married for 9 years, but with him for a total of 16, we have three kids. We have been having troubles in the marriage because a lot of stressful events happened to us in the space of 18 months; moving to another country, death in the family, etc.

 

My husband got a new job in another city, and has been away from us for only four weeks. After the first week, he told me he didn't love me, and that a girl from work was interested in him. The next week he told me they are having an affair.

 

The thing is, we are supposed to join him in the other city very soon and even after he told me all of this, we got together yesterday, looking for schools and a new house. While we did, he got a phone call from "someone" who was screaming at him, because I heard it all. What do I do? My choices are to go back to Australia, or to go to him, not knowing the future. I don't want to lose him, but I don't know how to cope with this. Our three kids are a huge concern for me. They are 7, 4 and 3 and adore their dad.

[kimmi]

Please help me because I don't know what to do. I have been married for 9 years, but with him for a total of 16, we have three kids. We have been having troubles in the marriage because a lot of stressful events happened to us in the space of 18 months; moving to another country, death in the family, etc. My husband got a new job in another city, and has been away from us for only four weeks. After the first week, he told me he didn't love me, and that a girl from work was interested in him. The next week he told me they are having an affair. The thing is, we are supposed to join him in the other city very soon and even after he told me all of this, we got together yesterday, looking for schools and a new house. While we did, he got a phone call from "someone" who was screaming at him, because I heard it all. What do I do? My choices are to go back to Australia, or to go to him, not knowing the future. I don't want to lose him, but I don't know how to cope with this. Our three kids are a huge concern for me. They are 7, 4 and 3 and adore their dad.

did you ask him why he did not love you anymore? if you did do you really believe what his answer is?

 

i think that a third party is really needed in this matter. after being together for so long and going through so much together sometimes one feels different towards the other.

 

i think that because the two of you went out and looked at things to bring you back together as a family in the same house is a real good inducation that he still wants to be with you and your children.

 

one thing though, you never mentioned if the affair was still going on?

 

why did it start in the first place?

 

and does he still feel the same way?

 

best of luck

 

kimmi