** Dating Post BU

[Compromize]

I was curious to hear from people that are out dating; how soon after a BU of from an LTR did you get back out there? Did you realize you were not yet ready and go back to not dating after trying it out? When did you realize that you were ready to date and what made you realize that? Has anyone went on a date with a "still broken" individual and if so how did it go/end/continue?

 

I went on a couple dates after being BU for a 2 months (well BU in December but got back together for a short time in end of Jan, beginning of Feb) and I realized I am not ready, comparing everyone to the EX. Not good and wish I wouldn't but I am clearly not ready. Would you rather have someone tell you that or just disappear?

[Treasa]

Like you indicated, I think you know when you're ready.

 

I let myself grieve as long as it takes (which apparently isn't very long because I am weird), and usually a new relationship sneaks up on me. I'm never really looking for one. I just find them happening to me, and I go with it as long as I'm having fun.

[Divasu]

I was curious to hear from people that are out dating; how soon after a BU of from an LTR did you get back out there?

Anywhere between one year and 3 years.

 

Did you realize you were not yet ready and go back to not dating after trying it out?

Yes, but it was after a short-term relationship ended, not my ex's.

 

When did you realize that you were ready to date and what made you realize that?

When I felt myself physically attracted to the other person and he made me feel tingly inside.

Has anyone went on a date with a "still broken" individual and if so how did it go/end/continue?

I'm sure I have at some point.

 

I went on a couple dates after being BU for a 2 months (well BU in December but got back together for a short time in end of Jan, beginning of Feb) and I realized I am not ready, comparing everyone to the EX. Not good and wish I wouldn't but I am clearly not ready. Would you rather have someone tell you that or just disappear?

I think if you're not ready emotionally to be dating, then you probably should wait a bit. And yes, you should tell the other person you're not ready, or simply, not interested versus vanishing into thin air never to be heard from again.

[Compromize]

Like you indicated, I think you know when you're ready.

 

I let myself grieve as long as it takes (which apparently isn't very long because I am weird), and usually a new relationship sneaks up on me. I'm never really looking for one. I just find them happening to me, and I go with it as long as I'm having fun.

 

I thought I was ready but apparently not. The dates just made me miss my ex and want to run away. She was the first woman I have ever REALLY loved. Ugh.

 

I think if you're not ready emotionally to be dating, then you probably should wait a bit. And yes, you should tell the other person you're not ready, or simply, not interested versus vanishing into thin air never to be heard from again.

 

I am waiting. I was a fool to think I was over her anyway. I guess I wanted to be wanted again, to feel that after being rejected. But it appears that I still want to be wanted by the person that doesn't want me anymore:(

 

I did tell this young lady that I was simply not ready emotionally and she said that after so many first dates that she has had, she felt a connection with me and is willing to wait for me to process my feelings. I told her not to wait, that I don't know how long until I will be truly ready but she said she is not giving up and wants to see me in a couple weeks. I don't know what else to say to her other than please just leave me be or simply go dark and never respond to any contact from her. What a freaking mess.

[creighton0123]

After the end of a 2 year relationship 2 months ago, I started casually dating three weeks after the break up.

 

At the two month mark, I now feel I am ready to pursue another relationship. My situation might not be the norm, though. The first year and two months of my last relationship was long distance and open. We then dated for a year monogamously and lived together for the last eight months. So we were really together (in person) for less than a year.

 

And I am pretty good at dealing with, processing, and expressing negative emotions.

[todreaminblue]

I was curious to hear from people that are out dating; how soon after a BU of from an LTR did you get back out there? Did you realize you were not yet ready and go back to not dating after trying it out? When did you realize that you were ready to date and what made you realize that? Has anyone went on a date with a "still broken" individual and if so how did it go/end/continue?

 

I went on a couple dates after being BU for a 2 months (well BU in December but got back together for a short time in end of Jan, beginning of Feb) and I realized I am not ready, comparing everyone to the EX. Not good and wish I wouldn't but I am clearly not ready. Would you rather have someone tell you that or just disappear?[ /QUOTE]

 

i tried the same year i broke up.....huge failure.......and i hurt a good guy.......went out with two dicks(seperately)....i was damaged well and truly now its over six years or seven on.......i am probably ready...not today......i know my feelings for my ex are no longer a concern....i could give my all to someone else...i have a healthy fear of dating......so i care about the outcome.i only date one at a time...so soon..deb

[PogoStick]

I don't take time off after a breakup but my intentions early on may be different. At first I may just be looking to get myself out of the house and socializing without the goal of finding another relationship.

 

My first date after the last BU was with a disaster of a woman and that made me miss the ex even more. Then I met a girl for friendly dating where we didn't escalate for nearly 2 months but I really appreciated her company. I'm now 4 months post BU and really excited about the newest girl I've met. I'm cautiously optimistic. If it works out I will happily feel pity for the ex who's missing out on a great thing.