girls_do_cheat Posted September 16, 2004 Share Posted September 16, 2004 Hi all, weird things happen, i posted here on this website a few months ago abt how my gf of 2 yrs went away for her internship found a new guy and ditched me...well to cut things sort she brokeup with this guy also after going out and kissing him twice, then she called me and said how we could get back together and how there were things she liked abt me and would like to work it out. I delayed my graduation and extended my stay at school by a semester( worst mistake of my life i jeopardised my career for a girl) well she comes back starts the whole thing again starts living in with me and sleeping with me and stuff, then last weekend she tells me she si going out with some friends from her company for camping, but i found out that she went with one specific guy and camped with him the whole night anyways i ask her and she says she is sorry and guilty and will never repeat it and nothing happened between them, next morning i check her sms and find out sick msgs i am broken and feel miserable i confront her she is like good u found out and she is depressed the whole day and in the evening she comes picks up her stuff and leaves.................i dont know what to do...i am stuck in school for this sem and totally devastated...life seems to be real mess...i loved her so much that i sacrificed my career and stayed back and i am so weak at heart that i am still sitting in my house looking at things remembering her and crying while she probably is busy messaging this guy..............help i know it is an end.......why do i still have hopes...how should i forget her.........why don't girls realized that they are hurting someone who can't take it.............help............... Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted September 16, 2004 Share Posted September 16, 2004 Lose the hoochie. She is a cheat. Chalk it up as a loss with a valuable lesson learned. Find a woman that'd love to be with you! Link to post Share on other sites
prevch Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 I agree man. There are a lot of girls especially at this age that are "users and abusers" you are probably better off with out her. Sorry man. Link to post Share on other sites
Velveteel Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 I'm sorry you're going through this. It's probably not much comfort, but it sounds like she cheated because she couldn't quite let go of you. She tried, and it didn't work. And then she got re-involved with you when she really shouldn't have. If she can't commit to you, she should have stepped away before she misbehaved in this cruel way. So, remember that you're lovable. Take good care of yourself now, and try to shut the door firmly between you and your girlfriend. This will help you heal, and be in a better place to meet someone who's ready for you. Link to post Share on other sites
me_girls_do_cheat Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 sorry my id is not working waiting for the activation code..................i am trying to cope with things.....but last weekend she called me again and she wanted to hang out with me(basically she loved the food i cooked) so she comes over and i tell her i don't want her back as a friend but she says she is hungry and stuff and i cook and leave my house....she eats and leaves......she is wanting to be friends and i cant be that. why is it that even after she has done such bad things i cant forget her why dont i hate her..why is it that everything still reminds me of her why do i still pine for her why??i dont know what to do....the worst pain is she compares me with others and tells me stuff...........i am going through ****....studies are taking a major toll and inspite of me trying my level best i cant get my life back..............help please... Link to post Share on other sites
beautiful Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 Yes girls do cheat and they lie, wow what a concept! I am sorry that you were cheated on however be glad you know now instead of being married to her. Simply let go. Why would you want a girl that cheats? Speaking as a woman I must tell you that women cheat for different reasons than guys do. Not that this is an excuse because I have zero tolerance for cheating. Something in your relationship was wrong and now it is over. Now you put yourself together and simply move on. You learned from this relationship and the experience. Use this information to work on yourself and better yourself so that you can move on to a healthy relationship. Do not take your ex back! If you do I am her to tell you that you are giving her the message that it is ok to cheat on you because you will take her back! She will loose all respect for you I do not care what she tells you! You alive and healthy, that is a Blessing. Enjoy being single and live a happy life:-) Link to post Share on other sites
me_girls_do_cheat Posted September 22, 2004 Share Posted September 22, 2004 Hi Beautiful, sorry if my nick offended you....i just thought that girls were supposed to be more mellow and have more feelings...the behavior of my ex just broke me i still can't believe what she did............anyways i am trying to cope with things.......but with no luck..........she had come back and was back to normal things why did she need to do that if she was planning on going out with some other guy...she was with my friday night then she camps and sleeps with this guy on saturday and sunday she is back sleeping with me.....it just broke me..................anyways i will be eventually out of this...thanks for the support. Link to post Share on other sites
Urban Rubble01 Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 Sorry to hear it, nobody deserves to feel like that. I never was cheated on, but I'm in the process of losing a girl I love more than life itself. I know what you mean by sitting around staring at things that remind you of her and crying, but that's torture, you can't do that. I did it for the first 3 days, it's only day 6 btw. I sat and stared at her pictures, things she wrote me. Everything I did (still do actually) reminds me of her. It sucks, but give it time. I'm not going to say I still don't feel devestated, but it does get at least a little better as a few days pass. I know this won't help, but try to be thankful that you, at least, know exactly what's going on, I'm still up in the air not knowing if it will work out in time. She isn't worth it man, she didn't care enough to be honest with you before she cheated. Harsh but true. Link to post Share on other sites
Weird Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 damn. that was a pretty nasty thing for her to do to you. You wonder why girls don't know they are hurting a guy...they do but they jsut dont care. Women as a whole are way more selfish than guys. Link to post Share on other sites
Author girls_do_cheat Posted September 23, 2004 Author Share Posted September 23, 2004 Hello Everybody, It's said that things have a reason for happening. The thing which hurts the most is that the other person is not even aware of how much pain he/she is giving you. If only god created some means of making the other person aware of what grief he is causing the grief might be reduced. But this female is totally confused, she is getting carried away with the peer pressure she belongs to a sorority and i believe that she is trying to imitate wrong behaviors. Anyways life is never fair but things are evened out in this life itself. I know i loved her like a mad man. I made a mistake by accepting her back when she has cheated on me 2 times, but god knows that i loved her with all my heart and that i would have gone to any extent to make her happy. I was about to graduate and delayed my graduation, i had job offer(i am a comp sci.) and leaving those offers still hurts and it hurts more because i left it for all the wrong reasons. Too all those people out there in similar situations just take this lesson from me, never put your life on hold for someone. If things are bound to happen they will happen. I am getting myself together will graduate in about a month and maybe if God helps i might find a job. But there will be a time when this girl will be missing me and she will in this life itself and i know that at that time she will come back to me but may god give me the strength that i dont fall into her trap again because i am stupid and i might seeing her face.....................but this is life its been nearly 10 days now since she went out with that guy. May god keep my sanity and may all of u find the strength.............try meditation it helps.............just sit and go into that state of thoughtlessness for 10 minutes dont think abt anything....it will help u ....may be( nothing works for me) everytime i close my eyes its her face......so thoughts are always there............its said that if things are there in ur subconscious u never forget them, with me they are in my conscious forget subconscious.but things will be good someday. Maybe i will find a good girl who will acknowledge this love......My ex says that i am the best guy any girl can think of and i never did anything wrong, but she doesnt feel the same way abt me....man ridiculous answer...............anyways....if you think anything might help me...just shoot it...........................thanks and i am indebted for all the soothing words............. Link to post Share on other sites
Author girls_do_cheat Posted September 23, 2004 Author Share Posted September 23, 2004 at times i feel like emailing the guy she is fooling around with, telling him that what she was doing....but then i don't want to loosed my dignity.......................i just want to save her.............she is just 20 and will end up an emotionally drained sexually used and abused female by the time she is 30...........i don't know how to make her realize...................................or should i even care?? Link to post Share on other sites
Pookette Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 i just thought that girls were supposed to be more mellow and have more feelings I'm sorry, but some of us women are man-eating sharks. Cold, calculating and emotionless. I'm sorry you met one of them. Can you quit school and accept the job? If being in college is making you miserable, get out! Make a change in your life that you can look forward to and focus all the negative emotions you have into the positive things in your life. Once you start at a great new job, or get a great new place to live, etc. you'll find out life isn't so bad after all. Sounds cliched, but it works. Hang in there, we've all been there and we've all lived through it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author girls_do_cheat Posted September 23, 2004 Author Share Posted September 23, 2004 Thanks pookette, well no i am still in the process of finishing my thesis which unfortunately i can't concentrate on, but i do plan on getting it done asap and then maybe in maximum of a month move out and start a job......i am going to start hunting for one soon and maybe i will forget her eventually..............and yes she is cold, calculating and emotionless....................... Link to post Share on other sites
Author girls_do_cheat Posted September 23, 2004 Author Share Posted September 23, 2004 I dont know....i am sitting here at 4 am suddenly her smiling face flashes before my eyes...there is nothing to remind me of her still i am sitting here and crying out of no where....why is this happening to me.............this is crazy man...this pain is too much..its been 10 days and i am still crying................. Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 The tears will dry up, brother. No man is a bottomless pit of lacrimal essence. Link to post Share on other sites
DerangedAngel Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 I'm so sorry, g_d_c. I hope there's something just around the corner to help cheer you up. -Deranged Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 I don't know if this helps, but always, always, when I was about to have an exam, my love life would turn blue. It is also the stress of finishing the University, of going out in the real world. Trust me,it's all in your head. I mean,of course you are hurt and and she did treat you like crap, but you have to undersatnd that part of the pressure comes form your situation also. Do your best to concentrate on school. Once you finish it,you'll feel this incredible sense of release... and feel sorry for not dedicating to studying more. She is out. What she did, who she did it with, why she did it with... these are details. Boy, don't take this the wrong way, but grow a spine. What's that I'm hearing about her loving your cooking and walking all over you? Hellloooo? It's over! The good cooking, the nice loving.... She disrespected you and continues to do so because you allow her to. No one can force someone else to love that person, but respect is the slightest form of appreciation she can show for the time you two spent together, for the sacrifices you made. She doesn't? I guess she doesn't desirve you or your tears either. Concentrate on your work, it will definantely pay off in the end. Change your place, get a job, it will be easier to start all over again in a new place. Sounds to me like you could use a fresh start ! Link to post Share on other sites
Author girls_do_cheat Posted September 23, 2004 Author Share Posted September 23, 2004 Thanks everybody, yes i have tried to grow a spine, and i get over her but then she comes back again and cuts it and i have to start trying growing it back.Today again she comes to me in the morning and she was like "i feel miserable i was reading some of ur mails and i don't know what i am doing why i am doing it", i just told her to get lost and i dont want to see ur face and she left.But ya she is planning n going out with the new guy for a long weekend and i am sure, if she would have felt anything she would not have done that.I think i am strong enough , i can take all the challenges in this world i have shown that in the past, but Love is something which makes u spineless..........but cheating helps it grow back. I feel a lot better today. I have tried to minimize my stay inmy own apartment because i live alone and i was living alone because she was with me, i think always being in a group keeps me distracted, but the moment i return to that apartment......eeekkkksss it sucks............anyways won't move out now as i will move out of this place in maybe another month or so.............till then i will fight it....thanks all. Link to post Share on other sites
Urban Rubble01 Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 Well, I've never been cheated on, or really, treated like that, so it's hard to say what you should do. I think that if she so systematically cheated when she knew she would hurt you, you should lose her and do what's good for you, even if you don't particularly want it. It seems like I girl like that could only cause you more pain, right ? But like I said, it's easier for me to say that than actually do it. I know how strong love can be and how bad you can want someone, not matter how they hurt you. Stay strong. Link to post Share on other sites
Author girls_do_cheat Posted September 24, 2004 Author Share Posted September 24, 2004 She calls me and says that she is confused she doesnt know herself what is in store in life for her and she doenst know what she is doing or what she is doing. Is this some way to make me weak again? i was kind of getting used to the loss, but now i feel sorry for her..........i dont know i cant see her in pain even though she has given me enough.....any idea what is happening????is it just her age she is just 20.................or am i thinking too much??she said she will talk to me tomorrow.....should i ????? Link to post Share on other sites
Pookette Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 She's just jerking you around. She calls me and says that she is confused she doesnt know herself what is in store in life for her and she doenst know what she is doing She's f*ck%ng with your mind. You agreed she's cold, calculating and emotionless. If you just keep remembering that, and remembering what she's done to you, you should have no problem realizing that this chick is bad news. For all you know, she's doing the same to a few other guys, hoping that one of them will jump through hoops for her. Steer clear of this one, my friend. Link to post Share on other sites
t866 Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 GDC- You will beat your self up later if you do get back with her and nothing has changed, believe me I know. Would you rather go through a few days, months of pain then the rest of your life with this girl? There is someone one out there that will respect and appreciate everything you do, I know right now you can't imagine yourself with anyone else, I know your in pain and everything you do reminds you of her. This is normal, everyone that has been through a break-up knows the feelings that come along with it. There is nothing wrong with being in a relationship and having it not work out, it's a page in your book. It is what it is and you can't change that or her. But you can change yourself, don't settle for this typeof behavior from this woman. I know it's better said then done. Time does heal, and when you do heal... you will sit back and think to yourself why did I ever put up with that behavior. I believe trust is one if not the important things in a relationship. If you can't trust her, you always be wondering what she is doing and beating yourself up. Don't do that to yourself you don't deserve that. Good luck, time heals all wounds. Focus your energy on someone else who will be proud to have you. Just know that you deserve to be the number 1 person in the life of the number 1 person in your life. It takes two to make a relationship work. Best of luck!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author girls_do_cheat Posted September 25, 2004 Author Share Posted September 25, 2004 Thanks t866, I am focusing my energies on getting out of this place, complete my graduation somehow and move on.This place will never let me heal though... no matter how hard i try....things just keep reminding me of her......anyways i know its not worth it. To day again she came and when i asked why was she there, she said that just to check if i am doing ok...........i asked if she is still going to see the other guy and she was like yes i am not changing my plans....i just lost my cool and asked her to get lost and never ever do this to me....keep coming back so that whenever i see her face my wounds are just tickled.................i hate it...wheneve i see her face i just loose my defense......................i am still getting used to the new lifestyle though the pain is a little less.....i miss there being no one to kiss in middle of the nights and no ones face to wake up to in the mornings and that hurts...but i will be fine.............time to move on....no second chances here................i had false hopes but now i am strong enough and i have made my mind that i can't take her back.thanks all....... Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts