should i send her a message after she got me arrested

[93TheHitStick]

We dated for over a year.

 

2 months ago we got in an argument. And broke up. She came over to my house flipping out. She hit me in the head with an iron. Broke a broom across my back. And busted my face with my xbox. Once i realized i was bleeding i kicked her out and told her i would mess her up if she came back.

 

She dropped her phone on the way out. She went home crying without her phone. And her mom called the cops!

 

I got arrested cuz im the dude. Then she started telling them i choked her. And shes scared that if i get out ill kill her and her family. So i had to sit in jail for two months. Even though she had no marks on her.

 

 

The day i got out the prosecutor read this letter she wrote. Saying she is so scared to live her life. That she'll never have another boyfriend because of me. That its my fault her grandma died because of the stress of all this. That she doesnt hate me but she hopes i.get help. And she wants me to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

 

Her friend even made a witness statement saying she saw me beat her up. Im thinking she must have told her to say that. Since i never touched her.

 

Anyway ive been out for a few weeks. I miss her. She was my bestfriend. And even though i dont want her back i wanna talk to her. For like five minutes. Say im sorry. See if she really meant that stuff or her mom made her say it. Just see if shes okay.

 

But she has a no contact order. Everyone that i know is telling me to never talk to her again. Just forget her. Like i said i dont want her back. But i want to talk to her. Should i risk it? Or.just try to forget her.

[Art_Critic]

Time to put this one behind you, don't break the order as you will go back to jail.

 

Call this one done and store it in your file under education.

[picaso28]

No freakin way.....if all you said is true she sounds crazy. If you contact her she will prob call the police.

 

Let her go man. go find a women and get laid. Best way to get over it.

 

Good luck

[ses]

Your relationship was incredibly unhealthy. Domestic violence can NEVER be justified. Why would you even consider violating the restraining order? Be smart. You know better than to ask. You don't want to get in more trouble. She's not worth it. She doesn't respect you, and is not emotionally healthy. Cut her loose and walk away. Focus on forming healthy relationships with others and take some time to heal.

[StanMusial]

Why do you want to talk to her? To thank her for sending you to jail?

Edited April 14, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[TaraMaiden]

..... i want to talk to her. Should i risk it? Or.just try to forget her.

 

Really....?!?

 

I mean - REALLY - !!??!?

 

 

Dude - Please, fer phukk's sake!!

[Locust]

I say f**k no. She is one crazy @$$ b***h. She is emotionally unstable like mud on a hill side. I would say never attempt to see her or get close to her in any kind of way.

[ascendotum]

You want to say sorry.....for what..pushing her over the edge? If what you say is true I would never forgive the woman. She might have been sweet once but the violence & false arrest & a false conviction would be the bisch's legacy for me. (you had no lawyer?) Don't trust her not to squeal to the cops if you call her. Communicate via a common friend (if there is still one).

[pcplod]

But she has a no contact order. Everyone that i know is telling me to never talk to her again. Just forget her. Like i said i dont want her back. But i want to talk to her. Should i risk it? Or.just try to forget her.

 

See, now, if I was a psych bitch and I had publicly and formally stated that I was afraid that John Doe was going to be a threat to me if he is not in prison, what I would do is to contact him surreptitiously, wait for him to get back in contact with me and then ring the cops.

 

Easy innit?

 

The fact that it will almost certainly blow up in my face is neither here or there because I am crazy, you know? In any event, the police and prosecuting authorities are not likely to do much beyond warning me about my behaviour because they don't want to discourage women who really have been victims of domestic violence from reporting their attackers.

 

Do you really need to be told anything else? Let your head over-rule your dick.

[robaday]

This sounds similar to what Ive just been through, although have not been locked up....

 

Look what good can talking to her do? Do you want to end up back in jail? problem is with these people is that they are soo convinced that you are a bad guy that you end up being one.......seriously bro, she may even want you to cause trouble cause in her messed up mind you are at fault

 

Im only speculating. I dont know what happened with you or the girl involved. I do know though my ex had an abusive ex boyfriend.....and there were soo many times she would be up in my face, or slamming things or screaming at me, almost like she wanted me to be that guy....it was scary and at times I struggled to keep my cool...she only assaulted me once, but I know in retrospect it would have been me who would have got charged or penalised if it had happened again.

 

Dont do it man. Dont lose your dignity or risk your freedom. If she does have regrets she will let you know, nothing you do will get you what you want or can change the way she reacts to you

[Downtown]

She hit me in the head with an iron. Broke a broom across my back. And busted my face with my xbox.... I got arrested cuz im the dude.... But i want to talk to her. Should i risk it?

HitStick, I agree with the other members advising you not to contact her. There is a good chance she has strong traits of BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), which is strongly associated with emotional instability, temper tantrums, and physical violence. And, because BPDers typically are convinced they are victims, it is common for them to have their partners and spouses arrested on a false charge.

 

My BPDer exW, for example, had me arrested on a bogus charge and thrown into jail for 3 days. She was convinced that I was a violent man who was fabricating a new lie every week. If you would like to read more about BPD traits so as to spot the warning signs, I suggest you read my description of them in Rebel's thread at Crazy I think but I love her anyway. If that description rings a bell, I would be glad to discuss it with you and point you to good online resources. Take care, HitStick.