jerryinva Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 Hi all, Well...after yet another huge fight..in which she told me (volunteered) that he was asking her about her dad;s house. She said it was a odd question. Later, I find out that they were talking about houses, talking about what each other wants in a house, for when they get married. I said so you are going to get married...and she repiled yes, they just didn't know when. So, after a month and nearly a half of dating...they both love each so much..they are talking about marriage. So, a huge fight the occurred...when I told her I thought she was moving too fast... Lots of hateful words exchanged, bottom line is...she has made her choice. At first she said she never wanted to speak to me again,,, Now she said she is going out of town to Chicago to see an old college friend (a female) of hers. She said maybe a few days away will allow some thought and reflection. So, when she got off the phone...she said "so I'll talk to you sometime Monday." So, as far as I am concerned, the no contact period has begun... Link to post Share on other sites
Notorious Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 Dude, I've read your past posts and I'll tell you what everyone else tells you. STOP. ENOUGH. Cut her out of your life forever and move on. Why do you torture yourself like this? I don't understand. Leave with at least some sort of your pride intact. If she calls, don't answer. Don't talk to her again. Ever. Link to post Share on other sites
backspn Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 I wouldnt say never Jerry......just not for awhile. You seriously are damaging your manhood with her....she probably looks at you like a baby. Get your pride back and not talk to her for about 60 days and maybe longer....she will miss you...I guarantee it. She will come back...the guy she is with now is a rebound relationship...they never make it. Just be a man and show whats up....kick her to the curb as they say and see what happens...she'll be back...whether you want her then or not. Link to post Share on other sites
prevch Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 back is prolly right Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 17, 2004 Author Share Posted September 17, 2004 I goofed..and accidently dialed her # tonight.. a few minutes ago... I was trying to solve a weird ground problem with my phone..it rang once, and she answered. She asked me what was wrong..and I told her about the phone...she said you are wired for sound. I commented how mellow she was..and she replied she was on the other line with him. So I apologized for the mistake, and quickly got off the phone. Link to post Share on other sites
crazydawg Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 u didn't accidently dial her number ok. Stop making excuses and be a friggin man son. I called my ex 3 weeks ago the last time i did i told her i loved her she promised she was gonna call and talk to me the next day. She never did. Guess what now she imed me yesterday and we talked for 3 hours. We are meeting up next week. Yes she played me with a ex boyfriend. She hurt me But i put it in my head that it was over and guess who came crawling back.. Disapear and they'll wonder believe me.. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 Originally posted by jerryinva I goofed..and accidently dialed her # tonight.. a few minutes ago... I was trying to solve a weird ground problem with my phone Don't kid yourself, do you really think you accidentally dialed? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 17, 2004 Author Share Posted September 17, 2004 Actually, I did have a phone problem...to the point that I called the phone company, and they are sending the repair service out... I am getting phantom rings, I can hear ringing while I am talking on the phone.... weird stuff. Her number was the last one I had dialed on that phone...I thought it had been my dad's...I didn't expect her to answer on the first ring...once I realized it was her number I called. I thought I was going to be able to hang up before she answered...or it even registered on her caller ID on her end. And, I appreciate the words of encouragement..about NC...but when she is talking about that "they" are talking about marriage after a month and a half of dating...and they are going away for a "getaway the 28th, 29th, 30...I don't see how NC can work and/or there could be another chance if I leave her alone... but I do intend to do so...as I said, she is going to be out of town this weekend...so there will be no contact then..a good place to start... Link to post Share on other sites
backspn Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 It is a good place to start....but you have to realize that she is probably just "playing" you. Girls talk about stuff just to hurt guys. They dont mean a word of it but they want you to feel bad so they dont. I bet that they are not getting married at all and that she is just elaborating on this to get to you. If she is getting married after just a month then I'll tell you that you have found a very unstable person to love. NOBODY can find true love and marry in 1 month and make it last. Me and my girl were in love for almost 3 years and look what happened. Just forget about her and when you finally say "forget her" and move on altogether.....that is when she will want you back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 17, 2004 Author Share Posted September 17, 2004 Dear God....I hope you are all right... I am so depressed...and frustrated. I wanted to drive my car into a telephone pole yesterday. I skipped grad school class last night, I was so depressed... :-( Link to post Share on other sites
backspn Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 Dont put your career or future on hold for a woman!!!! Nobody is more important than you are!!! Go to class...I know its so so hard but in 2 months you'll look back and laugh....I GUARANTEE IT!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 18, 2004 Author Share Posted September 18, 2004 She called me at work...and we somehow wandered into the subject of "him" again, and she informed me that after they come back from their little getaway...that he is going to ask her dad if it is ok to marry his daughter. They are planning a date in September. When I tried to persuade her that the relationship was moving too fast...she got angry, an arguement occurred. She ended up telling me she never wants to speak to me again, or see me again. She said she hated me, and wished she never met me again. She said as far as her cell phone she loaned me..I could throw it away for all she cared, if it mean she didn't have to see me... So, I will be getting no contact... Link to post Share on other sites
lost_in_chgo Posted September 18, 2004 Share Posted September 18, 2004 getting pretty unbelievable these days Link to post Share on other sites
honey2005 Posted September 18, 2004 Share Posted September 18, 2004 I think you're just making it worse by talking to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 18, 2004 Author Share Posted September 18, 2004 I am just amazed at how she can break off a 2 year engagement back in July...and 3 months later...will be accepting a new proposal from the 54 year old.... And do people ever realize that when they say something hateful to someone, it could be the last time they speak to them? Link to post Share on other sites
honey2005 Posted September 18, 2004 Share Posted September 18, 2004 Don't worry about what she's doing. She's not with you anymore, if she thinks she's in love with a 54 year old man, then so be it. Let her marry him, it might work out, it might not. She has to make her own mistakes, you can't be there beside her telling her what she shouldn't and shouldn't do. You're not her boyfriedn anymore, just let it go. I think you need to go out and start doing things for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
shellen Posted September 18, 2004 Share Posted September 18, 2004 i think for ur case...she knows she can get away with anything everytime because u allow her to do so.... how many times have i read u saying it's "no contact" from now on, but you are on the phone with her again the next day.... and your no contact is because you think she is not going to contact u and you will not be able to get her... dude...it does not work this way.... you gotta be the one who does not want to contact her even when you know you are able to get her...and you must be the one who wants to refuse contact from her even when she contacts u... that is why your no contact, until now has never started... because it was never you wanting it, but coz she put u in such a situation Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 18, 2004 Author Share Posted September 18, 2004 I don't know that the friendship has not been damaged to the point that it can't be fixed... She told me she never wanted to speak to her again, I am not her friend. Friends think that will change, like it always has....but I am not convinced... And I am sad, lonely, and tired. Link to post Share on other sites
lost_in_chgo Posted September 18, 2004 Share Posted September 18, 2004 She's not in love with the 54 yr old. She's playing with him to turn Jerry into a basket case. Hell, jerry's driving me to look for a 54 yr old too. Perhaps she really loves jerry, but just can't deal with his obessive compulsive behavior. Maybe if jerry got some professional help (and actually listened to it) he'd have a shot at getting her back. Link to post Share on other sites
emra Posted September 18, 2004 Share Posted September 18, 2004 this woman does not sound nice at all. 1st why would she be talking to you about getting married to someone else, only to hurt you. She is playing with your emotions and if you continue to talk to her it is only going to get worse. She apparently enjoys seeing you suffer. YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE You need to stop letting her play with your emotions before you get feeling even worse. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 19, 2004 Author Share Posted September 19, 2004 wonder if she really loves him too...but she insists she does. All though I find it interesting she went to Chicago this weekend with the ex fiance to a friend's birthday party..while she is talking about marriage to this other guy. Y You are right...my only hope is to back off...but seeing as she left town saying she never wants to speak to me....that may not be a problem. Link to post Share on other sites
shellen Posted September 19, 2004 Share Posted September 19, 2004 see...it is the same thing again...im backing off coz she is leaving town and said she never wants to speak to me again... i bet if she called u the next moment...you are going to entertain her again.... guys, i think we should quit asking jerry to stop being in contact with her coz he obviously does not want to do that... why dun you get urself a gf and start telling her the stuffs she tells u abt her and her old guy...and see how she reacts lol it's a stupid idea that does not help anything but it is better than letting her trample all over u like a doormat... Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 19, 2004 Author Share Posted September 19, 2004 Hey, maybe that isn't a bad idea...except playing the jealousy card hasn't work well in the past She gets jealous on her own. There are a few names I can't even mention without as she puts it "her blood boiling." Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 19, 2004 Author Share Posted September 19, 2004 Well...it is Sunday. I have not spoken to her since Friday at 3 p.m. She was out of town yesterday... so we will see if she actually calls. So, maybe not talking to her won't be so difficult.. If she chooses not to talk to me... Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 19, 2004 Author Share Posted September 19, 2004 I saw a stuffed animal in my closet that she gave me from the law school she went to... it made me get teary eyed... I would love to have her in a relationship, but I will settle for just a friendship... even if we don't talk every day... As a opposed to what we have now..which is silence... I doubt she has thought about me all weekend... Link to post Share on other sites
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