lost_in_chgo Posted September 20, 2004 Share Posted September 20, 2004 Probably spent all weekend in bed. I'll bet when he stepped out the bellboy filled in for him. See it could be worse. Link to post Share on other sites
j_nelson Posted September 20, 2004 Share Posted September 20, 2004 "I saw a stuffed animal in my closet that she gave me from the law school she went to... it made me get teary eyed... I would love to have her in a relationship, but I will settle for just a friendship... even if we don't talk every day... As a opposed to what we have now..which is silence... I doubt she has thought about me all weekend..." Seeing as you aren't going to stop posting your bullsh*t I guess I will choose to never read anything posted by you ever again. Clearly you have a lot of problems yourself. Get a life man. I bet she did think about you this weekend...about what a pathetic baby you are. How old are you again? You only live once man. Stop being a pussy...get out and do something. Link to post Share on other sites
crazydawg Posted September 20, 2004 Share Posted September 20, 2004 stop haiting on this guy we all went through this crap just some people are more sensitive. I never cried over my ex leaving because i stopped myself and smacked myself in the face untill i realized that you know what. Her loss Man stop feeling bad for yourself we were all there at one point. I have posts where i was a fag also , slowly times passes and feelings start going away believe me they do. Right now i'm back to square one, going to meet her this friday for the first time in 3 months the only thing that worked was stop coming around stop calling and just disapear. Right now i don't know what i'm gonna do guys. This **** crap just tramples my mind. Maybe i ahve to be a man about and let it go... Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 20, 2004 Author Share Posted September 20, 2004 J. Nelson... thanks for calling me a pussy... don't get a job as a therapist...all your patients will kill themselves... J (and the rest), imagine if you had the chance to go back and find that one person that meant so much to you when you were little, but you didn't realize how important that could be later... So you find that one person, especially someone from the opposite sex...there is an immediate attraction....which still hasn't died this day...she is just choosing to ignore it... and you have the chance to rekindle the friendship, and more. You all have had that one person in your life, if you will think about it... That is my problem... people walked in and out of my life a lot when I was a kid... so here is one who walked out...because we moved away...and I found her again. That is why it is so hard to not talk to her...or to "let go" and pursue NC...you can't believe the elation I felt when I saw her again.... That stuffed animal she gave me two weeks after we saw each other for the first time...again, since we were kids. So it represents a much happier and simpler time... that is why I teared up... I love her... I would jump in front of a bus and push her out of the way....to save her... So my heart is physically aching... I miss my lover, and I really miss my friend... so if that makes me a "pussy" as you call it....I don't know what else to say... Link to post Share on other sites
crazydawg Posted September 20, 2004 Share Posted September 20, 2004 get a hold of yourself man. Pleass stop.. We all felt like doing stupid things. BUt i'd never post such nonsense. Whose more important to YOU. YOur life or someone who doesnt care about you. All of us have to realize that these people dont care about us. Once they dump us its over. Only they can want to work things out again no one else. Link to post Share on other sites
j_nelson Posted September 20, 2004 Share Posted September 20, 2004 Jerry..you are right..I am being a bit harsh...I know how you feel about this girl...but somehow you have to understand that the BEST way for you to get her back in your life the way you want her to be is to leave her alone starting immediately. You have to start right now. What is the longest you have ever gone no contact for? I guarantee you if you promise yourself that you not initiate any contact with her for ONE MONTH (which in reality isnt even very long at all for NC) you will feel much better. I bet she will be so surprised and she may even start treating you with some RESPECT. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 20, 2004 Author Share Posted September 20, 2004 J, I accept your apology, but don't fault you for wanting to help. I understand your frustration with me...I feel it everyday internally. Unfortunately, my f'ing loser self gave into a moment of weakness, and called her on the way home from work, just now. First time, to say thank you for depositing the money in my account she had borrowed, and the follow up call, apologize for the first one. DUMB DUMB DUMBA$$. So if there was any healing done over the weekend, I just undid it. And she didn't answer, but her cell phone wasn't off, so she was either ignoring me, or she was "out" with you know who. I thought of another puzzler...WTF? She asks me when she was at my house last weekend, and the phone rang if that was one of my girlfriends. Then later...that night, she asked me if the reason I either didn't answer the phone, or took a long time to call her back, was because I had met/was talking to someone. When I went to answer...she said she didn't want to hear it.... Doesn't sound like platonic friend questions to me...sounded like questions that were thinly veiled as jokes. But, it matters now not. She obviously really doesn't want to talk to me...so my loser self will leave her alone. I don't know that she will EVER call back, or anything else.... But thanks for smacking me upside the head....J...maybe if you kicked me, you might kick some since into me.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 20, 2004 Author Share Posted September 20, 2004 It is 7:30 on Monday morning...and she never acknowledged my messages from last night... So it seems no contact is no problem...she obviously does hate me, and never want to speak to me again... Link to post Share on other sites
wasitheone Posted September 20, 2004 Share Posted September 20, 2004 Hey Jerryinva, Try not to look at it in terms of black & white ( Loves you or hates you ). Think of the times you have had a message from a friend and why you didn't call back straight away - too busy, not got phone with you, network crapping out etc etc. Hate is a very strong word to use lightly. Be strong P.S. Got that trip to Vegas booked yet Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 20, 2004 Author Share Posted September 20, 2004 If I had the money, I would gladly take that trip to Vegas... I just called her cell...and apologized for last week...and she called me back, from her work phone, and askd me "What do I need?" I replied, "you." She then told me she was at work and busy, and if I was really sorry for last week, I would not call her at work, I would wait until after 4... So she can ignore my calls, because she obviously has caller ID on her cell phone... So I guess she really does hate me... Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 20, 2004 Author Share Posted September 20, 2004 She has been online for the better part of an hour... she set herself to away for most of it... then just about 5 minutes ago...it shows she is available again. And before you go busting on me...I forgot to take her off my buddy list... I will do so later...when she isn't on...so that it doesn't seem so "jerk-like." Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted September 20, 2004 Share Posted September 20, 2004 Honestly Jerry, you are obsessed and you need help now. If I were her, I'd be putting a restraining order against you. You are NOT behaving normally. Unless you want to go to jail, QUIT CONTACTING HER NOW. Link to post Share on other sites
Kizzyfur Posted September 20, 2004 Share Posted September 20, 2004 These unconscious behavioral or psychological maneuvers enable the individual to minimize or avoid anxiety, affects or impulses arising out of conflict. http://www.behavenet.com/capsules/treatments/analytic/defense.htm Help-Rejecting Complaining: Through this defense mechanism one may attempt to resolve an emotional conflict by complaining to or soliciting help from others then rejecting their attempts to offer assistance. I would also bet you suffer from dependant personality disorder. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dependent_personality_disorder I think you should seek treatment emediatly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 20, 2004 Author Share Posted September 20, 2004 Well...you guys don't have to hear about it anymore... She IM'd me, and asked me to call her, and like a fool I did. So I am on my way to work, and she drops the bomb that the friendship is over...and she never wants to speak to me. She wants me to send the cellphone back to her that is hers, that she loaned me...and she is going to deposit the rest of the money in my account she borrowed. She said then there is no further reason for contact between us.... She said spending time with the friends she was around this weekend showed her what true friendships are...and ours is not...and she does not want to suffer through it any longer... I pleaded with her to change her mind, and she refused, saying once again I want her to put my feelings before hers... and the more I kept her on the phone (even though she was the one who told me to call her), just reinforced my lack of respect for her... So it is finished...and why shouldn't I be... Link to post Share on other sites
shoemit Posted September 20, 2004 Share Posted September 20, 2004 jerry-- i hope this is the end. i'm sorry but i have never ever read anything more pathetic than your sorry-ass story. i'm not even going to apologize this time. it's just so pathetic. it's sickening . frankly i'm suprised that you don't have a restrainig order filed against you. i hope that you will get better. best of luck Link to post Share on other sites
shellen Posted September 22, 2004 Share Posted September 22, 2004 jerry, i think this is gd news.really, it's better this way.some has to pull the plug to this soap opera of urs.since you cannot make yourself do it, now you do not have a choice but to move on and let her go. tho i may not be as happy as when i was still with my ex but i am definitely better off without him playing games with my mind... Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 23, 2004 Author Share Posted September 23, 2004 Today, she came online this morning, and said hello...but kept her distance emotionally and verbally all day.. it was like 2 days ago, but I hadn't done anything to her. But it is all good...I will just keep quiet.... Link to post Share on other sites
InLimbo2 Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 When you can: 1 - not respond to her IMs and calls at all and/or 2 - block her from calling and IM'n you Then you've made some real progress! She told you never speak to her again, then says hi this morning. You will take that as a sign she still cares and wants to be something with you. The reality is that she's a seriously mentally ill woman that wants to play games with you and turn you inside out - because she can - on her whim. Ever seen a cat play with a spider or bug? NO CONTACT means YOU control and limit the contact. Stop allowing her to contact you. After a few weeks away from this toxic woman you might start to come out of the fog. Link to post Share on other sites
Melancholy Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 DUDE - she's not into you - stop stalking her and obsessing over her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 24, 2004 Author Share Posted September 24, 2004 If she contacted me...I wasn't stalking her... I was leaving her alone... But you are right... talking to her on IM was a setback...if she is going to shut me back out again... Link to post Share on other sites
InLimbo2 Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 ---If she contacted me...I wasn't stalking her... I was leaving her alone... actually, at least here in MD - a RO only goes one way. The one granted it can do whatever they want and any contact they want - if you respond you are in violation. Sucks and doesn't make sense, but it's the law. Leaving her alone = you choosing to have no contact and making sure there is none. She's just playin you again - cat with a spider - watches you limp away and drags you back as soon as you get near freedom. ---But you are right... talking to her on IM was a setback...if she is going to shut me back out again... no, it wasn't a setback cuz she's going to shut you back out.......it was a setback because you fell into her trap again. Do better next time, if you can't bring yourself to block her - just ignore her messages - baby steps to set you free. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts