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He cheated- twice and I still need support to leave


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My boyfriend of 5 years has cheated on me twice (that I know of). The first awful time was when he was on a business trip. I met him at the airport in this city he was at to fly off together on what I was considering to be my dream romantic trip in the Bahamas. Later I found out that he was just saying goodbye to her as he was waiting to meet me to go on our trip together. I was devastated when I found that out! But I stayed despite it and never thought it would happen again.

 

A couple of weeks ago I found out that he had an affair with a local girl on this trip that he took by himself to an island off of Venezuala. Not so shocked this time. The first time hurt more, cuz the second time you already know that he's capable of it. I always swore that I would never stay with a cheating man, but I did. But the second time was it. Over.

 

We've lived together in his house for 4 years along with my teenage daughter. I feel bad uprooting her again, but she's really understanding of it.

I went right out and made an offer on a condo, but the contract was not accepted by the seller. I was upset and told him about it. He proceeded to tell me that it was probably a good thing because I don't want to get in over my head by moving out and having to pay a mortgage. I immdediately made a second offer which was accepted. That's where the problem is, he still thinks that I haven't bought anything and I'm afraid to tell him. He was really cold and mean when he thought I was leaving, but now that he thinks I'm staying he's being over the top nice to me. He doesn't want to lose me.

 

I'm just trying to keep that peace in our household because it it going to be 4 more weeks before I can move out. I feel horribly guilty for leading him on like this, but life would be hell until then. ( I have no where else to go in the meantime. Am I being deceitful?

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Well ok yes you are being a bit deceitful but he deserves it. And the last thing you need is hell before you move out.

 

Regards

 

Overseas2004

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This idiot cheated on you twice (that you know of) so are you now being decietful in NOT telling him that you're taking care of yourself and your daughter and making yourself okay.... HELL NO!

 

IF he didn't want to loose you then I guess he should have thought of that before he decided to cheat on you, he took that risk... so IF you didn't mean enough to him to keep it in his freakin pants then ya know what, he gets what he has coming to him.

 

Think about this.... he didn't feel bad about cheating, he may feel bad (for himself!) now that he got caught but obviously IF he had any guilt about doing it to begin with the FIRST time, he was able to let go of that and do it anyway, and I think that it must just get easier for him to cheat.

 

I just got this really great book it's called "He's just not that into you" its a new release.... PLEASE get a copy of it.

 

We ALL deserve to be treated well;)

 

Take care of yourself and don't feel badly about doing what you need to do to be okay.

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