Confused and dazed! My ex is hot and close or distant and cold!

[Tia]

I started dating this guy in March. He was everything that I ever wanted in a man. He was loving, he spent time with me, he called. We talked on the phone every opportunity we got. He just did things other guys that I dated had never done for me. For the most part, he was crazy about me. Two months later, he just became emotionally distant every now and then. He would call and we would talk endless hours still, but he stop wanting to spend as much time with me.

 

In May, we both agreed to chill out for a while, cuz he claimed he was stressed from his upcoming divorce, his job, but he still called and it was like we were still together. I'll say this all went along until about the end of July. He stopped calling as much and it seemed he called to whine about him being stressed and not being able to find an apartment, etc. I was surprised that he spent the entire 4th of july with me and my family instead of his friends cuz he had been so distant before.

 

In August, our calls to 1 every other day. My 27th birthday was during that month and he came to my party which was surprising cuz he had been so distant. During my party, we went outside and talked about us which is something he would rarely talk about. He told me that he wanted to be with me "bad as hell", but he can't give me what I want now and he was so romantic that night. We spent Labor Day together, and he told me for the first time out of the blue that he was inlove with me and couldn't help it, but it doesn't mean we are going to be together again, and i am his baby, and he loves me (i thought he was going crazy, cuz he never talks like this). He asked me to be patient with him, give him his space and give him time,that there are some things he need to work out. i didn't question his reasons cuz i was so excited that he was finally expressing feelings that i've longed to hear from him. After that, we really haven't talked much on the phone and I've been over to visit him once. We wud usually text each other or small talk at work, but if i don't call him for a few days or text him (needless to say he doesn't call or text me either), he will text me continously asking me why i don't want to talk to him and if he calls me and i tell him i am going to call him back, he will call me back several times before i get to call him back. He asked for space!

What is going on with him?

 

I told him 2 days ago that it wasn't a good idea that we talk anymore, he said he was okay with it if that was what i wanted, but he texted me the same night asking me why i didn't want to talk to him. i didn't reply. the next morning, he called me out of the blue. I didn't answer. When I got to work, he came to my office and asked why i didn't answer my phone. I didn't reply. I just didn't know what to say. When I went to his office to perhaps offer some excuse to why i didn't reply to him, he acted nonchalant and asked when he could use my computer to download rosters for his playstation 2 game which was the reason why he called me that morning in the first place, by the way which is all he does in his spare time along with drink beer now and he's 26! What is going on? I spent the night with him last night 9-16-04 and he distant and cold after it was him who asked me to come over. I don't know what to do! What should i do? When i try to give him space, he doesn't respect that! I do love him too, but feel so caught in the middle.

[CCBD]

Sounds like you were cold first by not answering and emailing him back. If I were him, I would think you were the one that was cold by not answering me, did you ever think about that?

 

If he were to keep bugging you after you didn't reply all those times, would you still respect him? Personally, I don't think so, I would probably think he was obsessive if I showed him (numerous times) that I didn't care to respond. So, I think he's doing the right thing (by backing off) after all those tries.