Jenx Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 My boyfriend and i had been together for 2,5 years and were planning on moving in together soon. I have just found out that my boyfriend had a date with another girl last weekend and they kissed. When i found out about this i straight away broke up with him. But now i want him back so badly. Of course i'm angry with him but i feel we can work at the relationship and make things work. Is it normal to feel this way? I always told myself that if anybody cheated on me they'd be out the door, never to come back....but now it's actually happend to me and i can't let go of him, i love him to much. I don't know what to do.... Link to post Share on other sites
fredrolin Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 When I was younger I had a girlfriend cheat on me several times. I wanted her back. But it never worked out and today I kick myself for the years I wasted not dating anyone else and trying to get her back. The way I look at it is that if someone cheats on you they don't truly respect you or the relationship. Why be with a person like that? Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 However, There's a big difference between a drunken one night accident, and a planned date out with another girl, doncha think? I do. If he planned out the date (how did you find out, did he lie?) then its sort of like pre meditated murder; he knew what he was doing, he just willfully disregarded your feelings, and probably that of the other girl, unless she knew about you, and just didn't care. Also, you don't date someone you don't care about. If I were going to have a one night stand, that's all it would be for me, just the sex. However, if I really liked someone, I'd want to go out on a date with them: to a movie, dinner, whatever. Something where there is more then just sex involved. If your man has feelings for this other girl, I'm not sure that you can get him back. He may just be ready to move on. All you can do is talk to him about the situation, get some closure on what happened, then move from there. That is whether you all can work it out, or whether you just need to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jenx Posted September 21, 2004 Author Share Posted September 21, 2004 Thank you fredrolin and YellowLioness for your advice. I realised that my heart was telling me to take him back and that i couldn't think rationally. I somehow put it behind me and for the first day since the break up, i didn't shed a tear..... Yesterday evening i spoke to my ex and he told me he want's me back..... Just when i thought i was getting through this, i get all confused again! My heart still loves him so much and before i really did want him back, but now i am in doubt, if i think rationally about it, i know i deserve better, i deserve a man who will treat me the right way. And to be honest, i don't know if i will ever be able to trust my ex again..... But i also believe in not giving up and i think where there's a will, there's a way.... now i just don't know whether to try (and work extremely hard) and possibly get hurt again....or maybe be very, very happy like we used to be. Or i could choose not to take him back and be young and single again....which i must say does sound strange to me, i don't know if i want that. So even if i would take my ex back, would i be doing it for the right reasons? Of course i love him, but love isn't enough to make a relationship work. Could i just be taking him back because i'm scared of being lonely..... I am so confused, i just don't know what to do.....i'm hoping time and a lot of thinking will give me answers..... XXX Jenx Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly10340 Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 I went out with a guy for 2.5 years and I cheated on him. We were even engaged. I kissed someone else. It was stupid, a mistake, I felt awful. So awful I told the guy and broke up with him myself. Yeah, I wanted him back and he wanted me back, but that's not what happened. Be strong! After a little time away from each other I realized that I kissed someone else because that was my hearts way of telling me something was wrong with my current relationship. When I look back at it, three years later, I'm glad that we ended. If your bf went out on a date and kissed someone else, somethings wrong or he wouldn't have done it. I say move on and find someone who respects you and cares for your feelings a little more then that. It'll get better with time. Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 If your bf went out on a date and kissed someone else, somethings wrong or he wouldn't have done it. I say move on and find someone who respects you and cares for your feelings a little more then that. It'll get better with time. I couldn't agree more. Jenx, why in the world would you put yourself through such pain for someone whom you are not married to? Or even engaged to? You don't have anything to fix, dear. You do not have to make this work. You are free to move on and to find someone who will treat you nicely! You don't have to stay and put up with this guy's crap! For the life of me I can't understand why you'd even want to! Link to post Share on other sites
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