To stick it out or not?

[Nik.Nak]

Hi there,

 

I'm new to this community, as I've only posted one other thread before this. It was about how my PMS affects my relationship with my man and the responses were really helpful! My boyfriend and I have a complicated relationship as of the past year. We dated for nearly 2 years and we were inseparable. Maybe to an unhealthy point. But other than that we were solid.. our communication was great, our connection was great, trust was amazing etc.

When we met, he was moving back home from college and starting a new job. He saw this job as a stepping stone, only wanted to be there for a year and move on. Well that didn't happen, he stayed far too long. There were other goals of his that he wanted to accomplish soon after moving back and those seemed to fall by the wayside as well.

 

So all of a sudden he starts acting weird and gives me this big, emotional speech (tears were involved) about how the only thing he 's happy about in his life was our relationship but he thinks that it has distracted him from his other goals. So he said he needs to break up. He loves me, wants to marry me in the future, but he needs to get himself back on track and feeling satisfied with other areas of his life before we can move forward. He wanted to maintain a friendship ( as we were best friends too) and communication and hopefully get back together when things are better for him. I told him I would be here for him but why couldn't we just stay together through all this and he said he was scared he would neglect me.

 

So we broke up, maintained communication, he moved an hour away to the city, we hung out and had a platonic friendship and 3 months later the relationship stuff started naturally coming back to us. Fast forward to nearly a year later and we STILL haven't had the "lets make it official again" conversation although we do all the things an "official couple" does. The difficult part of all this is that he's gotten a new job, he's an hour away, he's much busier than he was before (when he lived close to me) and so we are lucky to see each other 2-3 times a week. Lately it's only been once a week and it's REALLY taking a toll on me.

 

Let me specify, I don't care so much about the title. What I care about is maintaining our relationship and making things work to the best of our abilities until it's the right time for me to move to the city (which have been in my plans for forever/ I'll be going to school there in the fall). But things are just so hard. He's busier than I am at the moment and I feel like I'm basically dangling myself in front of him going "hang out with me hang out with me!!" but he just has too much to do. I know I need to back off and let him come to me more, but I'm scared that if I let that happen we're going to fizzle out. He's a genuine guy and I know that as long as he's sticking this out along with me, he's serious about the relationship working out. He doesn't believe in dating someone that he's not serious about so I trust that he still has feelings for me but I also worry a lot.

 

I just want things to work out between us because I KNOW we have a solid foundation, it's just that our situation is very difficult right now and it's taking a toll on me.