Would you get married to a partner kmowing they can't have kids??

[877575]

If you wanted kids of your own (really bad), would you knowingly wed a partner that can't?

[Matilda]

Way back when, when I was dating, I broke up with a man I had been dating, and one of the reasons was because he had had a vasectomy, and I knew I wanted children. But, there were other reasons why I broke up with him too. I just don't think he was the guy for me.

 

I don't know, I think a lot would depend on the circumstances. If the guy was wonderful in every way, and that was the only problem, I think I would still marry him. Adoption or taking in foster children is a wonderful thing, so I think that would have fulfilled my dreams of having children. I had problems getting pregnant, and just before I finally did get pregnant, I had decided that I would just forget it and take in a foster child.

 

I think it's something that you should do a lot of soul searching about.

[moimeme]

I decided long ago to never have kids of my own. I was quite young when I saw a picture in a paper of a whole family of kids needing adopting because their parents had died. Perfectly good kids without a mom or dad So I figured if I were to have kids, I'd find some kids like that who were already on the planet but who needed homes. I never cared whether my own genes got propagated - poor kid would have needed braces and specs like coke bottles, anyway, if the ongoing genetic pattern continued.

 

For a while I was stepmom to four kids and that was great - we got along tremendously and had fun together - that they weren't my own kids didn't matter in the least. But I never was hit with the major need to have kids of any sort that other people get hit with. I'm fine either way.

[honey2005]

I agree, there's always adoption.

[loveregardless]

be able to have children, i know that this is hard for both you and the other person. I had an infection a few years back, that although my case was NOT related to an STD it is most often a result of an STD (PID)....and along with the severe psychological damage that it caused (thinking of myself as dirty and diseased when i wasn't, even the doctors made me feel this way until the test came back) , it may have also ravaged my fallopian tubes and ovaries. I am absolutely maternal in every aspect of the world, it would break my heart to not ever have children. My boyfreind and I have talked about it many times, and he knows that there is a great possibility that I may not be able to have children (on top of the fact that I may be infertile my fallopian tubes may be too damaged and that could lead to an ectopic pregnancy if any). He has decided that he loves me either way, and if it turns out that I can't have children, then we will try every alternative possible... I can understand if someone had made a deliberate choice say, to have a vasectomy or their tubes tied because they didn't want children, but if they can't have them...but they are the one you love...I don't think it should make or break the relaitonship...your children would need to be raised in an environment of true love above all else...and if it's true love then I would think that other options would at least be considered. There are lots of children who need good homes...they would be lucky to be in an environment where the couple truly WANTED them...I dunno...I suppose I'm biased on the subject

[katie79]

Granted, kids are a big issue, but if my partner couldn't have them, that would be fine with me. I wouldn't hold it against him, nor would I expect him to hold it against me if that was the case. No one should feel if they can't have kids, potential spouses will put them on the back-burner. We are humans, not clothes that didn't sell well that gets put in the 90%OFF Clearance Bin if we can't have children. Adopt or get a dog. A dog is enough. It's cute, stays cute, and you can leave for the night w/ your spouse without having to hire a babysitter.

[binturong]

No. Chances are that I would never pursue a relationship with a guy who didn't want kids or one who knew he couldn't have kids. Yes, there is adoption, but I want to go through the experience of pregnancy. OTOH, if after we got married, my husband found out he couldn't have kids, I wouldn't leave him and adoption would be an option. I just wouldn't choose to go that route if I was given the choice.

[greenlove]

Yes.

 

I truly love a man and I pretty sure he can't have kids, but then again I don't want kids at this time and if I change my mind in the future there are plenty of options.