TaraMaiden Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 Thanks... I want to do that. I think he will get lonely for me There are a couple cute guys who flirt with me. Maybe I'll go on a few dates. Good idea. but do this for the right reasons, not 'rebound' or 'revenge'. Get out and date, and enjoy life for yourself, not to make any kind of point. It actually doesn't hurt any to be on your own for a while. To be honest BOTH of us are doubtful he will meet a girl who will sleep with him. He is arrogant, unwashed and completely broke Oh yummy, sounds a real catch, I can't wait to meet him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 I totally want to get a reaction. I am the best thing that ever happened to this dude and he is going to blow it. he knows we are good for each other and doesn't want to let me go but he wants to "explore" because he is inexperienced I'm saying, well good for you but I can't handle that, hope you find someone whos a better fit (he wont) I'm also just considering ignoring him You are the best thing that happened to him - IN YOUR MIND. It's your ego talking. If he can't see you as the best thing in his life, he's not going to see it with a letter. And if he hasn't seen it after 4 months, it's obvious that he's not seeing what you are seeing. You know you are good for each other. He does not see that because he just wants sex. It's superficial to him. Projecting your thoughts on others is dangerous because you get caught up in your own mindgame only to realize at the end that your reality was completely different from theirs. He doesn't want to let you go because you're an easy opportunity to have sex, have the comfort of someone always there for him, attention, etc. Hanging on to you is not some big sign that he's going to be a broken man when you leave. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author youaremysunshine Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 Thats true, its really depressing that he doesn't appreciate me he was very, very lonely before meeting me. so I think if I'm out of his life he will be lonely again Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 It would be selfish of me to stay with you while you date other women. You deserve to fall in love, and you will someday. Uh, shouldn't this be the other way around? It's selfish of YOU to stay with him while HE dates other women....? Sounds incredibly selfless of you to me! Honestly, you don't have to be a jerk about things, but your message screams 'doormat'. I'd go with the suggestion on the previous page about just saying that you desire different things in a R (you monogamy, him polygamy), wish him well, and leave it at that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author youaremysunshine Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 I guess the point being that he keeps saying he wont get emotionally involved with these women and I'm saying he's missing a chance to fall in love then Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 I guess the point being that he keeps saying he wont get emotionally involved with these women and I'm saying he's missing a chance to fall in love then You should stop trying to tutor him on his love/sex life and let him do what he needs to do. Try to manage your own emotions and stir yourself away from someone that can't give you what you want. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author youaremysunshine Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 also I want your guyses opinion on this one He introduced me to his family AFTER telling me he wanted to screw other girls it makes no sense Link to post Share on other sites
Author youaremysunshine Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 but then again he maybe just wanted to show me off to his effed up family. he has 4 brothers who are ALL VIRGINS Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 also I want your guyses opinion on this one He introduced me to his family AFTER telling me he wanted to screw other girls it makes no sense An ex introduced me to his family but he was also cheating at the time and then left me for her. Meant nothing to him. Some people view introduction to the family as an important sign as to the level of commitment and progression of a relationship. People who are serious about their relationship and what it means to them, take their time and do it when they're ready to move to the next level. Some people just view it as introducing the girl I am hanging out with right now to the family. Link to post Share on other sites
Minneloa Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 You should stop trying to tutor him on his love/sex life and let him do what he needs to do. Try to manage your own emotions and stir yourself away from someone that can't give you what you want. OP, I imagine that this must be difficult to hear, but Zahara is giving you excellent advice in this thread. I urge you to consider carefully what she is saying, even if it is painful. I'm sorry that you are hurting. And I believe you deserve so much more than what this man is offering you. Sending good thoughts. M. Link to post Share on other sites
Author youaremysunshine Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 I want desperately to believe that he cares about me and his hesitance is natural at the 4 month mark I mean, I had many sex partners before I had a serious relationship. I really have been tutoring him sexually Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 And now he can use all that tutoring on other girls. Good for you for being so selfless. Either stop talking to him, or drop him a note that says, "We're done, don't contact me again." The whole "You deserve this" crap sounds manipulative and needy. It's not going to earn you any respect from him. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 but then again he maybe just wanted to show me off to his effed up family. he has 4 brothers who are ALL VIRGINS Honestly, his brothers sound like the better ones to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 I want desperately to believe that he cares about me and his hesitance is natural at the 4 month mark I mean, I had many sex partners before I had a serious relationship. I really have been tutoring him sexually What a lucky guy! A tutor to teach him how to have sex with other women. Seriously, Sunshine. This has doormat written all over it. You had many sex partners before you had a serious relationship? So what? He may go through 20 other women before he figures he wants to have a relationship. And what makes you think he's going to make a U-turn back to you after he done ploughing other women? I hate to be harsh but you're grasping at straws. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Minneloa Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 I want desperately to believe that he cares about me and his hesitance is natural at the 4 month mark I mean, I had many sex partners before I had a serious relationship. I really have been tutoring him sexually The way you phrase this indicates that you don't believe it, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Am4Real Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 Oh Lord, isn't that the truth! I think Ignoring him would be the absolute tops, and ideal choice. Fall off his radar and let him sink. Seriously. It's amazing at times, how much more silence conveys than all of the most carefully-thought out messages can. Link to post Share on other sites
Author youaremysunshine Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 Ok my plan is I go no-contact, no break up message? if after a week I don't here anything I'll send him a message saying thanks for the company but we want different things Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 Ok my plan is I go no-contact, no break up message? if after a week I don't here anything I'll send him a message saying thanks for the company but we want different things Sunshine, you weren't in a relationship. It was sex, then you wanted more and he said no. No need for break-up message as you weren't even exclusive. If after a week you don't hear, you keep going NC. He already knows you both want different things and you don't have to thank him for his company when it's not how you really feel. You're putting way too much thought and effort into someone that's probably lurking on other women as we speak. The man wants to have sex with others, please stop trying to extend him your courtesies. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 No, your plan is that you go No Contact, no break up message - And you never, ever contact him again, period!! Forget the "after a week" crap - No Contact, means exactly that!! N-O C-O-N-T-A-C-T!! Ever again!! Link to post Share on other sites
Minneloa Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 If after a week you don't hear, you keep going NC. This is the bottom line. OP, from what you have posted, there is really nothing more to say to this man. NC is your best option for healing and moving on now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author youaremysunshine Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 I never said: unless you argree to be exclusive, its over I expressed that I was unhappy with it but he reassured me he still wanted to be together etc and I dropped it upon parting we discussed plans to go to the art gallery together and engage in "pegging" (not at the same time!) If I just go NC he might be confused Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 here is want I was thinking. I don't want hurt his feeling and would date him again if he was ready to commit: Hey M I realized it would be selfish me to expect you to remain with me while you date other women, you have a soul and deserve to fall in love. And some woman will love you someday. You’ve been good company. I hope we can be friends. M Note on our first date I said he was different that other guy and he said it was because he has a soul I dont think you can remain friends with this person....he is not the one for you ....he will leave you and then come back ...and then leave.....and then come back.....and leave....gonna write a song about that one.......... i told you that i wanted you to stay, you told me other women were your way, i gave you my heart my soul but you still leave, to come back and once again deceive, my foolish heart , my broken spirit does not know what to do, leave me again lover and do it for real, i am through with you chorus dont you leave, dont you stay, you dont know what you want anyway, im too good, too good for you, leave again lover this time were through, im not scared anymore when you go, because theres a guy whose better around the corner you know...... lyrics unfinished........ a part finished song for you from me....just deb....best wishes.....again from....deb Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 I think you want to send an email a week later as some type of warning that he's losing you. "Hey Mr. X, I'm going, yes I am going now, you sure you want to lose me, this is your last chance because I am about to leave. Do you want me?" Please stop this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 Originally Posted by youaremysunshine ........If I just go NC he might be confused Fine. That's not your problem. If he's confused, tough schytt. Let him, who cares? Not you, you're not that kind of doormat, are you? Fer krissakes, have you actually paid any attention to anything we've said?? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author youaremysunshine Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 sorry, I am paying attention, I just hope he'll come around eventually so I feel like letting him know why I'm bailing is important yeah yeah I'm a door mat. interestingly he is very submissive sexually and likes me to insult him I should say other women? balls are mine, bitch Link to post Share on other sites
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