RomanceLow Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 I'm meeting up with my ex of four months ago in a couple of days. With this ex I had this chemistry that was unexplainable. This ex I honestly thought i'd marry. The problem with this ex is that he is the biggest slut I know. I knew that getting in the relationship. He liked me a lot, but like most military men they are addicted to sex and is easy for them to get it especially when they travel. My question I guess is what do I do with this feelings? Do I open up and share them with him. We are suppose to hang out as friends, and it is so early in the break up... I know i'm not over him and vice versa. What do I do? -RomanceLow Link to post Share on other sites
giopanipi Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 This is a very sensitive situation, but do you know why you're meeting up? who arranged to meet who first? And have you spoken at all during the four month break up? From personal experience you should NEVER become friends with ex boyfriends/girlfriends simply because it's not a friendship. Its just awkward and it will not work as friends. If you want to get back with him you need to make it clear that he has to control these 'urges' for sex whilst travelling. the best thing you can do is sit down and get it all off your chest. Perhaps he will understand and if he loves you enough he will be faithful. If he loves you enough to turn down 'easy sex' when he is with you then that's all you need to know. otherwise he's not worth it. Cheaters aren't worth the effort because at the end of the day there is always someone better out there for you. I wish you the best of luck my friend. giopanipi Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 I'm meeting up with my ex of four months ago in a couple of days. With this ex I had this chemistry that was unexplainable. This ex I honestly thought i'd marry. The problem with this ex is that he is the biggest slut I know. There's no need to refer to people in this way... it's degrading. He isn't the one-partner-one-life kind. And frankly, that's more a natural instinct than monogamy is... I knew that getting in the relationship. He liked me a lot, but like most military men they are addicted to sex and is easy for them to get it especially when they travel. Most military men are NOT addicted to sex. Men in the militia have to remain celibate for long periods of time, and men can be very sexual animals. But to say it's easy for them to get it, isn't correct - and frankly, there are military limitations on that kind of behaviour. But if a man is so inclined (as this guy seems to be) HE will get it wherever and whenever he can. But he is definitely NOT representative of 'Military Men'. My question I guess is what do I do with this feelings? Do I open up and share them with him. We are suppose to hang out as friends, and it is so early in the break up... I know i'm not over him and vice versa. What do I do? I suspect (although I may be wrong) that either he engineered the meet-up, or that he definitely readily agreed to it. Either way, to be perfectly blunt, I would cancel and back off. He will doubtless be looking for and steer you towards having sex with him. And you will be an easy conquest, because of how you feel about him. But he doesn't reciprocate the emotion - he likes sex, though.... If you still have feelings towards him, friendship is utterly impossible and unattainable, because you have too many lingering feelings to not want more. And he will play on this - or just have sex with you, because you seem to want that too..... Cancel, go No Contact and stay away from him. He cannot ever, and never will, be in a relationship with you and adhere to fidelity, or feel as deeply about you as you do about him. And this will shred your heart. Go to the link in my signature. The No Contact Guide is post #1. The remainder of the thread is also worth devouring, because it highlights the perils of breaking No Contact and the impossibility of remaining friends. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 (...that long, you think....? ) Link to post Share on other sites
Author RomanceLow Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 I actually initiated this meet up..I know i'm ridiculous. I had scheduled it for some reason, now i want to back out. But, i'd feel like a terrible person. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 Back out. Just send him a text: "Re: our intended meeting: Sorry, can't make it, something has come up." And leave it at that. Do not justify, explain or offer any excuse. Just back out, and resume No Contact. Ignore any attempt on his part to probe, or re-book. it's fine. A lot of people do it. A lot of them also back out, and breathe a sigh of relief. Those who DON'T back out - usually regret it. Link to post Share on other sites
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