Ex left me for another guy - Will she come back if i use NO CONTACT ?

[coldworld]

So i been dating this girl for 3 months (supposed to be 4 on 4/12/13) and I have fell in love with this girl within this time. I know people may say love doesn't happen that quick, but oh boy i felt it.. she felt it.. I know we love(d) each other. Everything was kisses and hearts for the first 3 months.. She lives in a different city so I have to take train to see her ($10 round trip)

 

I sacrificed almost all my weekends to see her ever since we started dating (12/12/12) I would meet her in the city and we would just spend our day with each other watching movies, going on walks, have nice conversations, making each other smile, saying how much we love each other.. none of that ever stopped.. i would sometimes sleep over at her house on the weekends. sometimes i would sneak out my house at midnight and take the train to see her because she told me she missed me and she wanted to see me. I would walk from the train station to her house for about 40 mins sometimes getting to her house around 1-2 ish.

 

We would always text each other 24/7.. it was always "i love you so much".. "i never wanna let you go".. we would talk on the phone late at night, i would call her every morning to wake her up for school.. She meant the world to me.. We also enjoyed the sex. She wasn't a virgin when i met her but that goes the same for me. We talked about past relationships a lot and how we both lost our virginity to our exs. We got to know each other so much.. The first time we had sex is when she came over to my house. She had the intention of having sex with me when she came here, so i could say she knew what she was doing. The first time with her was the most AMAZING thing for both of us. We felt the same way about her. This happened 8/10 times we slept at each others house. So you would think everything is good, "shes perfect", "shes the one". But getting to know someone means discovering their flaws.

 

She didn't have any major ones but the one that stuck out the most was OTHER GUYS. She always had lots of guy friends and lost some because they fell for her. She made me feel so special because when we met, we clicked and she had the same feelings towards me when i told her how i felt. I didn't think much of these "other guys" because i knew i was better than them.. they were just thirsty. So after dating for awhile she started talking to this new guy. She was over at her (girl)friends house and this "guy" wanted to pick them up with one of his friends. You're thing "Oh **** this guy is gonna rape these girls" But naaaaw it was just a friendly meetup. So i blew it off.. but it started happening more frequently..

 

She told me she doesn't like this guy and she loved me but silly me trusted her. As these "meetups" kept happening, she developed feelings for this guy but tells me she still loves me. I began to get blunt with her because i told her "im losing you.." it wasn't the same "i love you so much" conversation like it was in the beginning.. arguments started.. we never argued before.. they were mostly about this "other guy". Then we didnt talk to each other the same way like before.. So one day she tells me she wants to come over on a Friday. So she comes, i sneak her inside my room and shes not on my bed. "babe, we needa talk" happens. She tells me she wants to break up with me.. i was devastated.. she cried.. then i cried. I thought she was the one. She told me she needed some time to think about things.. we all heard that one before. But then she told me.. she wanted a break instead because she loves me too much to let go.

 

i was still pretty bummed out. We had sex that night.. and in the morning. I dropped her off at the train station. I thought that was the last time ill ever see the love of my life.. If you were any other guy, you wouldve probably dropped her when you found out she started hanging out with another guy.. But the thing is.. i didnt drop her.. i still belived in us and i STILL loved her.. I love her so much.. We kept contact(BAD IDEA) she told me her friend wanted her to not talk to me over this break but she told me she missed me so we still talked. I wanted her back.. so much.. and i still do. I asked how long this break was gonna last and she told me it just ended... so we were done.. I begged and cried for her to take me back but that obviously doesnt help the situation. The thing is, i ended up seeing her again.. the night she told me it was over. I took the train at 10 and went to her house. she told me she wanted to see me so i made it happen(by surprise)I slept at her house,(no sex) got breakfast with her, dropped her off at school and went home.

We still kept contact and the very next friday (4/12/13) was supposed to be the 4 month mark. She wanted to see me. We made plans the day before for me to come at night. I was so excited to see her.. i missed her so much. So when it was time for me to go, she ****ed me over and told me her "friend" was picking her up and said i should just come tomorrow instead. I was so mad.. I ended the night on a bad note. But then stupid me ends up seeing her the next day.

 

She kept hinting me that she wanted to have sex. She let me sleep at her house next to her in her bed.. that was the most happy i ever been in awhile. but we didnt end up having sex. We had plans that day but her (girl)friend ended up cock blocking.. so then i told her ill just drop her off at the train station. She kissed me goodbye. That was the last time i ever saw her.. Before, she kept telling me she loved me but she still likes this other guy. She broke up with me because she said she didn't wanna keep hurting me.. I still love her.. and i love her so much.. and i know theres still a spark between us.

 

If you ever felt the way that she made me feel, and the way i made her feel.. It was unreal.. She was my world.. and i was her everything. I know she will miss me.. but as long as she keeps seeing this other guy, nothing will change. Im probably the only dumbass in the world that would take her back after all she put me through. So i started NO CONTACT yesterday night.. i told her i hope hes worth it and i hope he makes you happy and loves you like i do. What should i do? Is NC gonna help me get her back or did i lose her for good to some other guy?

 

I know forsure she wont feel the same way she felt when she was with me. thanks ^_^ (ps. she DID NOT have sex with this other guy. Not that kind of girl)

Edited April 16, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
PARAGRAPHS.......

[Dragi3169]

Dude she doesn't deserve you. Anyone who's gonna leave you for another doesn't deserve your time. And let's say down the line she does take you back. Can you really trust that she won't do the same thing over again and again?

[Echo000]

i didnt read any of what you wrote.. i got all i needed in your title.

 

I just dont understand how anybody could want someone who left them for another guy..even if down the road she wanted u again, has the damage not been done? The images of her sleeping with this guy as you (no joke) are crying at home over her..the thought that she thought someone else was BETTER than you..etc. etc.

 

I just dont understand. That should fuel your desire to move on, not to want her back. Common man. Pride.

[atarisboy86]

Start NC as soon as possible OP.

 

She isn't worth your time. I just ended a two year on and off relationship where she left me twice (now three times) and hooked up with other guys right away...it's like she was bored and wanted to "play" and when they didn't work out she came back to the puppy dog at the end of her leash.

 

have dignity and move forward...you'll see there really are plenty of other girls that are more worthy of your time.

[Mcnulty]

Ex left me for my mate, 10 months later, he's a nutter and she ends it, she's poorly, I'm poorly, 6 months later, sexting, meet up, lovely day had, she shuts down on me, I shut down on her, I thought I was over her, sat next to her, looking at her and thought, wow, you are beautiful, but i can NEVER take you back...why? Because my mate's been inside her...end of. I was a mug...lesson learned....DO NOT TRY TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR EX, it will only end in more pain.

 

I was no contact for 10 months...she came back...to **** with my head bless her. She didn't mean to and I love her dearly, but the heartbreaking reality is...we can't be friends.

 

Move on and don't look back please.

[Chi townD]

Dude, the fact that she broke up from you to be with this "friend" should speak volumes to you. That she valued this "friend" sooooo much, that she's willing to lose you. Not him, YOU....

 

Oh, and that little thing you said about her not having sex with this "friend" because "she's not that kinda girl"? I don't buy that for a second. I bet you didn't think that, that kind of girl would break up with you for another guy....

[ThatJustHappened]

YOU DON'T "USE" NO CONTACT TO GET SOMEONE BACK!!! For eff's sake, READ THE NC GUIDE!

[KatZee]

Nope. She's not coming back, sorry. I know it's not what you want to hear but you need to learn the difference between lust/infatuation and TRUE love.

 

What she felt for you wasn't love. Love doesn't turn on and off, love most certain doesn't come around in a mere 3 months. You said it yourself, everything was wonderful and she made you feel amazing. That isn't love. Love isn't a feeling. Love is a choice you make to another person. Love is that choice you make after you've learned the good ALONG with the bad in that person. Love is the choice you make to stay with that person after going through ups and downs.

 

A person in love also doesn't go and dump you for one of your friends. She's only interested in what she wants. She's not particularly interested in being a decent person to you, and the fact that your friend is with her now doesn't make him much of a friend to you.

 

NC isn't used to get someone back. It's used to heal. Keep it moving.

[Jord11]

Thanks Katzee about the love part wow that made sooo much sense!