Mellow1 Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 He decided to email me and tell me that hes going through the same emotions but he feels like we have different perspectives and that he doesnt want to be in a relationship but want to be friends ... I feel like he cares but doesnt know what he wants, he apologize for being a dick and saying that making love was just for the moment but he meant to just let things be i honestly dont want to be there waiting to have another chance but I dont want him to think I dont care ... Does this no contact rule work in my case please I need help Link to post Share on other sites
cdt76 Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 He is trying to get rid of his guilt. Don't feed that! You don't want someone who isn't fully committed to you. NO CONTACT! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mellow1 Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 Thank you I need someone to snap me back to reality Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 He's feeding you breadcrumbs. Reaching out to you, to make himself feel better, not you. It's entirely for his benefit, to appease his own guilt and confusion. Block emails, delete his number off your 'phone and if possible, change your phone number(s). I will pre-empt your protests of "I can't change my phone numbers because...." With - "I was obliged to move countries - twice. I managed it. I'm sure you can." Link to post Share on other sites
Infnitysign Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 What are breadcrums Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 Check my No Contact Guide in my signature. It's all in there.... You would do well to read it, and take it all to heart - because it's the best thing you will ever read. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mellow1 Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 He cried when I told him im moving away ...he said in the email tha he a caring person he cant help it ... Is there still a chance or am I kidding myself Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 You're kidding yourself. because nothing in that email screamed he had made a mistake, that he wants you back and would do anything it takes to make this work. Crocodile tears. He's a caring person? Suuuure he is. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
iouaname Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 My ex is the King of Breadcrumbs, so take it from someone who has been experiencing a similar thing for four months now - do not respond. When my ex and I first broke up, he told me that he just needed time to figure things out and that he thought I was 'the one' and that we would most likely get back together. Looking back, I realize now that he told me all of this to ease himself out of the relationship. Then he wanted to be friends, and now, he doesn't want to speak at all. You right now are in a position where you can not respond and at least maintain your dignity and control over the situation. Keeping that will go a long way in helping you get over this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mellow1 Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 Thanks you guys please tell me more about your experience with this bs Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mellow1 Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 This is the whole message he sent me .... . I hope you have been well. I am sorry to have offended you the other day. I may have not worded and said what I wanted to say effectively and in the right manner because I was a bit upset. I was tearing up that day we were together because I am a caring person and always have been, I can't change that. I go through the same emotions that you go through, we just have our perspectives and thoughts that differ. Like you said, we have been spending because we both want to but at the same time I did feel pressured by you because you had told me please. I feel bad to let you down like that and don't want to have a guilty conscience. As for when I said just for the moment, what I really meant is what I had said prior, "letting things be". By that, I mean that I am not looking or thinking about getting into a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. I would like to stay in contact as a friendship Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 He cried when I told him im moving away ...he said in the email tha he a caring person he cant help it ... Is there still a chance or am I kidding myself "My relationship in short summary: High school sweethearts, connection since we first laid eyes on each other, I lied to him about being home one day when I was out shopping with my dad because I didnt want him to worry about what I was doing cause it wasnt important he took it to heart and thought something worse and decided to cheat on me and flirt with someone else 6 months into our relationship." He is so caring he decided to cheat and flirt with another while in a relationship with you. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 That says nothing at all, except, 'let's be friends' which is utter crap, because it's impossible. You can't be friends with someone you still have feelings for. And they want that, because it makes them feel better. Friendship after the break, is for the benefit of their feelings, not yours. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mellow1 Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 Yeah its the story of my life he worries alot so when I lied to him what I was doing in the middle of the day he took it to heart instead of him seeing that what he did hurt me he brought it back again last time we saw each other because I lied but I didnt deserve all of this he just being a dick I do want him back because I dont see our problems as bad as others but my only choice now is to ignore him Link to post Share on other sites
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