ArmyWife Posted September 17, 2004 Posted September 17, 2004 My husband was deployed to Kuwait in October 2002 and later on into Iraq with the infamous 3rd ID. I was so proud of my husband and what he was doing. I was his number 1 supporter. He was my Hero! Then finally in August 2003 he came home. I was elated. It was wonderful. Our family was reunited. We have 2 beautiful daughters, ages 13 and 8. Things couldn't have been better until the news I found out 3 weeks ago....... He had an affair in Kuwait before the war started and now he has a son that will be one in November. I don't know alot of details and they won't matter anyways. He is training in another state now and will be back in October. To make a long story short. How do I/We tell our daughters what is going on? Is anyone aware of a book or article on how to explain to your children that daddy has a new son, etc. etc.... Hopefully we can overcome this, I am extremely concerned how to handle this with our girls. All advice is greatly appreciated.
alicia24 Posted September 17, 2004 Posted September 17, 2004 Thats a shame. Like they say "a hard dick has no conscience" I am not really sure what to suggest, but I wish you the best of luck for the kid's sake. As for him, ship him back to Kuwait.
Moose Posted September 17, 2004 Posted September 17, 2004 Armywife, You sound more concerned on how your kids are going to deal with this new brother. How about you? You sound like you're not even upset that your husband slept with another woman! You should be more concerned that your children may grow up thinking that it's ok for mommies and daddies to sleep around on each other.
netrie Posted September 17, 2004 Posted September 17, 2004 Originally posted by ArmyWife I found out 3 weeks ago....... He had an affair in Kuwait before the war started and now he has a son TALK TO A THERAPIST BUT BE COMPASSIONATE IF YOU WANT TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE. LOVE IS MOST IMPORTANT AS LONG AS THERE IS NO ABUSE OF ANY KIND... THINGS HAPPEN IN LIFE AND NO ONE IS PERFECT. YOU SOUND VERY LEVEL-HEADED. BUT TELL ME HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE LITTLE BABY SON OF YOUR HUSBAND? WHAT ARE YOUR FEELINGS TOWARDS YOUR HUSBAND NOW?
Author ArmyWife Posted September 17, 2004 Author Posted September 17, 2004 that's exactly why I need advice on how to discuss this with my girls. I don't want them to grow up thinking this is ok. I don't want them to ever have to experience what I am going through. I love my husband (some days more than others). I have faith that we will be ok. I am just very concerned how this is going to affect them. On my feelings about the little war baby. I am torn between emotions. I hope that baby D has a good mother and I hope that my husband will step up to the plate and do the best he can do. At the moment he thinks that child support is all he has to do. I pray he seeks help with his issues as I am doing. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with and don't wish this on anyone. He will be returning to Kuwait/Iraq in January and I will have to learn to deal with that also. Please keep posting, advice is much appreciated.
netrie Posted September 17, 2004 Posted September 17, 2004 Originally posted by ArmyWife ...how to discuss this with my girls. I don't want them to grow up thinking this is ok. I don't want them to ever have to experience what I am going through... I am just very concerned how this is going to affect them. On my feelings about the little war baby. I am torn between emotions. Oh. Don't worry so much about that. Kids will only react accordingly to how mom and dad handle this. Be calm. Kids are very resilient with lots of love around them. Teach them to love the baby. Include them... We parents cannot keep our kids from "feeling" the worlds craziness, and many surprises. This little war baby is so innocent. I vote to include the girls in MINIMAL discussion about the little baby. I don't think they need to know that "daddy had an affair" necessarily. In fact, you might want to talk to a professional child psychologist BEFORE you take any of our advice... Please do that first! You are a special lady to have such a big heart and forgive your husband. The woman is the "manager" of the family and the heart of the whole family. Your family is lucky to have you----Your husband must love you more than ever. Netalia
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