What does the bible say on Dating/Relationships?

[LindaSmiley]

When you are dating do the same rules of marriage apply to the relationship? What rules should you follow?

[pie2]

When you are dating do the same rules of marriage apply to the relationship?

 

In Christianity, the bible says that people in a marriage have a different relationship than people who are dating; certain things are permissible in marriage that aren't in dating.

 

What rules should you follow?

 

What are your religious beliefs?

 

If you are Christian, the most important rules are to love God first, and to love your neighbor as yourself. When a Christian believer dates, it's usually to find a partner for life. This site offers a great explanation.

 

A marriage based on Christian principles is much different than a dating relationship. You can read more about that here.

[elplague]

Don't have sex or be intimate. Don't, also, lust over your partner, because it's a sin. The thought police always know if you're doing it, so don't!

[BetheButterfly]

If you are Christian, the most important rules are to love God first, and to love your neighbor as yourself. When a Christian believer dates, it's usually to find a partner for life. This site offers a great explanation.

 

A marriage based on Christian principles is much different than a dating relationship. You can read more about that here.

 

100% agree!

 

Also, in ancient times, dating did not exist for the Jewish people. Rather, parents tended to choose their future daughter or son-in-law. This is not, in my opinion, mandated by God however, but was rather a social custom.

 

Nowadays Christians can glean from the Bible to learn what qualities they would like in both themselves and in their prospective mate, as well as how to live together as soulmates and a team and have a wonderful relationship based on God's amazing love! A book I recommend is When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy. I absolutely LOVE this book and it helped me prepare for meeting my husband.

[BetheButterfly]

. Don't, also, lust over your partner, because it's a sin.

 

Biblical reference? Thanks

[M30USA]

Biblical reference? Thanks

 

I sensed sarcasm in his comment.

[elplague]

Biblical reference? Thanks

 

Colossians 3:5

Matthew 5:28

Galatians 5:19-21

1 Peter 2:11

 

You can't be serious in asking this question, since lust is very aptly described in the dictators big red book of no nos and don't dos.

[BetheButterfly]

I sensed sarcasm in his comment.

 

If true, I "sin" by "lusting" after my husband everyday!!!

 

Now, I know Jesus said, "27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’[e] 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

Matthew 5 NIV - Introduction to the Sermon on the Mount - Bible Gateway

 

1 100% agree that if my husband looked at another woman with lust, that this would be heart adultery. Even though not specifically stated, I believe it's the same with me... if I looked with lust at a man who is not my husband (which is every male except my husband), that I would be committing heart adultery.

 

I think that's one reason why porn is not acceptable for a child of God.

 

While Jesus does not specify "you can lust after your wife" the Jewish people he was talking to would of course understand that sexual desire in for one's wife is ok. There is no where in Scripture where Adam for example, is sinning by sexually desiring Eve and Jesus reaffirms God's foundation for marriage:

 

Matthew 19 NIV - Divorce - When Jesus had finished - Bible Gateway

"When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. 2 Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. 3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’[Gen. 1:27] 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’[Gen. 2:24]? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

 

 

 

Sex, which begins with sexual desire, is a beautiful physical pictures of how the two become one flesh!!!

[BetheButterfly]

Colossians 3:5

Matthew 5:28

Galatians 5:19-21

1 Peter 2:11

 

None of these have anything to do with marriage, but rather with illicit sexual relations:

 

Colossians 3:5, Matthew 5:28, Galatians 5:19-21, 1 Peter 2:11 NIV - Put to death, therefore, whatever - Bible Gateway

Colossians 3:5

 

New International Version (NIV)

 

5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.

 

 

Matthew 5:28

 

New International Version (NIV)

 

28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

 

 

Galatians 5:19-21

 

New International Version (NIV)

 

19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

 

 

1 Peter 2:11

 

New International Version (NIV)

 

 

11 Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul.

 

You can't be serious in asking this question, since lust is very aptly described in the dictators big red book of no nos and don't dos

I am very serious in asking this question, because I am a Christian and am growing in obeying Jesus' commands.

 

However, the Bible passages you give do not say that a person cannot lust (sexually desire) after one's own husband or wife. Rather, common sense helps people see that Jesus and Jesus' followers are talking about to not lust after someone who is not one's husband or wife. It is not adultery if a husband and wife who are married to each other (not to anybody else) are having sex.

Edited April 18, 2013 by BetheButterfly

[elplague]

Note: Husband or Wife, not dating partner. In the eyes of your god, that is NOT the same thing. The OP was questioning dating and relationships, not marriage.

[BetheButterfly]

Note: Husband or Wife, not dating partner. In the eyes of your god, that is NOT the same thing. The OP was questioning dating and relationships, not marriage.

 

The Bible promotes marriage. Marriage is most definitely a relationship. My husband and I can testify to this... as "one flesh"

 

Before marriage, we dated. Our parents did not do what was the tradition of a long time ago including in the days when the books of the Bible were written; they weren't our matchmakers nor did they hire a matchmaker.

 

Thankfully though, our parents did approve of our choice, though my husband's Mom passed away years before I married her son. My hubby believes though that his Mom would love and approve of me, which is very important to me.

Edited April 18, 2013 by BetheButterfly

[elplague]

The Bible promotes marriage. Marriage is most definitely a relationship. My husband and I can testify to this... as "one flesh"

 

Before marriage, we dated. Our parents did not do what was the tradition of a long time ago including in the days when the books of the Bible were written; they weren't our matchmakers nor did they hire a matchmaker.

 

Thankfully though, our parents did approve of our choice, though my husband's Mom passed away years before I married her son. My hubby believes though that his Mom would love and approve of me, which is very important to me.

 

What does this have to do with the OP's question, and my statement and retort on biblical reference?

 

I don't care what the bible promotes. Fact is, it "promotes" marriage but does not recognize unions outside of marriage. Hence, my points stand unrefuted. The bible claims that you cannot covet your neighbors wife. It also claims you cannot look at a woman with lust, which is a deadly sin. Thus, if you are not married, and lust over each other, you are in breach of the celestial contract.

 

It says it, in black and white, plain english.

[taiko]

When you are dating do the same rules of marriage apply to the relationship? What rules should you follow?

It depends. Are dates like a high school prom is, or used to be, an educational experience? Then no, not all the rules.

 

Or are dates just the first step in the marriage process of your culture? If the later then everything including being equally yoked apply. And thus you should not be dating anyone who you do not see as your future mate

[BetheButterfly]

What does this have to do with the OP's question, and my statement and retort on biblical reference?

 

I don't care what the bible promotes

 

The OP is asking about what the Bible says about dating/relationships. While you obviously do not care what the Bible promotes, it is possible the OP does. I do care what the Bible promotes.

 

Since you don't care what the Bible promotes, why argue with someone who does care about the Bible in a thread about what the Bible says about dating/relationships?

 

I care about what the Bible says about dating/relationships and am in a wonderful relationship that is founded on the Bible.

 

Fact is, it "promotes" marriage

Very true.

 

but does not recognize unions outside of marriage. Hence, my points stand unrefuted. The bible claims that you cannot covet your neighbors wife. It also claims you cannot look at a woman with lust, which is a deadly sin. Thus, if you are not married, and lust over each other, you are in breach of the celestial contract.

 

It says it, in black and white, plain english.

Ahh... I did not realize you meant partners that are not married.

 

I personally consider my husband my partner, and he considers me his parnter.

 

OP, it is true that according to the Bible, it is very important to be pure and to not have sexual intercourse with a person with whom you are not married.

 

Now, my husband and I sinned by having sex before marriage, but we asked God for forgiveness and He forgave us! We took a premarital course at our church which includes a Bible study. I would recommend that, if you are interested in what the Bible says about dating/relationships.

 

Although the Bible doesn't say anything about dating, marriage is a relationship the Bible promotes!

[BetheButterfly]

It depends. Are dates like a high school prom is, or used to be, an educational experience? Then no, not all the rules.

 

Or are dates just the first step in the marriage process of your culture? If the later then everything including being equally yoked apply. And thus you should not be dating anyone who you do not see as your future mate

 

Agreed.

 

LindaSmiley, the following passage can be applied as a "rule" in a way for dating: (which is why many Christian people date: to find the person with whom they want to become "one flesh.")

 

Hebrews 13 NIV - Concluding Exhortations - Keep on - Bible Gateway

4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. 5 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,

“Never will I leave you;

never will I forsake you.”[a]

 

 

When my husband and I, before we got married, understood how important it is to not make love again until after we promised faithfulness to each other, we decided to wait until our honeymoon to make love again. Neither of us have regretted it.

 

Also, I included the money thing because some people are so into money and dates really don't need to be all that expensive. Some of my favorite dates with my husband before we got married were simply going on walks, to the gym, and to free church activities/concerts!

 

When in the relationship of marriage, it's important as well to not cheat (commit adultery), and also since finances can be one of the main reasons for marital discord, it's important to not focus so much on money, though it's important to work hard and well and be responsible as a team!

[BetheButterfly]

Note: Husband or Wife, not dating partner. In the eyes of your god, that is NOT the same thing. The OP was questioning dating and relationships, not marriage.

 

I am sorry. I didn't realize you were not talking about marriage. My husband is my partner, and I am his partner. Marriage is a relationship between the people married to each other. My relationship with my husband is very important to me, and i know his relationship with me is very important to him.

 

Blessings, and in the eyes of my God, the ideal is for a man and woman to be one flesh. I am so grateful to my God for my husband, who I dated and with whom I have a relationship that is in the form of marriage.

[angel.eyes]

When you are dating do the same rules of marriage apply to the relationship?

No, Linda. The rules are different.

 

When you are married, you are one in God's eyes with your spouse. There are a number of passages that detail what a Christ-centered marriage looks like.

 

Dating is a way to get to know different people better as well as to figure out what you value and need in a partner, sometimes with an eye to marriage. Your reasons for dating will depend in part on where you are in your life.

 

You are two separate individuals while dating. While the Bible doesn't specifically address dating, it does describe certain activities that are intended solely to be within the confines of a marital relationship.

 

What rules should you follow?

If you are a Christian, read the Bible carefully and follow what your heart tells you God's Word instructs us to do.