Questions on The Wait-Out

[JimmyB26]

I'm almost done with my second of three years of law school. I'm an older student, mature, established, going on scholarship, at the top of my class. About a month ago the school held an admitted student evening for the students considering matriculating in the fall. I attended and towards the end strolled up to a beautiful young college senior, who was there with a guy. Susan we'll call her. Susan never introduces him as anything more than a "plus-one," so I keep it professional. I offer her some advice about the following year, we have a long ranging conversation, the three of us, and I showcase my personality. She told me I gave her the best advice of the night. I give her my card and tell her that I hope to see her in August and think nothing of it. I had a date to get to anyway.

 

Three days later, I get a text on my phone from Susan. She asks me a random question that there was really no point in asking other than purely to open communication. I answered it, and then waited a day, and started flirting to test the waters. She's receptive. We texted again later that week. Make plans to get a drink the following week. Continue having long, late-into-the-night flirtatious conversations. She's asking me questions, calling me an incredible smooth-talker, wanting to know all about me. She finds out that my summer firm job is only a short distance away from where her family's cabin will be and starts talking about the summer and how much I'll get along with her siblings. She invites me on Snapchat, she sends me pictures. It's going in that direction.

 

A day before we're supposed to have drinks she cancels on me, said she had to take an extra shift for work, which she'd warned me ahead of time she might have to do. She asked me for a raincheck and then later kept on asking me to take her up on the raincheck the following week. We make plans again, and then she tells me that for the past year she's been breaking up and making up with the guy she introduced me to, and he just made her promise to give it one last real try, and she agreed, and she'd feel bad if she went out with another guy two days later. I was charming and graceful about it, and we just continued texting. Then she asked me to call her and we talked for an hour.

 

The next day, two days after we were supposed to go out, she says she's about a block from the law school in the afternoon, and if I'm free, I could stop by and see her. So I go. She buys me two beers and we talk for about 3 hours, and we're really enjoying each other's company, even holding hands a little bit. She gives me more details on the break-up rollercoaster, and it sounds like he wants it more than she does. She says she's told him that we were talking - though not everything. Anyway, I walk her out, and he strolls up to take her out for the night. We shake hands, and they're off.

 

I get texts from her apologizing if it was awkward, and I take it gracefully. Then I got a couple of Snapchats from her that night, nothing untoward, just cute pics. Then later on, stuff like "I like you a lot more than I want to :-/" and "I'm anxious to see you again" and "I think you are very rare" and we vaguely set up something for the following week. The next day I shoot her a text that I was buying stuff for my apartment for the summer and "thinking about nights on the balcony with drinks, music, and awesome company." The next day she asks me to call her and won't tell me why.

 

I call her, and she essentially says that while she's figuring out her situation right now, she doesn't think it's the right time to be talking to someone else. I play along. I empathize, and agree that I should give her the space she wants. She thanks me, and says she'll see me "at least in August."

 

Let me address the moral critics right now:

1. If she hadn't told me that they'd been breaking up and making up for a year, I wouldn't have done ANYTHING. As it is, I let her lead most of the time.

2. I didn't and don't want a rebound with her. I have finals coming up anyway and while I alluded to some summer fun, I thought it would give her the necessary time to finalize her decision and start the healing process.

3. He's done making her happy. He made her promise to try one last time. Yes all three of us are being selfish in different ways, but he's the only one trying to hold someone back out of guilt or whatever it is that he's pulling who obviously isn't getting what she needs out of the relationship. Even if she wasn't with me, this young woman is about to take on the world and is impressive enough to do it and bust out of this dead-end relationship, and this guy is dead weight holding her back because he probably knows he'll never land someone like her again.

 

I've stepped back. I've given her the space that she needs and that she wants. I'm pursuing other women and plan to have a very fun summer and at the very least I'll see her again in August. Flirtation or not, she ultimately proved to be a class act and did the right thing.

 

Here are my questions:

1. Have I set myself up and made enough of an impression to be the guy she calls on when this inevitably ends and she's ready for something new?

2. Would she go as far as to delete my number, lose my card, and give up any way to contact me so as to avoid temptation, or will she keep me in her phone and just not use it until she's ready?

 

Ultimately I know I cannot and should not force anything with her now or put any pressure on her. I just want to set myself up as the guy she's clamoring for next.