Girlfriend Blackout Drunk and Makes Out With Another Guy While Im There

[Younever know]

So the other weekend I go out to the bar with a bunch of people, including my girlfriend, who I've been dating for 6 months. I wasn't drinking that much, but my girlfriend had pre drank with a couple of her friends at their house before coming to the bar. And I know that she was already pretty wasted when she got there.

 

So I see her and we talk etc everything's fine, she's just really drunk. And then she goes to talk to her friends and I stay with mine. We're on opposite sides of the bar. Some time goes by, and I go check out where she's at, and she's on the dance floor with her girl friends. Just dancing with her girlfriends. I'm really not at her level (not that drunk) at that time so I quickly say hey, and then go back to talk to my friends.

 

Next thing I know, one of my friends comes over and tells me that she is dancing with a guy and was kissing him. I don't know for how long, but I know more of a make-out than just a kiss.

 

So I go over to find her, and she's at the bar with her friends getting drinks. I confront her about dancing and kissing another guy. (At this point she's so drunk she's falling over on me) and she says to me that "I don't know, im just really drunk, I don't know how to explain it. I'm really into you."

 

I turn around, get her a water, walk away, and leave her with her friends.

 

I don't talk to her until the next day when she calls me after she wakes up. Saying that her friends told her what happened, and that she doesn't remember any of it. And how sorry she is, and how that's not like her at all. That she would never do that and is so sorry.

 

I just don't know what to do. I know that she's never done anything like this before, and I know that she is sincerely sorry for what happened. She says that anything that she can do, make sure she never drinks that much again, etc, she will do.

 

I just don't know if I can trust her again.

 

I mean the thing about it that doesn't even make sense to me, is that I was at the bar the entire time. Like it's not even the same as cheating. Cheating is behind someones back. Not that it's any better. But the fact that I was there makes me want to believe more that she didn't know what she was doing, you know?

And the whole night before anything happened she was really happy to see me anytime we interacted. The opposite of mad or anything like that. Like I'm sure she didn't do it out of jealousy or anger or anything like that is what I'm trying to say.

 

 

If anyone could please give me some advice on what to do. I really love her, and I want to forgive her. But can I trust her again? Please help..

[USMCHokie]

How old is she...?

[Younever know]

she's 21 and I'm 22.

[TaraMaiden]

Under-age drinking isn't allowed. Is it?

 

And what kind of an idiot BF are you to neglect her in that way, and not take her home? Why didn't you take the matter in hand? If she was drunk before she even got there, WTF were you thinking to let her go so far - ?!?

 

Jeesh, what a pair.....

[USMCHokie]

she's 21 and I'm 22.

 

I guess those are the joys of dating a 21 year old...?

 

She is probably still basking in the amount of male attention she receives outside of yours, which is only exacerbated by alcohol. Don't be surprised that this behavior will be repeated, and don't be surprised if she reacts with hostility if you try to "take care of her."

[TaraMaiden]

I'm in 2 minds about this:

 

Either you deserve each other, because you both behaved like irresponsible idiots, or you need to break up with her, because having a girlfriend who's a lush and who behaves that way when she's out with you, is bad news.

 

In any case, let this be a lesson to you:

Excessive drinking makes for ugly people, and ugly situations.

It's not clever, it's not healthy and just because you're among friends, it doesn't make it safe.

[Younever know]

Under-age drinking isn't allowed. Is it?

 

And what kind of an idiot BF are you to neglect her in that way, and not take her home? Why didn't you take the matter in hand? If she was drunk before she even got there, WTF were you thinking to let her go so far - ?!?

 

Jeesh, what a pair.....

 

First of all I'm not going to get mad at my girlfriend for getting drunk with her friends. Not that I like how drunk she was, but I'm not going to get mad at her for being drunk at a bar with her friends. She was drunk from the beginning, but she was with her friends and she was ok. If she was getting to the point where she was sick, etc of course I would have "taken the matter in hand" and stepped in. I didn't think I should just send her home or something just because she was drunk and having a good time with her friends.

 

Second of all I wasn't neglecting her. She came with her friends and was going home with her friends. We don't live together. And shortly after it happened and I talked to her, her friends took her home.

[WhoreyBull]

I've done both the blackout drunk accidentally, and blackout drunk because I have issues stupid decision scenarios.

Both involve not knowing my limits... Cause mine is zero like a lot of the time

She is a young inexperienced drinker. She screwed up.

But... I kinda think you could have watched your drunk girlfriend to make sure she didn't drink more instead of leaving her with a bunch of drunk dancing girls... Just saying.

[TaraMaiden]

If she was drunk when she got there, the bar staff should never have served her.

 

WTF is it with young people today who believe the only way to go out and have fun is to involve large amounts of alcohol?

Ferphukk's sake, get your lives on track!

 

The damage you do to your livers!

 

Doesn't show now, but in 5 years time, hers will be green and her skin will be 30 years older than she is!

 

It makes me so angry.

And nothing you can say, will justify what you do.

I have seen the after-effects of excessive drinking, in all manner shapes and forms and it's ugly, undignified and pitiful.

 

It's disgusting.

[Younever know]

I've done both the blackout drunk accidentally, and blackout drunk because I have issues stupid decision scenarios.

Both involve not knowing my limits... Cause mine is zero like a lot of the time

She is a young inexperienced drinker. She screwed up.

But... I kinda think you could have watched your drunk girlfriend to make sure she didn't drink more instead of leaving her with a bunch of drunk dancing girls... Just saying.

 

I know. I'm not saying it's not my fault as well. I know that there are things I could have done from the beginning of that night that would ultimately have prevented anything from happening. But there's nothing I can do about that now.

 

All I can do now is move forward, and what I have to figure out is if I can trust her in the future? If what happened was just an honest mistake, and if I should try to move on.. If I should trust her.

 

I don't really know what to do..

[Younever know]

If she was drunk when she got there, the bar staff should never have served her.

 

WTF is it with young people today who believe the only way to go out and have fun is to involve large amounts of alcohol?

Ferphukk's sake, get your lives on track!

 

The damage you do to your livers!

 

Doesn't show now, but in 5 years time, hers will be green and her skin will be 30 years older than she is!

 

It makes me so angry.

And nothing you can say, will justify what you do.

I have seen the after-effects of excessive drinking, in all manner shapes and forms and it's ugly, undignified and pitiful.

 

It's disgusting.

 

Holy, I just wanted some friendly advice on dealing with this relationship. I don't need someone lecturing me about drinking. We're not alcoholics, everyone goes out once in a while and drinks, and everyone has those one or two nights where they go a bit past their limit. Lay off a bit. This was just one of those times.

 

I just wanted some advice on how to deal with the situation with the relationship.

[TaraMaiden]

What is it YOU want to do?

 

Because I think you should talk to her - not only about her behaviour, but what led up to it - the crazy drinking.

 

You could kill two birds with one stone here.

Tell her she overstepped the boundary of GF behaviour by making out with this guy, AND she acted kind of really dumb socially, by looking like a drunk, and it makes you sad that she gets that uncontrollable.

 

Alcohol loosens inhibitions, but it doesn't change your character.

 

Remember that.

[NervisPervis]

I mean the thing about it that doesn't even make sense to me, is that I was at the bar the entire time. Like it's not even the same as cheating. Cheating is behind someones back. Not that it's any better. But the fact that I was there makes me want to believe more that she didn't know what she was doing, you know?

 

Wanna' hear MY take? She's so used to guys approaching her on the dance floor and kissing them that rote reflex kicked in. I'll bet it's not the first time it's happened.

[Joaquin]

Was she upset u bailed on her to hang with your mates in a nightclub and this is her way of saying f u. Pull that **** on me. Come on a night out and piss off with bros like I'm here just to screw at the end of the night. Or maybe she really wasn't thinking at all.

 

Gd bfs don't piss off on their drunk gfs. They make sure that they are ok and not in harm's way.

[WhoreyBull]

I know. I'm not saying it's not my fault as well. I know that there are things I could have done from the beginning of that night that would ultimately have prevented anything from happening. But there's nothing I can do about that now.

 

All I can do now is move forward, and what I have to figure out is if I can trust her in the future? If what happened was just an honest mistake, and if I should try to move on.. If I should trust her.

 

I don't really know what to do..

Either way talk to her about her drinking. Tell her how it concerned you and embarrassed the both of you. How she did things she didn't remember with some guy, and what if next time it's a rapist or someone who will beat her... or worse. She really has to know that whether or not you stay together.

It's up to you if your feelings for her are enough to let her have another go, and it it's healthy for you to do so. You might want to ask around if this is a common occurrence (the drinking to excess with girlfriends). Does she seem remorseful?

Edited April 18, 2013 by WhoreyBull

[Chi townD]

I think Tara Might have scared him off!

 

Well, my take on it. You're young and stupid stuff happened. Drinking is never an excuse for bad behavior. But, let me ask you this, if the situation was reversed and you were the one on the dance floor making out with some girl, would SHE be so understanding? Doubt it. Would she accept that you were black out drunk as a VIABLE excuse? Doubt that too.

 

I'd be willing to bet that she would want nothing to do with you.

[TaraMaiden]

No.... he replied to my bitch-post.....

 

The more gentle approach I came back with, wouldn't scare him off....

 

 

 

Would it?

 

Or you mean, my gentle approach scared him off......?

 

 

[drifter777]

Why are you so concerned about this? Most 21 year-old girls are DTF and nowhere near ready to settle down. You should be out enjoying the single life yourself and not worrying about what to do with this.

[hppr]

If you really like her then give her another shot but make it clear you can't date a fall-down drunk. Doubt she'll change though, you'll be back here talking about episode #2 in no time, only it'll be that you caught her f***ing another dude.

I know she is probably super nice when she is sober and the girl next door but at the end of the day she is a party girl. You are not going to change her.

 

Yeap, you'll be driving her to her DUI/NA meetings in no time lol. People who are drunks/addicts don't make good friends there's no getting around it.

[hppr]

Well, my take on it. You're young and stupid stuff happened. Drinking is never an excuse for bad behavior. But, let me ask you this, if the situation was reversed and you were the one on the dance floor making out with some girl, would SHE be so understanding? Doubt it. Would she accept that you were black out drunk as a VIABLE excuse? Doubt that too.

 

 

Exactly. Tons of women posters will tell this guy it's his fault, he's a wuss, he left her there whatever, but if it was their man kissing another girl the gloves would come off and he'd get the Muhammad Ali left-right-left lol...

[coltsfan1]

Honestly man... you are 22... just ditch her into the curve and get a decent lady... if she makes out with other guys when you are in the same room I don't even want to think what she does when you are not around! Drinking is not a excuse.. if you can't control yourself when drinking then DON'T DRINK! ...

 

Listen to this advice. Just move on, this instance shows a lack of character (due to immaturity) on her part. It also says she have no respect for you two's relationship, this is also due to immaturity. This is only the beginning......

[carson22]

I mean the thing about it that doesn't even make sense to me, is that I was at the bar the entire time. Like it's not even the same as cheating. Cheating is behind someones back. Not that it's any better. But the fact that I was there makes me want to believe more that she didn't know what she was doing, you know?

And the whole night before anything happened she was really happy to see me anytime we interacted. The opposite of mad or anything like that. Like I'm sure she didn't do it out of jealousy or anger or anything like that is what I'm trying to say.

 

 

If anyone could please give me some advice on what to do. I really love her, and I want to forgive her. But can I trust her again? Please help..

 

Ahhh so alcohol is the easy way out. I'm sure if she was on her hands a knees with some guys man yogurt in her mouth, and she was drunk, that would be fine. I mean, she was drunk, and she did it in front of you!

 

Pull your head out of your ass and man up! Grow some balls and leave her!

 

Oh and she was probably showering you with affection the night before because she just got back from being banged by some college guy and felt guilty about it.

 

I know it's harsh, but I don't care.

[chucksagent]

Having a girlfriend in college is the DUMBEST thing IN THE WORLD!!! And if you aren't in college, you're still between the ages of 20 and 23, which is the SECOND dumbest thing in the world (having a girlfriend between these ages).

 

I know it's tough at your age man to have some perspective, but take it from someone who has been at that bar with his buddies....I specifically DID NOT have a girlfriend back then because I couldn't tolerate having a girl who got black out drunk all the time. Don't put yourself through that paint.

 

People aren't ready for serious commitment at your age. And do you know why? Because when you really love someone, you WON'T get blackout drunk because you KNOW it could lead to trouble and bad situations. Human beings are NOT PERFECT; which is why the key to success in fidelity is to NOT put yourself in bad situations. =Don't flirt with that co-worker =don't poke that hot chick you knew in high school = don't text some girl from the gym even "as friend" = don't get hammered at a bar, only have a few drinks, etc. It's called respect.

[ali_g]

Under-age drinking isn't allowed. Is it?

 

And what kind of an idiot BF are you to neglect her in that way, and not take her home? Why didn't you take the matter in hand? If she was drunk before she even got there, WTF were you thinking to let her go so far - ?!?

 

Jeesh, what a pair.....

 

LOL all of a sudden its the bfs fault that he's got an idiot gf who needs taking care of.... ah such is life.

 

OP. Please go to a bar and do the same and blame your girl for not taking care of you.

 

... Obviously break up with your girl. Cut your losses short son.

[love1336x]

I dunno why everyone here is so po about drinking.

People get drunk.get over it!!

 

Now for you, when you are drunk you tend to do stupid crap.

I say forgive but if she keeps her b.s then drop its that simple.