Leegh Posted April 18, 2013 Share Posted April 18, 2013 I have a sister who is a narcissist. She has a constant over-reach into my life, and other people's lives, and has no boundries. She will say and do anything with no respect for anyone. I, myself, have had to be more of a "tough" person around her to protect myself. Do narcissists ever change? I'm asking this because I may want to make peace with her down the road, and if she "softens" at least somewhat then we can hopefully have some type of sisterly relationship. Do narcissists, just due to natural aging, perhaps, become calmer with age? I sure hope so, but I want honest answers. Would love to hear about your experiences with narcissists or what knowledge you have about them? Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted April 18, 2013 Share Posted April 18, 2013 Well, i don't know about this stuff but i do know 2 things : - ppl never change unless there is incentive for them to change; why incentive might have a positive connotation, it actually means ... the need for change must outweigh the resistance for change - narcissists live in their own little world, and for them everyone else must gravitate around them So, if your sister is indeed a narcissist, i honestly doubt she has change in her future, unless a huge life-changing event that she can't reconcile happens to her, and she opens herself up to change/constructive criticism. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
tbf Posted April 18, 2013 Share Posted April 18, 2013 There are all kinds of people who don't respect other people's boundaries. This doesn't mean they're narcissists, specifically individuals who have NPD. As far as NPD, it's possible to ameliorate symptoms through therapy but there's no cure. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
El Brujo Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 No, narcissists do not mellow. They get old and bitter, and they eventually die feeling gypped. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 Mellow? No. They go through cycles where they seem better but then something sets them off and they go back to how they were. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
pcplod Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 Goodness gracious! No! Never. They aren't ever closer to the "grace of God" because they are God. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Calvin's wagon Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 Hi! I'm sorry to hear this and I hope you will heal&protect yourself as much as possible! I'd like to recommend you to read a book called Toxic Parents by Susan Forward (you can read in PDF online if you google it - if you can't find the download, PM me). It helped me immensely not only to set boundaries with my parents, but also with my sibling and other people, and to start letting go of the past. There are also some other books I'd recommend, if you're interested. And I think these two things might be sth you need with her, regardless of her diagnosis: - how to deal with her past behaviour (to let go of the past) - how to protect yourself now& in the future by setting boundaries! Like others have said, has she been diagnosed with narcissism? I'd also recommend talking to a therapist about this, even if for just one sessions. Or at least checking out if there are any pro bono psychotherapy services available, or any support groups for family abuse etc., both for advice and for sources of more info (maybe in a local bookshop etc.) about narcissists etc.? I'd also like to ask, if I may: - what is your relationship like with your parents? - what is her relationship with your parents? Best wishes and hope to hear from you soon! Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted April 24, 2013 Share Posted April 24, 2013 People with anger problems tend to, but not narcissists. My co worker and cousin have narcissist family members and they are in their 70's now and still the same... Link to post Share on other sites
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