Hey, guys! Want to see a REAL woman???

[clia]

I like the linked post because it shows what a huge difference make-up, angles, expression, and the right clothing can make in how a person looks.

 

However, I hate the expression "real women" because it is usually a derogatory term against thin women. I don't consider models any less "real" just because they are thin. Women are women, no matter what their size or body shape. Most women could have a completely kickass body if they put in the work in terms of nutrition and fitness.

[FitChick]

However, I hate the expression "real women" because it is usually a derogatory term against thin women.

 

In cases like this, they should say "average women."

[Els]

In cases like this, they should say "average women."

 

I believe the OP meant 'real' as in 'not photoshopped/posed/professionally photographed' like media. Sure there are real thin women, but they are still unlikely to look like photoshopped images of models.

 

That is irritating. It's something I've noticed, too. There seems to be a narrow range of "acceptable" woman's bodies before they are deemed too thin or too fat. "Healthy" is often in the "too fat" range. I don't get it!

 

Often, whether a woman is deemed "ok" or "too fat/too thin" seems to have more to do with the size of her waist or boobs than her actual weight or fitness. It doesn't matter that relative waist size is largely decided by genetics. Women of the same weight can be deemed hot or fat, simply by how her body distributes the weight.

 

Agreed, 100%.

 

If you are still looking for a photo, have you tried My Body Gallery?

 

Thanks, xxoo! Will check it out.

[Els]

Body image. I do finally appreciate women pushing back against the exaggerated body images in media. The dove company is one example, but personal blogs and other individuals are using the net and even art galleries to push back and show a range of bodies. However, I see the men about 10 years behind women in the media. Men are being bombarded as never before with the same super ideals women have had to deal with. The 6 pack is now the 8 or 12 pack. 2% body fat PLUS muscles. Plastic surgery for men is among the fastest growing areas of plastic surgery. And penis size - we can get to that in a next part of my reply. But my point is that men should push back as well against the media and these images -understand whats normal for both themselves and women - and its not in the media. We got the next generation of children to help avoid self esteem issues.

 

 

Very true.

 

I think society in general teaches men that their looks don't matter so much, and that other things matter more - whereas it does the opposite for women. So while the media is certainly pushing unrealistic images of men as well, men seem to be affected by it less because... well. It's like Sheryl Sandberg and women. Women in general don't really care that she's more successful than them, because it's not what they were socialized to base their worth on.

 

That being said, if that ever changes (and it seems to be changing), young men will be equally in danger of hurting their bodies and their self esteem due to media hype. So yes, people should absolutely push back, in general.

[USMCHokie]

That being said, if that ever changes (and it seems to be changing), young men will be equally in danger of hurting their bodies and their self esteem due to media hype. So yes, people should absolutely push back, in general.

 

I think physiologically, it's easier for men to mold and maintain themselves into the "ideal standard" of the male physique...which is why it isn't as prevalent a problem as with women hurting themselves to seek that ideal.

[Mr Scorpio]

I think the biggest problem here is that the inexperienced guys who are 'turned off' by a normal, healthy women with a beautiful but imperfect body have never been in love.

 

Until they experience feelings of desire for a woman based on more than the arrangement and size of her body parts, they probably won't understand how an imperfect woman can be HOT!

 

Or maybe some of us simply aren't attracted to women with her body type? Are petite women not normal and healthy?

[LittleTiger]

Or maybe some of us simply aren't attracted to women with her body type? Are petite women not normal and healthy?

 

My comment had nothing whatsoever to do with this particular woman. The discussion at that point was about physical 'perfection' and attraction.

 

If you're attracted to petite women who are imperfect that's great. Just remember that petite women will change physically during and after pregnancy, just as non-petite women do - sometimes more so because they are petite. Stretch marks, loose skin and cellulite come on women of all shapes and sizes - and every single one of us changes physically as we grow older.

 

Attraction is about so much more than body shape/size/type. I do hope you guys who haven't yet been in love will, one day, get to experience it - only then will you understand what I'm saying.

[Andy_K]

I think physiologically, it's easier for men to mold and maintain themselves into the "ideal standard" of the male physique...which is why it isn't as prevalent a problem as with women hurting themselves to seek that ideal.

 

I have to disagree with this. For a guy to either get abs or big arms is one thing, but to get both together and look like a fitness magazine cover model is stupendously difficult. For girls it is much more achievable to hit the 'physical ideal'.

 

I have spent a lot of time in gyms over the years. I see far more girls who could pass as fitness models than guys who could, despite there being far fewer girls in the gym overall.

 

And if we step outside of the fitness industry, there are many famous female models who basically don't exercise at all. They hit the ideal by being pretty much born that way. Not many guys can get away with that

Edited April 23, 2013 by Andy_K

[Emilia]

I have spent a lot of time in gyms over the years. I see far more girls who could pass as fitness models than guys who could, despite there being far fewer girls in the gym overall.

I think that's self-selection though. You will have a wider range of guys going to the gym: those that want general strength training, those that want to lose weight, short and skinny guys who want to be noticed more. I hardly ever see bigger girls in my gym, mainly already slim/fit ones. I think bigger girls are intimidated or don't care and they are the majority in the UK and the US.

And if we step outside of the fitness industry, there are many famous female models who basically don't exercise at all. They hit the ideal by being pretty much born that way. Not many guys can get away with that

True but they are usually skinny so they just watch what they eat.

[Andy_K]

True but they are usually skinny so they just watch what they eat.

 

That's more or less the the point... quite a number of girls can just watch what they eat with little or no exercise and they'll be at or close to the physical ideal. Skinny men will very rarely be seen that way. Mostly they need to be lean and still have at least a reasonable amount of muscle too, which is a harder goal to achieve.

[sweetkiwi]

I think physiologically, it's easier for men to mold and maintain themselves into the "ideal standard" of the male physique...which is why it isn't as prevalent a problem as with women hurting themselves to seek that ideal.

 

The problem is psychological. How do you make your penis bigger ?

[Emilia]

That's more or less the the point... quite a number of girls can just watch what they eat with little or no exercise and they'll be at or close to the physical ideal. Skinny men will very rarely be seen that way. Mostly they need to be lean and still have at least a reasonable amount of muscle too, which is a harder goal to achieve.

 

I suppose then you can argue whether 'skinny' is ideal in any context, personally I don't think so (and I used to be skinny, am still slim so can relate). Because men start off with lower body fat % on average, even if they just play football or some other team sport, do a few sprints and squats they can look good within reason. Not muscular but lean and fit. I suppose girls can always just eat salad but I think most women in celeb mags who look more 'normal' (like size 10) have to work out and eat.

[EasyHeart]

The problem is psychological. How do you make your penis bigger ?

Yikes! Who would want that?

 

If it got any bigger, I'm not sure I could walk. . . .

[EasyHeart]

I suppose then you can argue whether 'skinny' is ideal in any context, personally I don't think so (and I used to be skinny, am still slim so can relate). Because men start off with lower body fat % on average, even if they just play football or some other team sport, do a few sprints and squats they can look good within reason. Not muscular but lean and fit. I suppose girls can always just eat salad but I think most women in celeb mags who look more 'normal' (like size 10) have to work out and eat.

I agree. I think it's much easier for men to get close to a social "ideal" body type then it is for women. Especially right now, when scrawny/skinny men are very much in vogue. The female ideal we promote is absurd.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Meh, I am fine with men that are into skinny women. Just don't date me and try to make me into one.

[pbjbear]

Meh, I am fine with men that are into skinny women. Just don't date me and try to make me into one.

 

I dunno you seem like a cutie in your pictures.

 

I find most men dont like skinny girls because they have little Tits and Ass. I find most men like girls with a skinny frame that have Tits and Ass of a good size. Unfortunately, few women have that body shape. Its genetic and not many are blessed with it.

[Mr Scorpio]

If you're attracted to petite women who are imperfect that's great. Just remember that petite women will change physically during and after pregnancy, just as non-petite women do - sometimes more so because they are petite. Stretch marks, loose skin and cellulite come on women of all shapes and sizes - and every single one of us changes physically as we grow older.

 

Very true. If the woman ever has children.

 

Attraction is about so much more than body shape/size/type. I do hope you guys who haven't yet been in love will, one day, get to experience it - only then will you understand what I'm saying.

 

Also very true. My last GF wasn't what I considered skinny. She was average. But she had a big sexy brain, a sexy smile, a cute laugh, so on and so forth.

 

This raises a question in my mind. Take your average married couple who has very little to no sex (so I guess your average married couple? buh-zing!). Have they lost attraction to each other due to familiarity, or have they lost attraction to each other due to appearance?

 

I'm guessing it is a combination of both, but more due to familiarity than someone 'letting themself go'. Say they get divorced, does the man run out and chase after women with the same body type as his ex-wife?

[somedude81]

I agree. I think it's much easier for men to get close to a social "ideal" body type then it is for women. Especially right now, when scrawny/skinny men are very much in vogue. The female ideal we promote is absurd.

Huh?

 

Last time I heard, scrawny/skinny men aren't attractive to women unless the guy is very good looking.

 

Women want a guy who has big arms and shoulders. Somebody who looks like a man.

 

It's much easier for a woman to get and remain thin then it is for a man to "get big.'

[Emilia]

Huh?

 

Last time I heard, scrawny/skinny men aren't attractive to women unless the guy is very good looking.

 

Women want a guy who has big arms and shoulders. Somebody who looks like a man.

 

It's much easier for a woman to get and remain thin then it is for a man to "get big.'

 

A lot of women like skinny hipster guys. As Hokie said in another thread, it's a common misconception by some men that big muscles are always popular. Some women like them.

[Els]

We aren't just talking about thinness, for women. That is absolutely not the sole extent of photoshop done on models. We are talking about thin with perfect skin, significant T&A (this is NOT genetically common), perfect hair, perfect features. There are plenty of thin women who do not look like models and are unhappy because they feel they should. I was one of them, when I was a 100 lbs 20 yo.

 

I agree that the media-propagated ideals for men (specific facial structure, broad shoulders, toned muscle, abs, tall) are equally bad, even though they don't reflect what all women desire. To be fair, not all men desire the media-propagated ideals for women, either.

[AlexDP]

The problem is psychological. How do you make your penis bigger ?

 

You're right. It is psychological. That's why I feel insulted by the thread title. It's not us guys who hold women to an impossible standards. It's you. It's other women, it is you yourself. It's not us.

 

I feel insulted, because I am being blamed for the psychological problems of women with low self esteem. Why? Why am I being blamed here?

[LittleTiger]

Very true. If the woman ever has children.

 

Most women do - and ALL women, and men, start to 'sag' after a certain age - even the really fit, hot ones!

 

Also very true. My last GF wasn't what I considered skinny. She was average. But she had a big sexy brain, a sexy smile, a cute laugh, so on and so forth.

 

This raises a question in my mind. Take your average married couple who has very little to no sex (so I guess your average married couple? buh-zing!). Have they lost attraction to each other due to familiarity, or have they lost attraction to each other due to appearance?

 

I'm guessing it is a combination of both, but more due to familiarity than someone 'letting themself go'. Say they get divorced, does the man run out and chase after women with the same body type as his ex-wife?

 

I imagine in some cases, if people do 'let themselves go' then physical attraction might reduce but, of the happy couples that I know who have been married a while (my friends and I are in our 40s) the attraction doesn't change regardless of physical changes provided the relationship is good. My exH and I both gained (and lost) weight whilst we were married and it certainly didn't make any difference to our sexual relationship whilst we were happy together.

 

When attraction is lost, I don't think it has anything to do with familiarity either. Familiarity in a sexual relationship can be a real positive in my experience. There is nothing better than sex with someone you love deeply and know very intimately.

 

What usually causes loss of desire for one another is the breakdown of the relationship, which can happen for all sorts of reasons eg stress caused by money, children, job losses etc. When two people start to lose respect for one another and 'fall out of love', that's when sexual attraction starts to diminish - the body is far less important for a long lasting relationship than the person who resides within it.

[LittleTiger]

It's much easier for a woman to get and remain thin then it is for a man to "get big.'

 

Is it really?

 

You do know that the average man is biologically predisposed to gain muscle and remove body fat, provided he eats well and does the right kind of exercise?

 

The average woman, on the other hand, is biologically predisposed to gain and retain large percentages of fat, regardless of what she eats or how much she exercises. That's what makes our bodies so ideal for motherhood.

 

Most men and women are very capable of being slim and/or muscular, fit and healthy although we clearly all have our own gender specific and personal demons to fight. However, 'thin' for most women is not a realistic goal because, apart from the small number of naturally 'thin' women, nature did not design most of us to be that way.

 

PS: I should probably mention that I am slim and fit so I have no 'personal' agenda here.

[man_in_the_box]

It's much easier for a woman to get and remain thin then it is for a man to "get big.'

 

Well there's a couple of buts and ifs to that statement. For men its easier to get in shape/lose some weight and even built that little bit of muscle by doing weight exercises. However after a certain point, depending on your built it becomes exponentially more intensive and difficult. I have a bad built for getting muscles. Its easy to get a bit but getting noticable effects requires deddicated workouts multiple times a week.

 

From my experience of my partners weight loss its incredibly difficult to get started but once past a certain point mental and physical improvements can make it go by itself. I have a lot of respect and admiration for what she's done - even though it couldve been prevented all along. Don't underestimate physical and psychological barriers that have to be overcome in going from out of shape/overweight to fit/healthy.

 

Basically I guess its relatively easy to maintain a situation but its rather difficult to work to a new situation whether that's from 'bad' to normal or from normal to 'ideal'.

[xxoo]

It's much easier for a woman to get and remain thin then it is for a man to "get big.'

 

If that were true, the woman in the blog would be thin. She's a trainer; working out is her livelihood.

 

Both men and women come in different body types. Among people with big frames (bone and muscle mass), men are probably lucky and women might be unlucky. Getting to look "ideal" for our culture will be easy for him and difficult for her.

 

On the other hand, among people with slight frames (bone and muscle mass), women may have an easier time getting the "ideal" look, and men will have a much more difficult time.

 

A male ectomorph and female endomorph are constantly fighting their genes to be the "ideal". But if you are male and born an endomorph, you are "blessed" with natural bulk. And if you are female and born an ectomorph, you are "blessed" with thinness. Either way, genetics matter.