Yikes. Is he seeing another OW???

[reachingskywards]

I'm feeling hurt and confused. I know it's my own fault. I had been trying to break it off with my MM and he is always so obsessive with me that he kept coming back into my life. Now suddenly he's just decided to not contact me anymore and I'm hurt and confused. I think he's got someone else... I don't know. I should be happy he's left... but I'm feeling really disrespected.

 

At times I'm feeling really obsessive like I want to go over and tell his wife what's going on. But I'm trying to remain calm when I can.

 

Here is my letter to him...

 

 

Dear Peter

When you just decide out of the blue that you don't wnat to see me and you don't bother to let me know I feel hurt and disrespected. Even if you say that it wasn't a 'decision' as such, I at least think you could have made an effort to let me know.

 

The last times I saw you you kept reinterating how nothing was wrong and everything was great and good. So if that was the case, why do you just suddenly decide not to see me again.

 

Maybe this is my paranoia but I also think you are seeing someone else. I could be wrong but it certainly sounded like it from the way you reacted on the phone. Its the only thing from my perspective that makes sence from your behaviour. If you don't think its 'any of my business' then I can't disagree more.

 

You know that I've always been very understanding of anything and everything you've wanted to do. I helped you get the refund on the course when you wanted to go on holidays with your wife instead. I never complained or anything. I tried to be as open and honest with you as I could about everything to do with our relationship.

 

If you can help me understand what is going on then I know I will be alright. If you want to cut off our friendship like you've done with some of your other friends than I can deal with it. If you want to just have some space or whatever, please just let me know so I can make peace with the situation.

 

Kylie

[StillChillinCookie]

you obviously care about him....Take your love for him and multiply it by thousands, that's what his wife feels for him.....Don't say she's a cold B just because he says so....That's what they all say because theyre missing something in their marriage, they have to go somewhere else. If she wasn't trying or is as horrible as he might say...don't you think she would have left, or he might've? Your messing up someone elses life....Serves you right if he is seeing someone else.

 

I have a close friend that sees different MM because she was hurt and dosn't want a commitment. That's one thing, I still strongly think its a horrible thing to do however, don't become emotionally involved with someone elses man....Find your own unmarried man, marry him....maybe you'll be a lucky woman and don't get cheated on! But things always have a way to come and bite you back in the arse. Stop while you're ahead. I also think you should tell the wife....Listen to that little voice inside....She's gonna hurt more than you ever could...But that hurt could grow with time. Tell her soon....Get out of that lifestyle, it's so, wrong! To say the least.

[Mr Spock]

DO NOT SEND HIM THAT LETTER PLEASE!!!

 

Gather the remains of your dignity. You've been TRYING to end it. Now, he did what you could not-ended it. Thank your lucky stars, and look forward.

 

Don't contact him. He knows where you are, and how to get ahold of you. If he wanted to talk to you, he would. Looking good is the best revenge-move on, and leave him with his miserable life. Hard now, but it will get better.

 

You are being disrespected, because he can.

[stumt]

Listen what you have to realize is:

1 you wanted to end it anyway - maybe because you felt guilty or whatever the reason

2 You were the other woman

 

with that being said; how could you expect a real relationship to develope? He would never be able to fully trust you , nor you trust him. B'cus if he did it with you, what makes you think he wont do it to you?

 

In my oppinion once being a fellow ow Just suck it up, that's one of the risks of the job. When he gets tired of his new fling or gets tired of being a good boy, he'll be back.

Then is when you have to really make up your mind do you really want to stay the ow or do you want to find a man that you don't have to share?

[ICantStopLovinHim]

....Serves you right if he is seeing someone else.

 

I'm sorry but I disagree stillchillin, Noone deserves to be hurt. As a former OW I know the pain of what everyone goes through. Now I do agree that letter should not be sent and you do need to grab whats left of your dignity and leave him alone, I dont agree she deserves to be hurt thinking he is with someone else or even worse back with the wife.

 

I understand you were just trying to put in a perspective of how the wife feels about her husband cheating, but dont put it all on the OW.....especially if you dont know the circumstances....she may not have been the first or last one he cheated with......or maybe didnt know he was married untill the feelings were already there. Its not like something you can just turn off.

 

Anyway reaching skywards...him not contacting you just may be your blessing in disguise. Yes it hurts but take it for what its worth....you are worth more than the pain he puts in your heart....matter of factly we all are.