FLIRT when you have a GIRLFRIEND?

[Roy]

i was wondering, if you guys had a girlfriend that you were happy with

 

and then in the summer at your workplace you met a girl that you

 

thought was kinda cute, but you guys never really spoke

 

except to ask for the time or something like that. then one day you

 

guys are working in the same section and you start talking to her, not

 

to flirt, just because you are bored and need to talk to someone. and

 

then after that she starts to subtly flirt with you and she turns out to

 

be a really nice and sweet person, and you get a pretty strong feeling

 

that she likes you as more than a friend. then after the summer is

 

over she tries to keep in touch with you online since you guys go to

 

different schools. how would you react? the girl obviously likes you

 

and "wants" you and the idea of you guys keeping in touch might

 

upset your girlfriend if she knew about it, but then again this girl is a

 

really nice person and giving her the cold shoulder might hurt her.

 

what would you do in this situation?

[Anastasia]

Hon, it sounds like you are asking permission to continue communicating with this girl cause you think she 'wants' you, not because you think giving her the cold shoulder might hurt her feelings.

 

It's nice to feel wanted but you Mister, should be honest with yourself and her and tell her you have a girlfriend already, if you really feel she wants to be more than friends, otherwise you are stringing her along. That's a very bad boy habit. At least she knows where she stands then, she may only want to be friends, she may have a boyfriends herself, if you be honest with her then she can say see ya later or let's be friends. No deceiving. It will come back to ya! Promise!

[Roy]

thanks for the response, but she atually did know that i have a girlfriend before she started flirting with me. i didn't tell her directly but it came up in a group discussion we were having. and actually once i thought she was mad at me because i kind of ignored her since i was talking to this customer for a really long time and i wasn't really helping this girl out and so after the customer (who was a woman, maybe 20 yr.) left i kept asking her if she was mad at me and she kept saying no and then sarcastically she said that she wasn't mad but it would be nice if i stopped hitting on all these people and then i told her that i wasn't hitting on anyone because i had a girlfriend whom i was very happy with. so she knows that i have a girlfriend.

[Roy]

i'm sorry, i forgot to mention in my post that this girl knows i have a girlfriend, sorry about that.

[sparkle]

Hi Roy,

 

Think about what you want.

 

Do you like this girl?

 

Do you want to get to know her better?

 

Do you want to possibly go out with her?

 

Do you still like your girlfriend?

 

Do you want to stay with your girlfriend?

 

Do you think your relationship is headed anywhere?

 

Do you want your relationship with her to continue?

 

If you like the other girl more than your girlfriend,

 

or you want to get to know her better or go out with

 

her, then I say...go ahead and do so. BUT break up with

 

your girlfriend first. Or talk to your girlfriend about

 

dating other people as well. Maybe there's some guy that

 

your girlfriend is interested in getting to know better as well.

 

Just be careful and give it some thought. And take your girlfriend's feelings into consideration. If you think it might be worth it, then go for it. But if it's not, then you'll regret leaving your girlfriend. I suggest that if it would bother your girlfriend to talk to this other girl, that you end things with her before you continue talking to the other girl.

[Anastasia]

Awww God she sounds like trouble, only because she's insecure AND got a crush on ya. Ask yourself why you want this girl in your life, even as a friend, you are only courting disaster. Like I said it sure is nice knowing someone other than your girlfriend fancies you but if you are so happy with her then why are you even thinking about continuining communicating with this girl if she so obviously wants you?? You are asking for trouble!

 

Cheers

[Nic]

one of my friends is a super flirt. she flirts with guys who have girlfriends, she flirts with anybody.

 

no one has given her the cold shoulder as such. they still talk to her, but the flirting calmed down a lot with the guys who are spoken for when they'd flatly say things like, "stop looking at me!", "don't touch me" or if she'd make a comment with a bit of innuendo, a simple "yeah, you wish!".

 

a girl can be kinda cute, but she's obviously a bit insecure if she feels she needs to make subtle moves on you. if comments like above don't work, just ignore her flirting or pretend you didn't notice and get on with the job. hopefully she'll soon get bored with knowing she won't get a reaction and start flirting with someone new. or talk about your girlfriend around her often, but not overboard though because if she has a crush on you, it might hurt her feelings a bit.

 

you can still be friends with this girl without giving her the cold shoulder. just don't react to her flirting and don't flirt back even if you find it flattering, because it will only become a real pain in the butt for you when she continues to do this.

 

keeping in touch will only lead her on and may cause trouble for you and your girlfriend in the long run. she might feel let down, but she should expect that to some degree because she knows you have a girlfriend, and she obviously wants more from you, so maybe that's the fair thing to do for everyone in this situation.

 

you'll be fine and so will she, if you play it gently. she'll move on easily enough, even if she is a bit hurt, but you don't want her trying to grab something that is out of her reach, for her sake, yours and your girlfriends.

i was wondering, if you guys had a girlfriend that you were happy with and then in the summer at your workplace you met a girl that you thought was kinda cute, but you guys never really spoke except to ask for the time or something like that. then one day you guys are working in the same section and you start talking to her, not to flirt, just because you are bored and need to talk to someone. and then after that she starts to subtly flirt with you and she turns out to be a really nice and sweet person, and you get a pretty strong feeling that she likes you as more than a friend. then after the summer is over she tries to keep in touch with you online since you guys go to different schools. how would you react? the girl obviously likes you and "wants" you and the idea of you guys keeping in touch might upset your girlfriend if she knew about it, but then again this girl is a really nice person and giving her the cold shoulder might hurt her. what would you do in this situation?

[Roy]

thanks, but i was just wondering, what was it that made you think that she's so insecure, was it that remark about me hitting on people? anyways thanks for responding, it's greatly appreciated.

[Tony T]

There is nothing wrong with having and continuing female friendships and if your girlfriend can't handle that, tell her to take a hike.

 

However, it seems in this case these flirtations go beyond mere friendship and this girl has shown a greater interest in you. So, at this point it's your call. If you are very happy with your current girlfriend, you need to try to convert this flirtatious situation into a platonic friendship. If you cannot, you need to terminate all contact. You are not responsible for this girl's feelings, she is.

 

However, if you are very attracted to this girl and want to pursue a relationship with her, you need to break up with the lady you are seeing and then go for it. However, I pray you will not break up with your current lady everytime another female flirts or otherwise shows interest in you. Your life could become fairly chaotic by doing that. If you are happy, as you say, with your currently girlfriend...just drop this whole thing. It could evolve into a nightmare if you let it.

 

Until the day you die, there will be females who will want to flirt from time to time. If you are in a committed relationship, you should not encourage this flirting by responding to it no matter how much your ego is fed by it. You would only expect the same from your lady.

[Anastasia]

Hiya Roy,

 

Yeah this is what made me think she was insecure: "actually once i thought she was mad at me because i kind of ignored her since i was talking to this customer for a really long time and i wasn't really helping this girl out and so after the customer (who was a woman, maybe 20 yr.) left i kept asking her if she was mad at me and she kept saying no and then sarcastically she said that she wasn't mad but it would be nice if i stopped hitting on all these people"

 

What difference should it make to her if you were hitting on someone or not, it's not like you were HER boyfriend. She had no right to get 'mad' and certainly no right to make a comment like that. Someone who's got the hots for ya and is insecure in themselves would say something like that. My opinion anyway LOL

 

Hugs to you.

[Roy]

thanks for responding, but she actually wasn't mad at me at all. like i said she told me that she wasn't mad, but really i think i just thought she would be mad because i wasn't helping her i was just chatting with that customer for a good five-ten minutes instead of helping her out, but she wasn't mad at me at all.

 

also, after she made that comment about hitting on people and i told her i had a girlfriend.... she told me that she was just kidding and i shouldn't take her so seriously. so i don't know what to think.

 

thanks for responding.