Swansea Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 (edited) ( bear with me even if u think ive flooded the forum with questions, i feel this is the main one.) Let me try to keep some brevity here. I am scared of women to a certain degree because of my social anxiety. I love being and introverted guy and keeping to myself but despite looking at myself as a smart and "confident" guy i turn into a little ***** when it comes to even the thought of dating. I am definitely scared of women saying yes instead of no, to a certain degree. I've never gone out with anyone really, im 19 years old in college and i tend to get excited when some girls give me reason enough to create a profile of them where i see them as approachable due to similar traits that i may perceive such as shyness. Well for example today i got owned, my delusions got owned. I had decided to ask this girl out because she seemed introverted and her facebook had only 20 friends. Today after failing to ask her out i checked her facebook and she added 3 new friends, one of them being her other profile where she has near 700 friends and it says shes only been single for 2 weeks. It gives me a different idea where i dont feel secure, i feel socially anxious of the thought of even talking to a girl with a track record of actually having a life.. I get ideas of having to tell my parents i want to go out, or going out with her and not knowing what to say, or her being a person i dont like and conflict with because of her possible outgoing ness, or having to hang out with her friends and being judged by them, i got so terrified that my hard on for the girl vanished and now i feel empty with my feelings all over the floor... Im afraid of women and only go for those that fit my dark introverted delusions, i want to go out with someone but im so scared god dam it. ****! I can sometimes feel so confident and smart, but then when i make an image of a girl that fits my bubble, and it bursts and i feel hopeless, like everything i ever read about how to act or be yourself goes into flames when i see being my self as not working with girls with lives or very socially active... I feel like im an ant ffs, id want to go up to the girl id like to ask out atm and be able to hang on like a normal person but i forget that people are human and i suddenly see my self as defeated and nothing before it begins.. Dammit next tuesday i want to ask a girl out that today i would have asked out, didnt, and then realized i was completely wrong about, shes not my perfect image of introvertedness, she is a "normal" person, and i feel like if i can atleast successfully ask her out without chickening out, even if i do get rejected, would be a good start. I feel like i have problems talking to people, let alone becoming friends, and eventually asking out for a date, this girl is a stranger that i dont have the time or ability to try to interact with, so i decided to ask her out before the school year ends..But dammit she turns out to be "normal" and i melt like a little bitch! Edited April 19, 2013 by Swansea Link to post Share on other sites
adelia Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 This is the social anxiety taking over. I'm sorry you feel you can't fit in with normal people but what is normal anyways. Don't beat yourself up you should be kind to yourself and make small goals. Social anxiety is like a prison sentence but you can break free. Just go for it. Before you do act it out on your mind first a few times. Don't worry about later just the moment by moment. First just go up to her and say hi. If that's all you do that's still an accomplishment! Next time will be hi and want to go for a coffee or some small talk. Little goals and never do the scary what if thinking. 90% of what you worry about never happens. Little goals 2 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 She has 700 friends? Can she name them all? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 i started crying yesterday before i had to give a talk........just looking at the stand.....made me cry as i imagined myself on it breaking down..peopel feelign sorry for me sent me on a spack attack.i had to get up and walk out...praying to god to give me strength and not let everyone see me break down in front of them ...i was petrified of losing control....and today.....i gave the talk....the anxiety passed and i did a passable job a bit fractured not long enough and i folded but i did it.......and they gave me hugs....everything passes...this too shall pass.....you juts have to keep trying......it will get easier if you expose yourself more to what you fear the most.....d.eb 2 Link to post Share on other sites
adelia Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 i started crying yesterday before i had to give a talk........just looking at the stand.....made me cry as i imagined myself on it breaking down..peopel feelign sorry for me sent me on a spack attack.i had to get up and walk out...praying to god to give me strength and not let everyone see me break down in front of them ...i was petrified of losing control....and today.....i gave the talk....the anxiety passed and i did a passable job a bit fractured not long enough and i folded but i did it.......and they gave me hugs....everything passes...this too shall pass.....you juts have to keep trying......it will get easier if you expose yourself more to what you fear the most.....d.eb That's the hard part to overcome it you must face it and feel the discomfort. Exposure is the key but in modification. You can always modify your goals and break them down to be more achievable. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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