My husband should of married his mother instead of me

[Jess12]

She is absolutely obsessed with her son!! She is dramatic to get his attention (she has another child as well) But her obsession is really something else. When we first got married we didn't really even enjoy our honeymoon she was constantly calling him telling him to come home soon, and when was he going home and why is he taking so long like wtf. After we left our wedding reception she wanted to tag along!!! can you believe this? Well we finally moved awayyyyy from her far far far extremely far away to another country thank the stars away from this woman. Before leaving she told me to tell my husband to look for a job for her in the area we newly moved to as she was moving in with her son(my husband) and needed a job since she wants to move to our new place. (she has a husband by the way, she completely disregarded the fact that she has a husband which told her he isnt going anywhere and another child and she said she did not care that she will come move in to our house regardless).

 

 

It gets wayyyy better thank god that my husband does not pay her any mind. My husband is not a momma's boy he will jump at anything if his parents needed as anybody else would and is always there for them BUT he is not a complete momma's boy. I am always telling him to call his mother, remember to talk to her every now and then because she will not stop emailing me about it! She has our house number but she wants to talk to him. I told her call during so and so hours that is when he gets home from work so you can talk to him no she uses me to get to him.

 

 

She emails him like crazy but he just doesnt respond to her he is very lazy so i constantly remind him to talk to her. Now she asked me if he is going back home for vacation i told her no that i am going back home but not him, i guess she felt insulted and when he finally got around to calling her i was next to him hearing everything they were talking about and she told him just because you are married does not mean you can and will have the right to forget about me and your family which he responded with you know how i am and you know i hate writing or been on the phone 24/7 (this made me love him even more! and asked if i was mad at her WTF this lady is something else. She pretty much meant to say that i am the one stopping him from calling home when if it wasnt for me constantly reminding him to call her he wouldnt even bother to do so.

 

 

Also as soon as he told her i was next to him she changed the subject sneaky little.......anyways...This lady is something else!!! It does not stop there, am grateful we live farrrrr away from her otherwise i would have to deal with this 24/7 oh and funny thing she stopped emailing me THANK GOD! better for me. SHe also told him that he needs to send her money because if your married you can afford to give your parents money to pay for her and her husband bills for everything including credit card debt. She just seems jealous that i am married to my husband and not her! Well she can throw her tantrums elsewhere because she met her match and am not going anywhere! I was so mad i even told my husband in an arguement we had that he should have married his mother and not me. I have no regret because he snapped out of it and he understands me more. I am blunt and i dont care this lady has nothing on me.

 

 

Now she wants to come visit and stay for a year! Haha! Thats not happening! what do you guys think, she is extremely annoying good thing i got my husband on my side! I told my husband my parents are not coming to visit yet, we just got married not even a year is our time to spend with each other, at least for the first year or two before we have kids or anything to settle and she is already planning the trip over she had picked out a month to come ( this was 2 months after we got married!!!!! We had not even unpacked our suitcases and she was already planning on visiting in a month's time after we arrived to our new home in our new country! and everything without telling us!

 

 

I got so angry and my husband said she can pick whatever month she wants it doesnt work like that, i told him but she says she already has the money for the ticket and everything and he says if she pays for it she will be the one to loose it because it is something she needs to talk to me first. Dont get me wrong he is not always like this his mom has a way of controling him as well and manipulates him a lot with her drama and what not. Am just glad we are away i think it helps.

Edited April 20, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Edited title and added paragraphs

[january2011]

I found it very difficult to read your post because of the lack of paragraphs.

 

What kind of advice were you looking for? Or were you just looking to vent out your frustration?

[Radu]

January said it better than i could have, your paragraphs suck.

And your lack of organisation of ideeas made it even harder to read.

 

How old are you OP ?

 

I've also noticed that you at first say your husband is not a momma's boy, then he is partial momma's boy at the middle and complete with the fact that he is a momma's boy.

 

Well, i'll be blunt, he is a momma's boy, and she is coming over to asset her authority.

How long have you two been dating, before you got married ?

How old is he ?

How old is his sibling and is it boy or girl ?

Why is her husband accepting this kind of behaviour ?

[Weathergirl]

Hi, where is she from if you don't mind me asking?

All I can suggest, is that you talk to your husband about how this is making you feel. Chances are, she has always been like this, she sounds very controlling, it would not just spring up overnight.

My grandmother is a very overpowering lady, she used to call my dad, and when his wife answered she used to put the phone down. When my dad used to confront her she said the line cut off. I laugh about it now but it's difficult to live with someone like this.

[Jess12]

again i apologize for the paragraphs i was venting and completely forgot.

 

Radu,

 

What i mean to say is that He is not a moma's boy i meant to say that like any other person if your family needs your help he will help but he is not the one to be talking to his mom 24/7 or reporting to her or be all attached and complain to her etc 24/7 and his mom is mad about this and seems to blame it on me for us been "married". If you know what i mean. Apparently she thinks the reason why her precious son is not in touch with her as much as she would like is because of me which it isn't true because i remember when we dated she would call him 24/7 and he would even avoid her calls and i would tell him aren't you going to answer and he was like nahh.

 

It is her that seems to want to be with him 24/7 which is irritating as am sure if her husband's mother was this way she would not tolerate it my mother in law is a very dominant woman! My husband is in the army and one time he was deployed he wouldn't even call his mom he would call me every chance he got because that was his decision, and his mom would get mad every time she would call me to find out to see if he called and i would tell her yes, so after this i kept telling him when he would call me, please call your mother, i know your fine and am grateful just call her and talk to her for a while. Otherwise he wouldnt even call her. I was always his top priority so i do not understand we she says now at this point in our relationship that just because we are married it does not mean he cant call her or whatever when he never even did before our marriage making it seem like it is me. She is horrible.

 

And she wants to move in with us and i say HELL NO! She is mean as hell to her own mother in law she is manipulative and dominant how can i avoid this without my husband getting mad? It is after all his mother.

 

I am 28 and we dated since we were 15 but we got married late since we wanted to do college and what not. Also, when you mention "why is her husband accepting this kind of behavior", did you mean mines or my mother in laws?

 

Weathergirl,

 

I have told him but he does not pay it any mind he does not pay her any mind, like when she wanted to come for vacation for a few months he said for what your seeing me right now in camera over the computer but she is very tragic And he sometimes buys it and he still doesn't realize it that it is all a show so sometimes it is hard for him to realize it. AM telling you my mother in law is good at her acting skills!!!

[JessieJ08]

I understand Exactly what your dealing with... my man I have been with for 4 years is an only child and his mother is controlling, dramatic and insane. Lol

 

Let me tell you this the reason he does nothing and he ignores it so easily is because he is use to her craziness he has dealt with it his whole life so its easier for him to just be like Whatever she is my mom. He doesn't acknowledge her much probably because he knows she will but in even without him allowing it so he doesn't want to talk to her all the time or call everyday.

Trust me my fiances mom has went as far to try and fight me even after I had just gave birth to our child over me telling her I didn't want her in my home telling me how to live and run my house. It went from that bad to worst she does all types of crap to push my buttons and my mans but we ignore it. I learned its just better to not involve myself or have that close relationship to her I get its his mother and the grandmother of my son but she is not ready to let her son go and she has no choice he is a man we are getting married with or without her in our lives and if she wants to be part of our lives she is going to have to accept it.He is not a child. I finally woke up to it when I called her because he wouldn't go to the doctor when he was having chest pain I called her just asking to help talk him into going to the doctor next thing I know she books a plane ticket without asking either of us... that was my final straw with her specially since the last time she came she acted like a nut case and I told her she should have asked me or him before doing it.

 

I now realize Im sick of her making me look bad my fiance was mad at me for calling her he told me he didn't need her to know everything that he went to me because Im the woman he should go to about things. I thought about it and yes he is right Everything that goes on with us doesnt need to be known by others. There is a reason were getting married to have a life together that doesn't include his mother or any other outside relative being in our business 24/7.

 

Once I stepped back and looked at things the right way I realized she was just trying to make me weak I was driving myself insane caring about this womens craziness and Im so thankful It has stopped now when she says things its easy to ignore them It just shows me how not to be as a woman and mother. I have my family and I hope she figures her life out but thats not my concern:) I hope you can get to this place cus it will make you a lot happier you will see