Fiances baby mama pregnant.. Why am I so upset??

[Lovely.Lady]

So my fiancé has a 6 year daughter who lives with her mom. The mom started dating a guy that my fiancé knows so it is fine but a few months ago my fiancé told his ex he thinks he needs to have a kid so his daughter can have a brother or sister. First of all, why does that matter? So this morning he calls me from work to tell me, guess what? His ex is pregnant. What am I suppose to say? We don't hate each other but he didn't suggest US having a baby.

This just hit me really hard and I had to hang up the phone because I was choking back tears. My step sister just had her second boy and it seems like everybody is having a child. I'm hurt but am I being childish and irrational?

Thanks.... Char

[Mr. Lucky]

So my fiancé has a 6 year daughter who lives with her mom. The mom started dating a guy that my fiancé knows so it is fine but a few months ago my fiancé told his ex he thinks he needs to have a kid so his daughter can have a brother or sister. First of all, why does that matter? So this morning he calls me from work to tell me, guess what? His ex is pregnant. What am I suppose to say? We don't hate each other but he didn't suggest US having a baby.

This just hit me really hard and I had to hang up the phone because I was choking back tears. My step sister just had her second boy and it seems like everybody is having a child. I'm hurt but am I being childish and irrational?

 

I just can't celebrate the fact that a serial cheater like her who is self centered and rude is unmarried, having ANOTHER child with a man who she will treat no differently than my poor fiancé was treated by her.

I can't help but wonder if there's more than one side to this story. Seems like a strange conversation for your fiancee to be having with a cheating exGF...

 

Mr. Lucky

[darkmoon]

hopefully, he'll say something to ease your understandable insecurity, i know some men do not act mean, but other men see insecurity as a drag

 

you'll know if he's mean or nice by whether your distress brings you closer together by you facing it as a couple, or whether he will not have the sensitivity to see your point of view, if it's the latter, then i'd walk, because you might have a lifetime of his hardheadness, urghh

[Lovely.Lady]

I don't understand what you're getting at but we live 6 hours away from them?? I was a lot more upset this morning but I just feel like if I was pregnant he would treat it like a nightmare....

[Lovely.Lady]

He thinks that Taylor, his daughter, need a sibling to keep her company. First off, they won't really be in the same age range since she's 6 and is a VERY spoiled only child. But when he says she needs a sibling, I'm thinking that means I am involved too..

He doesn't want to have kids for another 3-5 years so that we can "do things right" and will have spent time alone for awhile. But seeing him be so happy about her having the baby, I can't help but to think how he would think it was too soon if it were ME who was having a baby.

Does that make sense?

[tbf]

If he's definitively not the father of this new child, can't you be happy for his daughter? I don't understand what you're upset about.

[Lovely.Lady]

I guess the real problem is a lot deeper. My department got shut down in December right before Xmas and my fiancé's boss told him the auto shop he was at isn't opening in 2013. This is after 4 months of moving to a new state.

So January he gets a job as a tech at the shop his brother is at. So I took a couple online classes and we are starting a home business. A HUGE problem happens while we're out of town in March and our investment is destroyed. Back to square one..

I've honestly been going in and out of bouts of depression from being alone all day with 2 dogs and not having friends here. Brother in laws girlfriend and my guy don't get along so they don't talk and our only family in this state is 2 hours away.

I guess I can say I'm emotionally weak at the time..

Hearing she was pregnant, my sister having her 2nd baby, half my friends are expecting and I'm just not the one allowed that happiness.

Like I said, I'm lonely. The only time I'm happy is when I'm with him. I take my dogs out a lot but I'm still alone 12 hours a day..

I've just got baby syndrome.

Edited April 19, 2013 by Lovely.Lady

[tbf]

In this day and age of cyberspace, can't you connect with your prior friends and family through skype or other means?

[Lovely.Lady]

I talk to my mom about every other day and talk to my girlfriends pretty frequently but talking to my dad depresses me. I'm taking my time with school and he doesn't understand that I want to do this business with my fiancé so we can get ahead. I'm just on an emotional roller coaster.

[Radu]

Anyone who settles for the term of 'baby momma' is trash.

And his ex sounds like trash.

 

Your guy is either stupid, or a jerk [i'm thinking the former tbh].

Calling from work to tell you this, especially this when he could have waited to get home, as it's not really a big thing.

 

How old are you ?

For how long have you two been together ?

[pink_sugar]

From your first post it sounds like you don't want kids from your reaction of his wanting another child. I think him calling you at work to say his ex is pregnant is very inappropriate. I can understand that it may come up at dinner conversation...but personally interrupting your work day? Unless it's his child, who the heck cares?