Co-parenting through the pain,hurt and hate....

[dfd00123]

Well ill tell you the whole story. We met five years ago, and it went so fast it made my head spin. We moved in with each other shortly0 after meeting, fell in love and it was amazing. I spent the best years of my life with her. Before her I didnt like myself at all. She made me see that I was worth something and a good person. On our 2nd christmas together I proposed. She gladly said yes and it was like a dream come true. We were as happy as we had ever been but two months before the wedding she found out she was pregnant. And we never really planned on or wanted kids, but I was excited. She took pregnancy better than I'd ever seen and I loved her more than ever. She took every oppirtunity to make sure he was healthy and her too. He was born in july and by his first birthday we were separated, after five years. she was gone. I had took on as much responsibility as I could at work to make as much money as I could. Which meant working 3rd shift never seeing her or my son. I think I had like post pardum depression or something. It was like I didnt want to be alive anymore but I didnt know why! I couldnt tell her, she was doing so much to take care of him and me too. I got addicted to methamphetamines, a drug I had despised for so many years, and I couldnt stop. And finally she left. Im clean now but its been almost awhole year of hurt and pain. We've both said some hateful, mean, and just down right dirty things to each other. She says she would never put herself in that situation again and never wants to be with me again. I cant stop thinking about her. She was my best friend, my lover, my soulmate. I dont know what to do anymore.I cant keep going on feeling like this. I have a big piece of me missing that will never be there again. We both have dated other people and it just feel wrong. I hate it. I miss her so much. But every time she doesnt have the same feelings about it I lash out and hurt her more. I have to get her back and dont know what else to do.

[amaysngrace]

Yeah it sucks when fighting leads to insults.

 

I always say that the most important thing to remember is to love your child more than you hate your ex.

 

Always do right by your child no matter how much you can't stand each other.

 

Kids and their feelings come before yours or hers.

[ForeverHopeful1]

Stop dating! You're not ready. You're still in love with her and shouldn't be with anyone else until you are over that. Its not fair to you and its not fair to anyone else.

 

Focus on staying clean, and NEVER treating the mother of your child that way. You broke her heart just like she is breaking yours now by getting involved in drugs. No one should have to live with a meth addict and she did right by your son by dumping you while this was going on. Did you expect her to stay and allow you to be that way around your little guy? Taking your son out of a VERY ugly situation was best for him. Stop beating her up over what you did! Please understand this. You did this to her. Then she protected her son from a meth addict (you.) You're angry about it. Why? Its you who started doing drugs. You're angry with yourself, not her. So stop treating her like ****. She probably hates you even more because its your fault its over and you treat her like crap because of what YOU did. Own it and she may respect you more.

 

By the sounds of it, she has only ever done right by your son and in doing so, she hurt you... But in reality, if you never did drugs to begin with, you wouldn't be in the situation.

 

You should move on with your life assuming that you really screwed everything up and she is not coming back. She should be able to make those choices for herself and you CAN'T get mad at her for screwing everything up. You did that. If she ever comes back, you will be lucky... So try to make yourself a better person, someone who is trustworthy, reliable and not on meth. Be more respectable and respectful and she may come back... Unless and until you stop acting like a child, she should stay gone for your sons sake. Be the man she needs... Not the man she needs to protect her son from.