Guys who like innocent girls

[Archgirl]

Arch is awesome. Her advice is a wake up call and makes sense. I see how I acted in the past and attracted the wrong guys and scared guys off that I liked.

 

Awwwww!!!

 

Wow!

 

I'm so glad I gave advice that someone actually wanted!!

 

Man, maybe I need to put that in my sig!!!

[Buttercup84]

 

Can I come too!!?!?!?!

 

I'll be the flirty friend! :bunny:

 

Yes ! I can learn a lot from you haha.

[Buttercup84]

Awwwww!!!

 

Wow!

 

I'm so glad I gave advice that someone actually wanted!!

 

Man, maybe I need to put that in my sig!!!

 

 

It is true !

[Archgirl]

Yes ! I can learn a lot from you haha.

 

I just love you right now!!

 

Your encouragement is makin me remeber more and more of my rules!!

 

Like I am currently having this ridiculous text message exchange with this guy I dated last year. He gorgeous - like really hot and ripped and smart. And a total player. He has real game.

 

Anyways he's been back in contact outta the blue when I put my dating profile back up on the site I met him on.

 

His first message was this:

Hey.

 

Like freakin pathetic, I'd usually totally ignore it. But i'm bored and he's really good fun.

 

so I respond: Hey.

Just to see what he'll do.

 

And this leads me to my first rule with the guys you like who are players - never respond to quickly to their messages, you have better things to do with your time. And always match their level of input or tone - even to the extent of using less words than they do. They hate it, they just plain aren't used to it, they are used to chicks falling over themselves to try to make that contact into an actual conversation.

 

I also try to not have prolonged message convos with these guys - just exchange a few messages and get outta there. After they recover, they seem to get a lil intrigued as to why you are different - so they'll break their own rules and initiate contact with you again when you don't contact them with in a few days.

 

And if you keep playing it the same way, and end your messages with a question (like they ask how's your day, you go: meh, s'ok, u?). Youre giving him enough to know youre still interested in keeping the conversation going but are inexplicable not responding to him the way he is used to, so he'll just keep breaking his own rules over and over.

 

Which this guy is doing.

Edited April 20, 2013 by Archgirl

[Toddbt12y1]

Goodwork arch! I don't think that their is anyway to follow-up with what you've said.

 

All hail-arch she killed the thread with great advise! OP...I hope things workout for you

[Archgirl]

Goodwork arch! I don't think that their is anyway to follow-up with what you've said.

 

All hail-arch she killed the thread with great advise! OP...I hope things workout for you

 

 

Ohhhh hello Toddy!! Youre back!! I'ma gonna go reply to you now:bunny:

[Toddbt12y1]

Ohhhh hello Toddy!! Youre back!! I'ma gonna go reply to you now:bunny:

 

But I'm always here! In spirit oooolala is that a bouncing bunny I see...or are you just happy to see me?

 

OP...I'm sure things will work fine for you. Besides, you look pretty - the Guy will be crazy if he messed it all up.

[Ninjainpajamas]

I just love you right now!!

 

Your encouragement is makin me remeber more and more of my rules!!

 

Like I am currently having this ridiculous text message exchange with this guy I dated last year. He gorgeous - like really hot and ripped and smart. And a total player. He has real game.

 

Anyways he's been back in contact outta the blue when I put my dating profile back up on the site I met him on.

 

His first message was this:

Hey.

 

Like freakin pathetic, I'd usually totally ignore it. But i'm bored and he's really good fun.

 

so I respond: Hey.

Just to see what he'll do.

 

And this leads me to my first rule with the guys you like who are players - never respond to quickly to their messages, you have better things to do with your time. And always match their level of input or tone - even to the extent of using less words than they do. They hate it, they just plain aren't used to it, they are used to chicks falling over themselves to try to make that contact into an actual conversation.

 

I also try to not have prolonged message convos with these guys - just exchange a few messages and get outta there. After they recover, they seem to get a lil intrigued as to why you are different - so they'll break their own rules and initiate contact with you again when you don't contact them with in a few days.

 

And if you keep playing it the same way, and end your messages with a question (like they ask how's your day, you go: meh, s'ok, u?). Youre giving him enough to know youre still interested in keeping the conversation going but are inexplicable not responding to him the way he is used to, so he'll just keep breaking his own rules over and over.

 

Which this guy is doing.

 

This is only effective if the guy hasn't determined already that you're into him.

 

If he's gorgeous, ripped and smart...well then you better have something out of the ordinary to offer that separates you from the pack....period, because he's going to definitely have options.

 

You've already dated him, assuming you slept with him, he's merely throwing out a weak effort/line to peak your interest and encourage a reply. Assuming he's "smart" he wouldn't say "hey" unless he feels that's all he has to do to get your attention, and it worked.

 

The fact that you mirror his behavior at this point will not peak his interest, he's already had the goods. All he's doing is determining whether you'll show some interest, then if you don't make it easy for him by inviting him out then he may make the gesture...because he has to.

 

And guys can tell when you're into them, but trying to play aloof or unaffected. I know a lot of women think that some men can't see right through them but it's very obvious and a little bit comical when a woman tries to play "hard to get" once you know she's kind of smitten by you as it is, guys will just put in this piss poor effort to just see how you'll react...after all, there's nothing to be concerned or worried about, you wouldn't be talking to him in the first place right if you had no interest? so why put more of an effort into it than that? he can basically put you on "stand-by" mode and when it's convenient for him and he feels motivated to lift 3 fingers instead of one then he can just ask you out.

 

Your "strategies" may work in the dating/initial phases and some of the more gullible men, but be aware that if you're showing your cards on one hand then playing aloof on the other, a smart guy/player is going to see through you and just basically ignore your own antics and at the end of the day, just move on anyway when it's not very entertaining.

 

And then you just kinda played yourself for no reason, because he's there for a reason...the whole song and dance may not even be necessary for what he is looking for anyway, know what I mean?

 

Don't underestimate that fact that many women do try to come off clever and tactful in the dating game, it takes a real poker face and a solid game plan to achieve that however....but if you have to put that much work into it, then it begs the question...what exactly do you think you think you're going to achieve playing games or trying to be someone else?

 

At the end of the day...most guys are trying to get laid, you really don't need to put my effort or thought into accomplishing that, or becoming a temporary FWB or what not.

Edited April 20, 2013 by Ninjainpajamas

[ltjg45]

If I were to say that, to put it frankly, I just don't want a "bad girl".

 

The ones who goes to parties and clubs a lot, have casual sex so much I wonder if there is something wrong with me, got an ego too big to match, have a lot of issues that will surface not long after you first meet her, tattoos/body piercing, always want the criminal male, etc etc.

 

I could go on and on but these are the majority of the women in my area. This is why I'm content being single and a virgin.

[Archgirl]

This is only effective if the guy hasn't determined already that you're into him.

 

If he's gorgeous, ripped and smart...well then you better have something out of the ordinary to offer that separates you from the pack....period, because he's going to definitely have options.

 

You've already dated him, assuming you slept with him, he's merely throwing out a weak effort/line to peak your interest and encourage a reply. Assuming he's "smart" he wouldn't say "hey" unless he feels that's all he has to do to get your attention, and it worked.

 

The fact that you mirror his behavior at this point will not peak his interest, he's already had the goods. All he's doing is determining whether you'll show some interest, then if you don't make it easy for him by inviting him out then he may make the gesture...because he has to.

 

And guys can tell when you're into them, but trying to play aloof or unaffected. I know a lot of women think that some men can't see right through them but it's very obvious and a little bit comical when a woman tries to play "hard to get" once you know she's kind of smitten by you as it is, guys will just put in this piss poor effort to just see how you'll react...after all, there's nothing to be concerned or worried about, you wouldn't be talking to him in the first place right if you had no interest? so why put more of an effort into it than that? he can basically put you on "stand-by" mode and when it's convenient for him and he feels motivated to lift 3 fingers instead of one then he can just ask you out.

 

Your "strategies" may work in the dating/initial phases and some of the more gullible men, but be aware that if you're showing your cards on one hand then playing aloof on the other, a smart guy/player is going to see through you and just basically ignore your own antics and at the end of the day, just move on anyway when it's not very entertaining.

 

And then you just kinda played yourself for no reason, because he's there for a reason...the whole song and dance may not even be necessary for what he is looking for anyway, know what I mean?

 

Don't underestimate that fact that many women do try to come off clever and tactful in the dating game, it takes a real poker face and a solid game plan to achieve that however....but if you have to put that much work into it, then it begs the question...what exactly do you think you think you're going to achieve playing games or trying to be someone else?

 

At the end of the day...most guys are trying to get laid, you really don't need to put my effort or thought into accomplishing that, or becoming a temporary FWB or what not.

 

Well of course he's trying to get laid, why else would he be contacting me out of the blue!

 

And no I never slept with him and have no plans to.

 

I ditched him because he was fun to date short term but not a keeper -no emotional depth so it was time to move on.

 

To be honest I'm just seeing if my old dating rules still work and playing with him just a lil

 

But of course I've been played and hurt and used. How do you think I learnt to protect myself!

[RedRobin]

This is only effective if the guy hasn't determined already that you're into him.

 

If he's gorgeous, ripped and smart...well then you better have something out of the ordinary to offer that separates you from the pack....period, because he's going to definitely have options.

 

You've already dated him, assuming you slept with him, he's merely throwing out a weak effort/line to peak your interest and encourage a reply. Assuming he's "smart" he wouldn't say "hey" unless he feels that's all he has to do to get your attention, and it worked.

 

The fact that you mirror his behavior at this point will not peak his interest, he's already had the goods. All he's doing is determining whether you'll show some interest, then if you don't make it easy for him by inviting him out then he may make the gesture...because he has to.

 

And guys can tell when you're into them, but trying to play aloof or unaffected. I know a lot of women think that some men can't see right through them but it's very obvious and a little bit comical when a woman tries to play "hard to get" once you know she's kind of smitten by you as it is, guys will just put in this piss poor effort to just see how you'll react...after all, there's nothing to be concerned or worried about, you wouldn't be talking to him in the first place right if you had no interest? so why put more of an effort into it than that? he can basically put you on "stand-by" mode and when it's convenient for him and he feels motivated to lift 3 fingers instead of one then he can just ask you out.

 

Your "strategies" may work in the dating/initial phases and some of the more gullible men, but be aware that if you're showing your cards on one hand then playing aloof on the other, a smart guy/player is going to see through you and just basically ignore your own antics and at the end of the day, just move on anyway when it's not very entertaining.

 

And then you just kinda played yourself for no reason, because he's there for a reason...the whole song and dance may not even be necessary for what he is looking for anyway, know what I mean?

 

Don't underestimate that fact that many women do try to come off clever and tactful in the dating game, it takes a real poker face and a solid game plan to achieve that however....but if you have to put that much work into it, then it begs the question...what exactly do you think you think you're going to achieve playing games or trying to be someone else?

 

At the end of the day...most guys are trying to get laid, you really don't need to put my effort or thought into accomplishing that, or becoming a temporary FWB or what not.

 

Yea, I agree with this.

[RedRobin]

To be honest I'm just seeing if my old dating rules still work and playing with him just a lil

 

 

ok. You seem better than that though. Not that you need my advice. You seem to be doing A-Ok on your own.

 

If you aren't interested in him, then it seems best to let it go. Don't you think?

 

On the other hand... If he is hot and ripped and smart, I suppose you could give him a twirl in the sack if you could trust yourself not to get attached. But since you can't let a 'hey' from a guy you supposedly aren't interested in go unattended, I'm not sure if you'd have the strength to do that. Just my 0.02

 

Anyway, all this just keeps you from finding a hot, ripped, smart guy who would really be into you. Seems like a waste of time to me. but what do I know??

[Feelin Frisky]

When a guy says he wants a girl who is " sweet, innocent and girl next door " does that mean that he wants a girl who keeps her mouth shut ?

No. Probably not. Sweet means uncomplicated, non-contentious, positive energy. Innocent implies "not a lot of sexual mileage on her"--reserved, moral but open. The girl next door means low maintenance--not expecting a new $1K Lois Vuitton bag every three months, doesn't get a $500 hair do (or don't) but is natural home girl good in jeans and middle class casual, not tank top and tatts either with a cigarette always hanging out of her mouth. A guy who wants that (the sweet, innocent, girl next door) can either be kinda like that himself or he could be a brain surgeon or stock broker who just wants and uncomplicated romance where there's no competition for smarts and regular disagreements. She's a total break from the tension of intellectual competition in his livelihood. I can dig it. Of course, he can be an axe murderer too but just sticking to likely generalities.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Yea, I agree with this.

 

I agree with it too but it's exactly the same for women. I can always tell when a guy is interested even if he trying hard not to appear so. It's especially easy to tell when I am not that into him. When I am into him, self doubts can skew the picture.

 

Personally, games accomplish nothing long term, they just prolong hopeless situations. I can't be bothered playing them so I am pretty obvious, even in early dating stages.

[taiko]

I think innocent means... capable of a conservative, lady-like demeanor in public - transforms into a wonderful slut in the bedroom.

 

Ludacris won a Grammy for saying that on an Usher recording. Then you have the opposites. The Ice-T and Coco or Kanye and Kim Kardashian.

 

Then some guys expect that virgin to instinctively become the "freak in the bed". Or at least be naturally uninhibited because her culture taught her to be that way when she does join with a man, rather then fear the experience

[RedRobin]

I agree with it too but it's exactly the same for women. I can always tell when a guy is interested even if he trying hard not to appear so. It's especially easy to tell when I am not that into him. When I am into him, self doubts can skew the picture.

 

Personally, games accomplish nothing long term, they just prolong hopeless situations. I can't be bothered playing them so I am pretty obvious, even in early dating stages.

 

I know. Me too.

 

When in doubt, I default back to my high school days or try to. Basically just keep my hands to myself and theirs too... find fun things to do together and share how I'm feeling then go from there. What's that book... everything I needed to know about life I learned in kindergarten??

 

All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten: Robert Fulghum: 9780345466396: Amazon.com: Books

 

Funny how life and experience pollute the simple joy of getting to know someone... On the other hand, life and experience have taught me how to avoid people who are hurtful, have negative intentions, or are just too damaged in some way to be able to relate to others in a healthy way.

 

We just need to pay attention to our early insights and then act on them decisively. Provide time in low-stakes activities to allow someone's character to reveal itself. It always does.

 

"Character teaches above our wills. Men imagine that they communicate their virtue or vice only by overt actions and they do not see that virtue or vice emit a breath every moment."

 

- Emerson

[mtber75]

I never quite understood what people meant when they refer to females as "innocent".....

 

Does innocent = virgin"?

Does innocent= little number of sexual partners"? If for example, a woman has had one sexual partner for many years, but engaged in a lot of risqué things with this partner, is she still innocent?

 

I understand that most men don't want a promiscuous woman and some men, especially where I live, prefer conservative women. But innocent? Innocent to me means a woman with no "carnal" knowledge - so pretty much a virgin.

 

Ild infer however, that he prefers women who are kind of shy, smile a lot, reserved, traditional, quiet etc.

 

I have a single friend who said the same thing...He wants a sweet, nice and innocent girl? I said WTF does that mean. But I think he just wants a girl with traditional values. Yeah I'm guessing innocent as a nice word for not being promiscuous since being a virgin is pretty rare these days!

[crederer]

To me, it means friendly girl that you'd be happy to bring home to mom. Doesn't wild out too much and the kind of girl that you feel you can bring any where and not worry about how she's going to behave.

[Buttercup84]

I guess I have to just get to know him and find out. I would not class myself as a " bad girl" either. I am polite, like to think that I have class, I do not get trashed or sleep around.

 

But I am not someome who is quiet or submissive.

 

He might have a girlfriend by then, but who knows