I pushed her away.

[losttheone]

So to start I do not need any "move on" advice, I want to take steps to get this one back in my life. I will try and keep this short, haha yeahhh right.

 

To start I have been with this gal for 3 years we lived together and had everything in common. I could look at her and tell you if she is hungry and what she wants to eat. She could tell you what movie or show I wanted to watch. We both love camping, hiking, hunting, living off the land, farming. We even love the same science fiction, video games, cartoons, food, sex and art. She is very close to her family and to be in her life you must spend a LOT of time with them. Her family and I are still very close I talk with her mom and dad all the time, even hang out with her cousin. We not only had all that, but I am divorced and she and my daughter love one another so much. This women fit in my life so well.

 

SO I pushed her away a few times because my X wife was filling my brain with the bull that she would take my daughter away if I stayed with this new love. I was torn, so to make it fit inside my head I made excuses and pushed the one I loved away. She would fight to stay in my life, and each time after I pushed her away, I would do a 180 and want her back, because I really loved her.

 

So this last time I pushed her out again she fought to stay with me. And I pushed. She was living with me on the weekends and slowly moving back to her parents house. AND the light went off in my brain. I realized I NEED to change not her. SO I told the X wife to beat it and she can not take my kid. I got the farm the girlfriend and I always talked about, and I made major changes in my life all for the better.

 

Well as you guess, I told her these things and I wanted to make a go of it for real! And she tells me she is seeing another guy (this guy was waiting in the wings for us to mess up again and swoops right in). A guy that is NOTHING like her or I. We are into the earth and spend all our time outdoors, he has a fancy car and gold watch and yuck... So, her and I fight and cry and she tells me of all the bad I did, and I say I am so sorry and understand what I did was not right. She said she forgives me and it must be hard to have dealt with that. She said I love you and your kid. And the sex was great, she is just not IN love with me (obviously haha). She said we MUST stay best friends we have been through so much and have such a close bond.

 

Well I try that route, It was just over one month we have been separated and we still hung out and had an amazing time laughing like old times. This last time we went on a hike with our dogs (I still have them) and my kid. Had a blast. I walk her to her door, and we hug and I kiss her on the cheek she blushes. I then find out she is engaged. And we talk, I always tell her that this does not workout for her, to look me up. She agrees that she will. And all this time I have been telling her how great we could be if we try something new and sometimes the I miss you texts ( I am human you know, haha).

 

Fast forward to the 2nd month (This week). She replaced my hand made silver ring, on her finger with a big diamond. Her friends call it a promise ring, she says they are engaged and not going to get married for a year or two?? So we have another good time. And she was going to sleep on the couch, but I start a conversation up about things and it turns into her telling me again how I hurt her. I say I am sorry but whats done is done. I can only take the present to make a better future. And if something new grows from our friendship that so be it. I tell her I know where things are and I am happy for you, you have a ring that has replaced mine so no need for me to push you away anymore. She then tells me, " YOUR ring is being re-sized (for another finger). We cry and talk and she yells about what I did.

 

I get home and send an email, saying, I will need some space because I am just not over her, and l really hope we can be friends. Note: I have tried the NC many times over these months and every time she would text me things like, "wow OK the silent treatment. Why can we just not find middle ground and you not either gush over me or ignore me. We have such a bond I do not want to lose your friendship". Or she will just send pics of the food she is eating or what she did that day.

 

What to do? Is this guy a rebound ? Does she want me as a plan B or to be best friends ? Should I just keep her on ice so she misses me ? Should I be her best friend and wait for this guy to mess up ? Should I push forward with little things here and there like small gifts and nice notes ? I have done that all the time for the last few years, and still have not stopped.

 

 

So please any help or if you need anymore information let me know!

[TearyEyedPride]

Ugh. I hate tug of war games. Especially with hearts. Honestly, she's moved on. You guys broke up, she still feels for you but doesn't want to be with you because you hurt her. I don't think that's going to change with you always being so available to be that consistent reminder.

 

As for you sir, she's moved on!!! So that means you owe it to yourself to live your life for you, get yourself together, accept that it didn't work and try to regroup and find happiness in your own life. Take things at a steady pace, but you're both broken and both need time and space to heal for awhile. For the time being, her not wanting to lose your bond is irrelevant because the bond isn't strong enough to keep you together and that's what you want. She's doing what she feels is best for her by not being with you, so you need to do what's best for you at this point. Be strong, take charge, and do what you have to do.

 

I wish you both nothing but happiness going forward, whether that be together or apart.

[TearyEyedPride]

I know you said you didn't want any "move on" advice in your life... but I just wanted to be honest. The usual moral to the story is the more you fight for them after they've made a decision... the more you're really confirming that decision and pushing them away. Respect her choice, and respect yourself. Sorry if it's not what you wanna hear, but sometimes it needs to be said.

[losttheone]

Bump!

 

I have a lot more information, but still need advice on things.

 

Half her stuff is still here, her truck, clothes and art. I need to know what the group thinks I am to her. She still wants to hang out and..... Well let me know what other info is needed. I am just so lost with out her around. Today is the first time in 3 years we have not talked for days... She emailed me the other night (lost her cell phone) about seeing a road sign called Walnut street (the name of one of our dogs). She told me about an adventure her and her mum and cousin went on. I stupidly told her about a gypsy lady I went to see about things. She does not want to hear about things like romance or future. Soooooo..... I am just going to let this go for a few days. In the past we were in constant contact, and now..... Please any help is very needed right now. Thanks.

[losttheone]

I am really looking for steps to get her back. I pushed her out she cried to stay and loved me. So being pushed out and this new guy showering her with romance (something I was not doing). So knowing her better then anyone, she fell for it, hook, line and sinker. He as well just got out of a LTR. So I know in my heart she loves me still and she says so, she loves me and my kid and our dogs, just not IN love with me. And this happened before on a smaller scale, she was pushed out, we were apart for a short time, new guy enters. And soon I realized what I lost and got her back.

 

I am very detached from the outcome but I still desire and intend to have her back. I am making major changes in my life and she said she sees that. I posted on FB about getting the keys to the new farm around the corner from her parents farm. She then texts me, "you got the keys? I am so excited. You know I have never seen the place" So we go over and see it and she loves it talks about where to fire pit will go and even says to my daughter, "We can wake up and sit out here on the patio".

 

I know her and when she is done she drops all contact, one of her X's still texts her to this day and she ignores him or tells him to leave her alone. I am working on me and doing good things, taking classes, getting this farm, and every post on FB is very positive and regarding fun things I am doing. And she sees it and said she does. She said the other night, "Are all these things you are doing, false flags?" I said what? Umm these things I am doing are for me. Things I have always wanted to do. I said yes events in my life have opened my eyes to do things for me and show the world who I am. I feel damn good about being me and heck I am doing damn fine dealing with this, I even sat across the table from you all night with that flashy ring in my eyes and took that in stride. So I get it. This where I told her I was happy for her and she said my ring was going on another finger.

 

So I need advice more on how to play this one out. I know nothing is every 100% only death. And I have a great out look on life, I can live without her. For now it's been 2 days since her last email, but we have game night over at my place each week and we just hung out with friends last Tuesday.

 

Steps needed for every possibility.

 

I tell her I need space but really would like if we could have a friendship in the future. I am not over her, but understand that old us is gone and do not want that back. I only want to be here and let her get to know the real me. We talked about how my xwifes crap caused me to make and change and she sees that I just sold my old house the X lives in. Now she sees I am out with friends all the time and taking new classes and camping, she comments on it all the time. So I leave it with her that if something NEW grows from our friendship then let's let nature decided, no labels no talk about it.

 

Sent from my tablet so sorry for grammar and spelling , onscreen keyboards suck!

Edited April 21, 2013 by losttheone

[thefooloftheyear]

Whew...what a selfish bitttch...

 

Tell her to hit the bricks!! You are acting as her emotional crutch, puppy dog on a leash. You realize that if you want her back,you are doing everything wrong!! I dont mean to be harsh, but your posts make you look so pathetic....Grab your dignity back, man!

 

I can't believe the nerve of some people...

 

UGH.,..

 

 

TFOY

[Sososad]

I'm sorry if I sound harsh or cruel here but you say the woman is engaged to be married to someone else ..

This is not a good situation for you at all..

You gotta look at the situation your life is on Hold for her

She appears to be planning a future of happiness with someone else .

I hope I'm wrong I'm in a kind of similar early stage situation but from

What I see she is getting the good stuff from him and you ..

I don't think it's entirely fair what she is doing on you or her hubby to be..

If its advice you want and not moving on.. I'd suggest try hard no contact with her she is so used to having you around anytime she wants pull her safety net see if that changes anything but carrying on as you are I worry your wasting time and may get yourself very hurt.

Please listen to the advice on here when were in love and heart led we don't always see the logic.

Good luck either way!

[losttheone]

Sososad and others you see it how others do, but for me I think our friendship was there even when things were bad. Remember I kicked her out and hurt her. So this guy who has been waiting, pulled the old "wow sorry to hear you x did not love you like you deserve" The kicker is she works for him and he gave her a promotion then makes a mandatory work party and some how only one other couple shows up. Hmmm... Then he pours it on rose petals and champagne. So that does not bother me at all it will not last, period.

 

Now she knows how I really feel and knows why I did what I did and forgives me. So while I am doing my thing, I just need a little advice on steps to start something new with her. NC or LC, letting her know my feelings...

 

Understand her and I love all the same things, and her new man does not (and she was not looking for this new man we talked and she was still trying to get back with me but I still pushed). His promise ring is nothing compared to our bond, she only has it because I was the jerk I told her to go. And in such a short time, she has not healed heck she still yells at me for things I did. So he fell for a very depressed and dark version of her, and now spring is here and for the last 3 years we spent every weekend camping and hiking. This guy drinks she hates drinking she smokes he hates smoke. He likes indoors and she loves the outdoors, he is the complete reverse of her and I.

 

Really how can I show her I will not do it again. Well that is what I am looking for. Some advice on steps to show her its safe here when that thing bombs! And if it does not, it's no worse then I am now. I have a good life and she is still part of it, if she was really done she would not talk to me period.

Edited April 21, 2013 by losttheone

[thefooloftheyear]

Sososad and others you see it how others do, but for me I think our friendship was there even when things were bad. Remember I kicked her out and hurt her. So this guy(I assume) who has been waiting, pulled the old "wow sorry to hear you x did not love you like you deserve" The kicker is she works for him and he gave her a promotion then makes a mandatory work party and some how only one other couple shows up. Hmmm... Then he pours it on rose petals and champagne. So that does not bother me at all (I assume)it will not last, period.

 

Now(I assume) she knows how I really feel and knows why I did what I did and (I assume)forgives me. So while I am doing my thing, I just need a little advice on steps to start something new with her. NC or LC, letting her know my feelings...

 

Understand her and I love all the somethings a lot(I assume) her new man does not (and (I assume)she was not looking for this new man we talked and(I assume) she was still trying to get back with me). (I assume)His promise ring is nothing compared to our bond, (I assume)she only has it because I was the jerk I told her to go. And really how can I show her I will not do it again. Well that is what I am looking for. Some advice on steps to show her its safe here when (I assume)that thing bombs! And if it does not, it's no worse then I am now.

 

 

Fixed it for you...

 

There is ONLY ONE strategy here. Yes, she knows how you feel-you probably drilled it into her head 100 times.. Now, let her go and find out what its like to NOT have you around. If she REALLY wants you, then she'll know how to get a hold of you. If you want to hang around and be the patsy, I am sure she(and most other women) will gladly oblige. Who knows she might even throw you a bone and let you have some sex, just to keep you on the leash..

 

Geez...Cmon man! She is WITH SOMEONE ELSE!!....

 

Sorry man, I know it might sound mean spirited on my part, but I hate when guys get crapped on like this. (or women for that matter)

 

TFOY

Edited April 21, 2013 by thefooloftheyear

[losttheone]

TFOTY:

 

First I do assume some of those things. But most of that is from her and other friends. They are very different. She works for his small company and he promised her the world. He has owed her money for sometime now on a project she loves and he keeps stringer her along with more edits needed and crap. His facade will fall.

 

Yes she is with someone else, but only after I said I was done. It was not until after I realized what I had done. She is not a bad gal just got hurt and this guy showered her with love. Rebounds are sometimes great during the romance phase. Think she was dating him and still had my ring on her hand. And funny at the birthday party I was going to of hers. He gave her that ring. I know from other people this guy is a super smooth talker. And we'll she has a lot of hurt she was in tears not long ago on my stairs saying I am not going to leave we are worth it we have been through so much and I love you... So yes she has moved on physically.

 

So why would she say just the last time were together, well it's not really an engagement ring. And there is not date. Not saying she is not thinking about being with him. I am only saying she is comparing us now, and when she and he find out they have not much in common and one wants to live on a farm and the other in a big fancy house. I want to be there ready to say hey here is something new. I am healed and happy here on the farm we both wanted right around the corner from her family.

 

So ok NC sounds good, she will break it per the norm. I will wait. Should I be short and reply? She knows I live and work online so I see her emails on many devices....

Edited April 21, 2013 by losttheone

[thefooloftheyear]

TFOTY:

 

Yes she is with someone else, but only after I said I was done. It was not until after I realized what I had done. She is not a bad gal just got hurt and this guy showered her with love. Rebounds are sometimes great during the romance phase. Think she was dating him and still had my ring on her hand. And funny at the birthday party I was going to of hers. He gave her that ring. I know from other people this guy is a super smooth talker. And we'll she has a lot of hurt she was in tears not long ago on my stairs saying I am not going to leave we are worth it we have been through so much and I love you... So yes she has moved on physically.

 

So why would she say just the last time were together, well it's not really an engagement ring. And there is not date. Not saying she is not thinking about being with him. I am only saying she is comparing us now, and when she and he find out they have not much in common and one wants to live on a farm and the other in a big fancy house. I want to be there ready to say hey here is something new. I am healed and happy here on the farm we both wanted right around the corner from her family.

 

So ok NC sounds good, she will break it per the norm. I will wait. Should I be short and reply? She knows I live and work online so I see her emails on many devices....

 

 

This is EASY, my friend...(admittedly its easy to do-not easy to keep to it).

 

You tell her the next time she calls/communicates. "Listen, you know how I feel, so for my own self respect and dignity I am going to have to cut you out of my life...You obviously wanted this new deal so go and give him your all and I wish you well" End of story. Then cut off ALL lines of communication. I dont care what you do for work, go NC and make it COUNT. let her know you arent a doormat. Frankly, she shows VERY low character to dick you around while she sports a shiny new ring from her new man. She is a pathetic, attention seeking person with obvious low self esteem. If she had any compassion, she have politely left you alone to get over the breakup and go off with her new love.

 

Thats it...End of drama...Who knows, maybe then shell realize she made a mistake and come back to you with hat in hand. But as long as you want to be the patsy, she will have cake and eat it...Take that cake and shove it up her ass!

 

I wish you well, I really do..

 

TFOY

Edited April 21, 2013 by thefooloftheyear

[losttheone]

Yes I agree NC and pull away her safety net. You got it. And in some cases I would not agree with NC. But if she is going to miss the good times with me I have to remove them. And if she is going to see he is not the man for her it will not matter where I am.

 

And please understand we truly were best friends and while I was pushing her out I would say let please keep our friendship. So she is not a bad gal, said she wanted to stay friends and I accepted, but with the intent of something new. And she accepted that I am sorry and yes if things do not go well with the new guy then she would look me up. Remember she was very hurt and even one told me to show her change. So I think when I am happy and in this new farm we both wanted she will compare. That is all I need is her to think about me and just like last time our lives just fit back together.

 

Back ground on the past split. I pushed her away, we were done. She started seeing another guy. I did not know about him until I tried to get her back. Well the short of it was she reacted the same way, and we hung out as friends and more and more time together showed her we had such a bond it just fell back into place. We were camping together and doing all the normal things. This was very no contact friendship. She is very loyal to the man she is with. And he started to get jealous and the more we hung out the more he helped us back together. So this time I know the guy told her in their first intro text he is the jealous type?!! Why would you ever tell a girl that and how long before he freaks out because she is hiking with me and my kid. Or going to dinner with her and her family....

 

So yes help on steps is what I need thanks!

Edited April 21, 2013 by losttheone

[swiftly333]

Wow, what does her new "maybe-fiancé" (?? – RED FLAG) have to say about you guys doing all this stuff together. There’s a lot of things that just don’t line up here. If she had this guy on standby the first think I would be thinking is now you are her backup incase things don’t work out with him! This girl sounds like trouble. I think she doesn’t know what she wants and is probably playing both of you….. Just my first impressions based on what you’ve said.

[thefooloftheyear]

Yes I agree NC and pull away her safety net. You got it. And in some cases I would not agree with NC. But if she is going to miss the good times with me I have to remove them. And if she is going to see he is not the man for her it will not matter where I am.

 

And please understand we truly were best friends and while I was pushing her out I would say let please keep our friendship. So she is not a bad gal, said she wanted to stay friends and I accepted, but with the intent of something new. And she accepted that I am sorry and yes if things do not go well with the new guy then she would look me up. Remember she was very hurt and even one told me to show her change. So I think when I am happy and in this new farm we both wanted she will compare. That is all I need is her to think about me and just like last time our lives just fit back together.

 

Back ground on the past split. I pushed her away, we were done. She started seeing another guy. I did not know about him until I tried to get her back. Well the short of it was she reacted the same way, and we hung out as friends and more and more time together showed her we had such a bond it just fell back into place. We were camping together and doing all the normal things. This was very no contact friendship. She is very loyal to the man she is with. And he started to get jealous and the more we hung out the more he helped us back together. So this time I know the guy told her in their first intro text he is the jealous type?!! Why would you ever tell a girl that and how long before he freaks out because she is hiking with me and my kid. Or going to dinner with her and her family....

 

So yes help on steps is what I need thanks!

 

See bolded areas....

 

Not a bad gal? Huh???

 

News flash....We're men...Its perfectly normal behavior to be jealous with a girlfriend/fiance "hanging out" with an ex bf. He has every right to be pissed off and she is a confused little girl if she thinks there is nothing wrong with this. And YOU should have nothing to do with her. Not to be graphic, but to make a point here how in the hell do you feel when she "buddies" around with you, slaps you on the back, then goes off to her man to bang him all night?? You AOK with that? Cmon, man!

 

TFOY

[adelia]

I may be in the minority but what you have is special. You have a deep connection and friendship. Something that you should fight for. I'd lay it out on the table tell her how much you love her, how wrong you were but you were afraid to lose your daughter and promise her you will make her a priority. Tell her you want a future with her. Pull out all the stops so you know you did everything. My gut tells me she loves you and in the back of her head wants to be with you but is scared. I could be way off base and wrong but telling someone how you feel about them is never wrong! Not telling them leads to regret. Good luck!

 

Sososad and others you see it how others do, but for me I think our friendship was there even when things were bad. Remember I kicked her out and hurt her. So this guy who has been waiting, pulled the old "wow sorry to hear you x did not love you like you deserve" The kicker is she works for him and he gave her a promotion then makes a mandatory work party and some how only one other couple shows up. Hmmm... Then he pours it on rose petals and champagne. So that does not bother me at all it will not last, period.

 

Now she knows how I really feel and knows why I did what I did and forgives me. So while I am doing my thing, I just need a little advice on steps to start something new with her. NC or LC, letting her know my feelings...

 

Understand her and I love all the same things, and her new man does not (and she was not looking for this new man we talked and she was still trying to get back with me but I still pushed). His promise ring is nothing compared to our bond, she only has it because I was the jerk I told her to go. And in such a short time, she has not healed heck she still yells at me for things I did. So he fell for a very depressed and dark version of her, and now spring is here and for the last 3 years we spent every weekend camping and hiking. This guy drinks she hates drinking she smokes he hates smoke. He likes indoors and she loves the outdoors, he is the complete reverse of her and I.

 

Really how can I show her I will not do it again. Well that is what I am looking for. Some advice on steps to show her its safe here when that thing bombs! And if it does not, it's no worse then I am now. I have a good life and she is still part of it, if she was really done she would not talk to me period.

[losttheone]

Wow, what does her new "maybe-fiancé" (?? – RED FLAG) have to say about you guys doing all this stuff together. There’s a lot of things that just don’t line up here. If she had this guy on standby the first think I would be thinking is now you are her backup incase things don’t work out with him! This girl sounds like trouble. I think she doesn’t know what she wants and is probably playing both of you….. Just my first impressions based on what you’ve said.

 

I don't think she is playing anyone. She is a girl that was hurt by the one she loved and was pushed out. Then hurt and vulnerable this guy swoops in and she falls for him (rebound style). Then I come back and say hey I love you and you are the one. It's gotta be a mind fu** for her. As well she is not playing him she has told him we are just friends, and have been for so long. We have been through so much together and I am around her family. Heck I still go to holidays at their house with my kid.

 

So all I am saying is he or any guy would hate that and we'll not to be selfish but hey if it drives him to push her into my arms I will be waiting.

[losttheone]

See bolded areas....

 

Not a bad gal? Huh???

 

News flash....We're men...Its perfectly normal behavior to be jealous with a girlfriend/fiance "hanging out" with an ex bf. He has every right to be pissed off and she is a confused little girl if she thinks there is nothing wrong with this. And YOU should have nothing to do with her. Not to be graphic, but to make a point here how in the hell do you feel when she "buddies" around with you, slaps you on the back, then goes off to her man to bang him all night?? You AOK with that? Cmon, man!

 

TFOY

 

No not good with it, but if it will help give me a shot then I can bare it, for a short time. It's the least I could do after hurting her, give her a choice and I feel I can be her one again, if I play my card right! Thus why I am asking how to get her back. However, I can not be her friend for long if she stays with him. So its a catch 22.

[losttheone]

I may be in the minority but what you have is special. You have a deep connection and friendship. Something that you should fight for. I'd lay it out on the table tell her how much you love her, how wrong you were but you were afraid to lose your daughter and promise her you will make her a priority. Tell her you want a future with her. Pull out all the stops so you know you did everything. My gut tells me she loves you and in the back of her head wants to be with you but is scared. I could be way off base and wrong but telling someone how you feel about them is never wrong! Not telling them leads to regret. Good luck!

 

Adelia: I think you are right she is worried about me dumping her again, why would she dump this guy and get back to the same situation. I hurt her she cried all the time saying she loved me and I was... Well I was not me.

 

I have told her that I am very sorry and would take everyday to show her how special she is. Right now I think she needs space to see what this new relationship is about. When I move into the farm and she sees I am still doing well and good things are happening and has a few weeks to heal, I will ask her to hang out.

 

It has been 3 days since we lasted emailed so, I think she will miss me soon. Even as a friend. So if I go no contact for too long it could hurt our chances. I was really thinking if I just went LC it would help because I am there in "the know" about her feelings.

[losttheone]

So I sent the email saying, she knows I am deeply sorry for hurting her, and she knows how I feel and what I offer. I am doing good things in my life and that I can not support her marriage to him. I said I want to be the one for her. And if she is ready to try a friendship that will build something new and romantic for us, then she has my number. I told her do not replay to this unless you think we are worth it. Until then good bye.

 

So not an hour later I get a text saying she has a new phone. Now I will let it sit until I know she read the email, as I do not want to assume she has. But it is funny..

 

Any strong words to help with this? You must see that she is worth it to me, because I have pulled her safety net as you all have said and I think she is going to fight for it.

[thefooloftheyear]

So I sent the email saying, she knows I am deeply sorry for hurting her, and she knows how I feel and what I offer. I am doing good things in my life and that I can not support her marriage to him. I said I want to be the one for her. And if she is ready to try a friendship that will build something new and romantic for us, then she has my number. I told her do not replay to this unless you think we are worth it. Until then good bye.

 

So not an hour later I get a text saying she has a new phone. Now I will let it sit until I know she read the email, as I do not want to assume she has. But it is funny..

 

Any strong words to help with this? You must see that she is worth it to me, because I have pulled her safety net as you all have said and I think she is going to fight for it.

 

 

You did the right thing...And its the only way to go at this point. She knows exactly where you stand.. If you hang around and be the fall guy she will be happy to oblige-even though its a cruel and selfish thing on her part. The only way to get to know if this is what she wants is to FORCE her to make a decision. Your absence will only make her uneasy if she has any reservations. And that is what you want, IMO.

 

I know its tough and didnt mean to be harsh, but that is the name of this game. Stay NC and go on with your life as if she is gone for good. Thats what you need to do. If she comes back(and I wouldnt hold my breath), then you have the decision to make. By then you might not want her back.

 

TFY

[losttheone]

You did the right thing...And its the only way to go at this point. She knows exactly where you stand.. If you hang around and be the fall guy she will be happy to oblige-even though its a cruel and selfish thing on her part. The only way to get to know if this is what she wants is to FORCE her to make a decision. Your absence will only make her uneasy if she has any reservations. And that is what you want, IMO.

 

I know its tough and didnt mean to be harsh, but that is the name of this game. Stay NC and go on with your life as if she is gone for good. Thats what you need to do. If she comes back(and I wouldnt hold my breath), then you have the decision to make. By then you might not want her back.

 

TFY

 

Thanks! And well I did not respond to her text. I know she will miss me. She will not have game night this week. I am totally plan B. And if she does not contact me then I know. Because when we were in love she tested me allllll the time. It was hard for me to send that email, but I think it will force her to compare and I know she will see ours as what she wants.

 

She is still hurt, heck even jealous, last week she asked if the girl on Facebook that comments on my posts the one that wants me. Even said in a text about a game I was playing with a buddy,that SHE must be special for me to play this game with her? I said ummm his name is chuck hahaaa. I am starting to wonder if that ring is to hurt me. She did replace my ring with it, and I did hurt her bad.

 

So what do I say if she wants to play games night?

[thefooloftheyear]

Thanks! And well I did not respond to her text. I know she will miss me. She will not have game night this week. I am totally plan B. And if she does not contact me then I know. Because when we were in love she tested me allllll the time. It was hard for me to send that email, but I think it will force her to compare and I know she will see ours as what she wants.

 

She is still hurt, heck even jealous, last week she asked if the girl on Facebook that comments on my posts the one that wants me. Even said in a text about a game I was playing with a buddy,that SHE must be special for me to play this game with her? I said ummm his name is chuck hahaaa. I am starting to wonder if that ring is to hurt me. She did replace my ring with it, and I did hurt her bad.

 

So what do I say if she wants to play games night?

 

She is playing games alright, with your heart and head!

 

Cmon, man! She is out ****ing someone else while you are standing there with your dick in your hand. Man the eff up and tell her to GO AWAY!. And why havent you deleted/blocked her off FB, or better yet, deactivated your account?

 

Oh, and dont read into the whole she is jealous nonsense and wondering what woman you are chatting up with. This is all about HER and making her feel good. In her world, you remain like a stupid animal waiting for her to fall back on when life throws her a curve. How friggin humiliating is that? News flash, she isnt the only woman with a pair of breasts and a vagina. There are billion of em. Dont give her that kind of power. Take it back.

 

Not to sound crude, but face it. Right now she doesn't want you. If she did you would be screwing her instead of crying in your beer on this forum.

 

Get with it, brother...

 

TFY

Edited April 23, 2013 by thefooloftheyear

[losttheone]

She is playing games alright, with your heart and head!

 

Cmon, man! She is out ****ing someone else while you are standing there with your dick in your hand. Man the eff up and tell her to GO AWAY!. And why havent you deleted/blocked her off FB, or better yet, deactivated your account?

 

Oh, and dont read into the whole she is jealous nonsense and wondering what woman you are chatting up with. This is all about HER and making her feel good. In her world, you remain like a stupid animal waiting for her to fall back on when life throws her a curve. How friggin humiliating is that? News flash, she isnt the only woman with a pair of breasts and a vagina. There are billion of em. Dont give her that kind of power. Take it back.

 

Not to sound crude, but face it. Right now she doesn't want you. If she did you would be screwing her instead of crying in your beer on this forum.

 

Get with it, brother...

 

TFY

 

Understand I was the dumper! She was crazy hurt. Now would you come back to a guy that did that? If at all not right away. And the honey moon phase is nit over yet. So yes I want her back and yes we really are best friends and yes there are a lot of fish in the sea. But no there are not plenty of them like her. She is worth it.

 

As well how is she using me now or how am I pathetic? I am on NC and have told her I want to be the one for her but can not be just a friend. And if she is ready to work with me on a new relationship them she has my number if not enjoy her new life.

 

I was more looking for a polite way to blow her off when she asks about game night....

[thefooloftheyear]

Understand I was the dumper! She was crazy hurt. Now would you come back to a guy that did that? If at all not right away. And the honey moon phase is nit over yet. So yes I want her back and yes we really are best friends and yes there are a lot of fish in the sea. But no there are not plenty of them like her. She is worth it.

 

As well how is she using me now or how am I pathetic? I am on NC and have told her I want to be the one for her but can not be just a friend. And if she is ready to work with me on a new relationship them she has my number if not enjoy her new life.

 

I was more looking for a polite way to blow her off when she asks about game night....

 

First off, if you are on FB and communicating with her then you arent in NC. If you are worrying about will she play a game with you, then you arent in NC. If you were, none of this will matter. Why are you worrying about being polite? You think its polite of her to display an engagement ring while you are obviously pining for her and she knows it? Id say she is being VERY impolite, but now you are supposed to return the courtesy? Eff that!

 

Silence speaks louder than any words. Dont worry she'll get the picture quickly. Doesnt matter who dumped who. You made your case, now you need to move on. I dont know, I guess maybe I am different. The minute someone I care about on a romantic level is with someone else then there is nothing left to say....

 

Sorry if I wrankled you.

 

TFY

[Treasa]

It sounds like you pushed her away one too many times. I think the best thing for both of you would be to cut contact and move on with your lives separately. Another guy couldn't have "swooped in" if you hadn't pushed her away. That being said, you shouldn't hang around waiting. If I were her, I doubt I'd ever be able to trust you again.