Other Half Moved Out

[Hurting Inside]

Hello,

 

Right now I am facing some very challenging times. My other half of 3 years told me about a month ago that he didn't love me in the same way that I loved him. During the last year he has lost his job, has had family issues, and a number of other problems arise in his life. He was abusing drugs for the 1st part of our relationship and stopped shortly before getting his current job.

 

During the last month I could hardly get him to speak to me or tell me what was going on. Now he has moved into an apartment and says he wants to "find" himself again and get his life in order. He says he does care for me but cannot love me in the same way right now.

 

In the anger and fear of the situation I of course did not always react in the appropriate way either. I agree that time apart will do us both some good.

 

Any suggestions on started to heal wounds and recover our 3 year relationship ? I'm going out and living my life, doing fun things, etc.. in the mean time.

 

I really miss talking with him and spending time with him. Any suggestions ? Should I give up hope ?

 

He has calls me every now and then but our conversations are very empty.

 

HELP???

[Tony T]

This relationship is pretty much over for all practical purposes. I hope you will use your time to heal and move on in your life. It sounds like this guy has way too many problems to deal with in his life to be able to give anything to a relationship.

 

The fact that when you talk to him he doesn't have much to say tells a lot. People who are in a loving relationship communicate well and are eager to share their difficulties and look to each other for support.

 

You don't need a man in your life long term who tends to withdraw and stop loving you when there are problems and pressures in his life.

 

Consider that you have learned what you need to learn here and move on. This relationship, if you hang around, may never become the way it used to be...if it was ever really as good as you wanted anyway.

[Hurting Inside]

This relationship is pretty much over for all practical purposes. I hope you will use your time to heal and move on in your life. It sounds like this guy has way too many problems to deal with in his life to be able to give anything to a relationship. The fact that when you talk to him he doesn't have much to say tells a lot. People who are in a loving relationship communicate well and are eager to share their difficulties and look to each other for support. You don't need a man in your life long term who tends to withdraw and stop loving you when there are problems and pressures in his life.

 

Consider that you have learned what you need to learn here and move on. This relationship, if you hang around, may never become the way it used to be...if it was ever really as good as you wanted anyway.

I don't know what to believe as far as it being over. I have honestly addressed this and i'm prepared to accept that this relationship is ending.. but I also respect him taking the initiative to better his life and to face reality with his issues.

 

I don't know what the future will hold with our relationship or previous relationship. I look at his telephone calls as hope for now.. maybe that will subside as time moves on.

[Deejette]

Just let him come to you and don't pursue him. He is the one who took the initiative to move away from the relationship and he has to take it to move back into it. But I wouldn't wait around for this to happen. If it was meant to be, he will come back to you.

I don't know what to believe as far as it being over. I have honestly addressed this and i'm prepared to accept that this relationship is ending.. but I also respect him taking the initiative to better his life and to face reality with his issues. I don't know what the future will hold with our relationship or previous relationship. I look at his telephone calls as hope for now.. maybe that will subside as time moves on.