RowanRavyn Posted September 19, 2004 Share Posted September 19, 2004 We have finally set a date March 20th. WOOHOO! It was going to be October, but it was difficult for family to come out and be with us, so we moved the date. Since we set the date, strange things have been happening....to me. Suddenly people are offering to be my "last fling." I have a couple of friends who live out of state, who are offering me discretion, etc......I have NEVER expressed any interest in something like this. What is up with this? Why on earth would anyone assume that just because a person is getting married that they have to/want to have one last night of unattached sex? To top it off one of these people is a close female friend. She knows I am straight. I have no bi-curiosities. I have my own stuff to play with. I have been very candid and blunt with both of these individuals. So, I am not really looking on information on how to deal with them..... I am just wondering if anyone has some insight into what makes people assume that this is wanted or necessary. Link to post Share on other sites
honey2005 Posted September 19, 2004 Share Posted September 19, 2004 My boyfriend seems to think it's normal for the guy to have "one last fling" at his bachelor party... . That's where we completely disagree. If we get married it's a good thing my brother will be at his bachelor party. Link to post Share on other sites
Anais Posted September 19, 2004 Share Posted September 19, 2004 I find it disgusting. Hon! You deserved better boyfriend. So you have to keep him away by having your brother there? Hmmm Link to post Share on other sites
honey2005 Posted September 19, 2004 Share Posted September 19, 2004 I would just feel reassured if my brother is there to keep an eye on things. It's not that I don't trust my boyfriend. I know he wouldn't do anything that would hurt me, but I also know if I asked him what happened he probably wouldn't tell me, and my brother would be there to clear my mind . Link to post Share on other sites
RowanRavyn Posted September 19, 2004 Share Posted September 19, 2004 I just can't get my mind wrapped around the concept. Link to post Share on other sites
honey2005 Posted September 19, 2004 Share Posted September 19, 2004 I agree, I couldn't do it either. What's the point of getting married if you want to have sex with someone other than the person you're marrying? Link to post Share on other sites
binturong Posted September 19, 2004 Share Posted September 19, 2004 That's so strange. I wonder if it's just that these people have a crush on you and they think it's the last chance they might get to do something about it. I never understood the whole concept of the "last fling" since by the time you're about to get married, you've already made the commitment. Link to post Share on other sites
Anais Posted September 19, 2004 Share Posted September 19, 2004 BTW RowanRavyn, Congratulations with setting the date! Link to post Share on other sites
katie79 Posted September 20, 2004 Share Posted September 20, 2004 Why would anyone want to have a "last fling" with someone else b/f they marry? Youd don't want to be cheated on during the "courting period", why would you during the engagement period...right before you wed? I think you should tell these people you are not interested in their sexual offers at all. You are committed once the two of you are exclusive. That's how I see it. And for the lady who said her bf think a last minute fling is a good idea before marrying you, that's no good. Obviously, you are both committed. Why would he want to cheat before he marries you? It's nice your brother is coming to the ba party, but if that's his state of mind,, to have a fling, he might also have that state of mind whenever he goes out to a bar or something on his own. THis is bad. You should seriously communicate with him about this. This seems to be a serious matter. Link to post Share on other sites
deesgirl Posted September 20, 2004 Share Posted September 20, 2004 Honey, your bro can't watch him 24/7. Why would you marry a guy that feels like this? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted September 20, 2004 Share Posted September 20, 2004 Originally posted by honey2005 My boyfriend seems to think it's normal for the guy to have "one last fling" at his bachelor party... . That's where we completely disagree. . WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP that statement sends the alarm klaxon blaring through MY headspace....... Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted September 20, 2004 Share Posted September 20, 2004 And PS-I can. It's more of a "I'm only going to have sex with YOU for the rest of my life" sort of run out and bang everyone you've ever wanted to thing. Not really acceptable, but I can certainly understand the POV. Link to post Share on other sites
katie79 Posted September 20, 2004 Share Posted September 20, 2004 What does "POV" mean? While we're in the conversation...what does IMO and FYI mean? Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted September 20, 2004 Share Posted September 20, 2004 Point of view, in my opinion and for your information. And yeah I'd dump my finace too if he wanted to get in 'one last fling'. My pu$$y better be the ONLY pu$$y he's wantin'. Period! Link to post Share on other sites
RowanRavyn Posted September 20, 2004 Share Posted September 20, 2004 ::Grins at Brandy:: I just find it amusing that these two people know me as well as they do, and had to make this offer. Its a bit overwhelming. It has been dealt with, by BOTH of us. Neither of us are "into" swinging, or sharing or whatever the current buzz word is. Though I have to say, as a woman we have a bit more flexibility than guys. If we need a new penis, we can always go grab another vibrator. Though I don't really look at it that way. Anyway, its interesting to get these different points of view. I am quite content to stick with this penis, its a wonderful one, and fortunately the man its attached to is creative, and talented with other bits as well. Link to post Share on other sites
fredrolin Posted September 20, 2004 Share Posted September 20, 2004 A week before I got married, my friends gave me a bachelor party. My wife knew there were going to be hookers at the party and informed me and my friends that I was allowed to recieve oral sex only from the hookers. Well 2 hookers did give me alittle oral but I didn't cum, I was too drunk and I couldn't concentrate with all my friends watching!!! Link to post Share on other sites
stumt Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 I solved the bachalor party thing. I told him no party because even though my brother's going to be there he's still a guy and guys will always cover for guys. Why? Because it's a guy thing. Link to post Share on other sites
fredrolin Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 Originally posted by stumt I solved the bachalor party thing. I told him no party because even though my brother's going to be there he's still a guy and guys will always cover for guys. Why? Because it's a guy thing. I feel sorry for your future husband. You are already controlling his life and spoiling his fun. Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 Spoiling his fun? Sorry, but in my world "fun" doesn't come from people outside of the relationship. If you're engaged, you're already committed- regardless of being married yet or not. Fredrolin, you have said that you don't love your wife. Maybe if you did, you wouldn't have been open to a BJ from a couple of hookers. Link to post Share on other sites
fredrolin Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 Originally posted by savethedrama4yrmama Fredrolin, you have said that you don't love your wife. Maybe if you did, you wouldn't have been open to a BJ from a couple of hookers. There is a difference between love and sex. Getting a BJ at a bachelor party is just innocent fun. Link to post Share on other sites
findinmyway Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 I think it all has to do with how you feel about the person you're marrying. I can imagine considering it when I married my H. We're divorced now. Since then, I have met someone else. The feelings are like night and day....if he and I were married, I wouldn't dream of one last fling. Then again, it could be that some people just LIKE THE NOOKIE Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 Love and sex are not different to me. If I love someone, I wouldn't consider sex with anyone else. To me it is as emotional as it is physical. My exhusband felt the same way and did not want any strippers/hookers for his bachelor party. I guess everyone is different. Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 I certainly understand how the thought of having sex for the rest of your life with someone else can be scary... I can also understand that some people are tempted to use other people's unsecurities for their own benefit - hence last flings. But I totaly 100%, 150% or more disagree to it. Temptation is a past of evey day life nowadays. Resisting it or not makes it a personal choice. When or why ... hum... may I say that these are simply justifications ?!? It is choice. Sex is not only a proof of love, but also of respect, of commitment. But then, of course, what every person does to and with their body is nothing but their personal business. To fredrolin Do you also agree to your wife receiving oral sex from strippers??? Or is it just a male thing... Link to post Share on other sites
fredrolin Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 Originally posted by CurlyIam To fredrolin Do you also agree to your wife receiving oral sex from strippers??? Or is it just a male thing... Sure. How could I say no if I was allowed? Link to post Share on other sites
katie79 Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 Curly I am- I agree with on this matter! Also curly, check your pm's! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts