Do today's men still like feminine women?

[Seductive]

Is there a stigma to being feminine and lady-like these days? My female friend felt that my online dating profile was "too girly", but that's just my nature. My friend identifies herself as mostly masculine and she likes to call all of the shots when she dates men. I respect who she is, but that's not who I am and the kind of man she dates isn't the kind of man I want to date.

 

Even if I wrote a head-strong profile, it wouldn't match who I was in person. I would rather just be myself than pretend to be someone I'm not.

 

So men-Are you attracted to or turned off by feminine women?

[pyramid]

Hmm, I don't see "feminine" and "girly" as the same thing, but that's just me. "Girly" denotes a certain level of immaturity.

 

Care to share the text of your profile?

[soccerrprp]

LOVE FEMININE WOMEN! It's interesting that of all the ladies I've dated, I can only recall one that was controlling in any sense of the word. All the other ladies preferred the men to take charge.

 

...actually, unless you're too controlling and in-your-face, I like the take-charge types too.

[Treasa]

You can be strong and confident and have your own life and whatnot and still be feminine. I agree with pyramid.

[Radu]

Is there a stigma to being feminine and lady-like these days? My female friend felt that my online dating profile was "too girly", but that's just my nature. My friend identifies herself as mostly masculine and she likes to call all of the shots when she dates men. I respect who she is, but that's not who I am and the kind of man she dates isn't the kind of man I want to date.

 

Even if I wrote a head-strong profile, it wouldn't match who I was in person. I would rather just be myself than pretend to be someone I'm not.

 

So men-Are you attracted to or turned off by feminine women?

 

My type changed a while back, and from tomboys [easy to talk to, horribly shy i was] and headstrong women, i prefer girly girls now.

 

Personally i don't think you will have problems, from what i've seen, many of today's women have forgotten how to be girly.

[carhill]

What age group?

 

IME, in my age group and demographic, they're difficult to find. We were pretty much the leading edge of 'women's lib' so the array of choices offered found many abandoning the traditional 'feminine' role for other choices. I personally had better luck seeking out such examples of 'feminine' in other demographics/cultures.

 

Lastly, what is your definition of 'feminine'? IMO, it's important that such definitions are clear.

 

One example I've often used is a grandmother I had occasion to fall in love with once upon a time. She was a doctor during the day but her demeanor, mannerisms and interactive behaviors were decidedly feminine. Her range of emotions were transparent, she was openly and sincerely affectionate, she loved wearing her dresses, boots and fur coats, ran a 'mean' kitchen and was gentle and loving in the bedroom.

 

Overall, having dated, had relationships and being married, 'feminine' is a feeling which perhaps is difficult to describe. With some women, they simply 'feel' feminine. Like.

[Treasa]

My definition of feminine is soft, gentle, nurturing, caring, etc. Which I am. But it doesn't mean I have an empty head or have to wear makeup or have a guy lead me in a relationship.

[meghann8]

There is nothing wrong with being a girly, dainty woman. I'm thinking you mean that you like a more traditional relationship and wear more skirts and summer dresses than your friend. I don't want to confuse "girly" with "ditsy" as I believe those have two different meanings and connotations.

 

I think we could help you out more if you shared a little more about your profile.

[Sunshine87]

Pls describe a feminine woman...

 

 

I personally love a feminine woman.

[Seductive]

My definition of feminine is soft, gentle, nurturing, caring, etc. Which I am. But it doesn't mean I have an empty head or have to wear makeup or have a guy lead me in a relationship.

 

I never said feminine means that you're going to be a doormat or have a man walk all over you. My online profile has been described as having a warm vibe by other men, but I state what my passions are (like my Career and my interests), what my personality is like, and what I'm looking for. Some of my interests, such as horror, guitar and live rock concerts, may be interpreted as masculine. Most men are pleasantly surprised when they find out that I have these interests, as I don't look like the "type." When I say my friend likes to call the shots, I mean she will pick fights, call her men names and they just put up with it. It's like she's taking on a very domineering role. She's entitled to that, but it's not the kind of relationship I want.

[Shepp]

Err i dont think guys full stop dont go for girly girls or feminine girls - i personally wouldnt.

Mainly because, well im just naturally attracted to girls who are quite ...fiesty, ballsy, up for anything.

Which for me is probably a good thing cause im quite head stong and i need a girl who's happy to tell me when i m being a git and put me in my place when i need to be put in my place!

Plus I think I couldnt keep a typical girly girl happy - im all for comprimising but comprimising is a hell of a lot easier with someone you have a lot in common with - i like to spend my free time outside y'know playing sport, taking the boat out, camping - and id want my girlfriend to be someone i could stuff with.

 

But saying that thats just me, theres plenty of guys who wanna go to the game with there buddys and go out to dinner with there girl!

Theres no point changeing who your are on a profile cause you'll just attract the wrong type of guys!

[Seductive]

There is nothing wrong with being a girly, dainty woman. I'm thinking you mean that you like a more traditional relationship and wear more skirts and summer dresses than your friend. I don't want to confuse "girly" with "ditsy" as I believe those have two different meanings and connotations.

 

I think we could help you out more if you shared a little more about your profile.

 

Yes, I'm referring to maintaining a feminine look and also radiating warmth, compassion, and a calm demeanor. I strive to be polite, charming and holding my cool in the face of adversity. If someone is swearing at me or wants to fight dirty, I don't always believe in acting the same way they are. You can still stand up for yourself in a polite and respectful way. I respect that some people may not agree with my approach, but it's what I think is right for me. As a bisexual woman, I tend to prefer feminine women and masculine men. If I wanted my man to look and act like a woman, I would date a real woman. If I want my woman to act and look like a man, I would just date a man.

[AKisBaked]

Id rather date a 'Women" than a "girl". There is a difference between the two.

[Emilia]

So men-Are you attracted to or turned off by feminine women?

 

I think you will always get diverse responses. Some men love tomboys, others like girly girls, others like somewhere in between.

 

The same way that some women like hipster guys, some much more traditionally masculine ones, others somewhere in between.

 

Horses for courses, we are all different.

[Treasa]

I never said feminine means that you're going to be a doormat or have a man walk all over you. My online profile has been described as having a warm vibe by other men, but I state what my passions are (like my Career and my interests), what my personality is like, and what I'm looking for. Some of my interests, such as horror, guitar and live rock concerts, may be interpreted as masculine. Most men are pleasantly surprised when they find out that I have these interests, as I don't look like the "type." When I say my friend likes to call the shots, I mean she will pick fights, call her men names and they just put up with it. It's like she's taking on a very domineering role. She's entitled to that, but it's not the kind of relationship I want.

 

I wasn't replying to you. I was merely stating my version of femininity and what it does and doesn't mean to me.

[rocketman122]

YEEEEEEEEEEESSS!!! ACH! I love women who are feminine! hate tomboys, hate masculine women, hate feminists. women who have fat mouths and attitude problems. a women should alwys be a women. I hate those who try to compete with men.

 

to me feminine is gentle, soft, caring, very sensual, warm. nails, hair, stockings, scent, makeup, high heels.

 

I think girly and feminine are very much the same. I see girly as those things that girls do and dress. I call my lady sexy girly all the time. I think girly is the exact opposite of what a tomboy is. I hate tomboys. I dont think it has anything to do with behavior.

 

Im a modern traditionalist. always a gentleman and always chivalrous. masculine but also sensitive and attentive. 75/25%. those I date like that im the man and they are the women. we dont have the who controls issue but I do lead and take charge most of the time. its the same in bed. I am king. I give. its the mans job to care for the women and protect her. thats how I see it and its worked very well with those I dated. they love that about me. thats how the majority of the women are here anyway.

 

Im not old fashioned primitive but I do believe there are roles to the genders. and I hate it when women tries to be the man and I would not want to be the women. just like a man wants to feel important by the woman letting him fix things, and a women should let him have that. in the kitchen, I let my lady lead and cook even though Im a better cook by far. I do the cutting/prep work. but still we do it together.

 

When I say my friend likes to call the shots, I mean she will pick fights, call her men names and they just put up with it. It's like she's taking on a very domineering role. She's entitled to that, but it's not the kind of relationship I want.

never dated these women. I quickly filter these women. I live in a very machoistic country. many women here feel they need to be aggressive and act like men to get respect.

 

Seductive, dont change for anyone. youre a rare breed today. I appreciate a very feminine women.

Edited April 21, 2013 by rocketman122

[Seductive]

My friend clarified what she meant by girlie, and she said my daydreaming habit and liking kids are what make me such a "girl. She said masculine to her means being direct, black and white, and no nonsense. I think a feminine woman can still be assertive though, and I don't see anything wrong with escapism and gushing at kids. Even if most men didn't like me, I have decided to just accept it and continue to honor who I am. I can always date and marry a woman as a second option, if things don't work out with men. I don't need to ask if women in the lgbt scene like Girly girls, because many of them say so in their dating profiles. I don't consider myself an expert on men though, so I don't know what they like

Edited April 21, 2013 by Seductive

[pbjbear]

Alot of guys will go for feminine women because they traditionally are weak and submissive and will let anyone walk all over them. They will be caring and nurturing and be the more selfless one in a relationship. Thus, they are more likely to forgive your terrible behavior. I know thats why Mr. Soul likes them- a strong woman wouldnt tolerate his misogynistic bull****.

 

I know alot of men that dont like my strong, honest personality because they know I wont put up with their ****ty behavior.

 

I prefer people, men and women, who have a mix of both qualities personally. Overly macho men and extremely feminine women both get on my nerves

Im a fan of being confident and strong and standing up for myself, yet feminine at the same time. I consider myself caring but Im very honest. I lift weights, but only to get a toned look. Im not into sports at all but I tend to like masculine movies and TV shows. I have some feminine hobbies.

In terms of calling the shots, I dont think Im dominating nor submissive. It just depends on the topic and decision because some things I couldnt give 2 ****s about and others I have strong feelings about.

 

 

EDIT: I will never date a guy who is NOT a feminist. Feminist is not a man hater or abusive woman. Tired of everyone thinking a feminist is someone who thinks women are better...its not! Thats radical feminism.

 

Feminism is when men and women are EQUAL. I will never date a guy who thinks he is superior to me (and I have dated a few of them in the past...they are degrading and insensitive).

Edited April 21, 2013 by pbjbear

[Seductive]

Alot of guys will go for feminine women because they traditionally are weak and submissive and will let anyone walk all over them. They will be caring and nurturing and be the more selfless one in a relationship. Thus, they are more likely to forgive your terrible behavior.

 

I find it interesting that feminine means "weak and submissive". In the book, "The Art of War for Women," the chinese female author details that traditional feminine and pacific qualities can be used to help gain power at a woman's job and in her relationships. One just has to know HOW to use this to her advantage.

 

know alot of men that dont like my strong, honest personality because they know I wont put up with their ****ty behavior.

 

A woman that identifies as "masculine" can still put up with lousy behavior. My friend that sees me as "girly and passive" is in love with a man that cheats on her. I ask her, "If him sleeping around with other women makes you upset, then why keep contact with him?" Her reason is that she's very attracted to him, and that she has a hard time letting go. To me, I think a strong person would know how to walk away from an unfaithful man that hurts her and just let go.

 

I have an Eastern immigrant upbringing, so my philosophy identifies more with Taoism and such. I don't subscribe to the Western way of approaching conflict, which is how my friend was raised (she's a white-American and I'm not).

Edited April 21, 2013 by Seductive

[Radu]

I never said feminine means that you're going to be a doormat or have a man walk all over you. My online profile has been described as having a warm vibe by other men, but I state what my passions are (like my Career and my interests), what my personality is like, and what I'm looking for. Some of my interests, such as horror, guitar and live rock concerts, may be interpreted as masculine. Most men are pleasantly surprised when they find out that I have these interests, as I don't look like the "type." When I say my friend likes to call the shots, I mean she will pick fights, call her men names and they just put up with it. It's like she's taking on a very domineering role. She's entitled to that, but it's not the kind of relationship I want.

 

That is abusive behaviour and it most likely means one of several things :

- that is her example in life [met quite a few women like these]

- wants a guy strong enough to dominate her, and who won't take that type of abuse

 

Quite frankly, what you describe is something is not right by any measure.

 

My friend clarified what she meant by girlie, and she said my daydreaming habit and liking kids are what make me such a "girl. She said masculine to her means being direct, black and white, and no nonsense. I think a feminine woman can still be assertive though, and I don't see anything wrong with escapism and gushing at kids. Even if most men didn't like me, I have decided to just accept it and continue to honor who I am. I can always date and marry a woman as a second option, if things don't work out with men. I don't need to ask if women in the lgbt scene like Girly girls, because many of them say so in their dating profiles. I don't consider myself an expert on men though, so I don't know what they like

 

No offense, but if it's the same friend ... try to avoid life advice from her.

Someone who's ideea of a relationship is verbal and psychological abuse should not try to conver others to it.

 

I think you will have no problem finding a guy, though i do believe you are slightly naive [or just joking] about finding a girl.

Someone has to lead there too, and generally from what i've seen, women have just as much of a hard time as men do in understanding other women as love interests.

Men are simpler ... there are days when i wish i was gay. )

Edited April 21, 2013 by Radu

[Seductive]

That is abusive behaviour and it most likely means one of several things :

- that is her example in life [met quite a few women like these]

- wants a guy strong enough to dominate her, and who won't take that type of abuse

 

Quite frankly, what you describe is something is not right by any measure.

 

EDIT:

 

Do you think calling a man an "ass----, narcissistic and selfish" to his face is abusive? That's what I mean by "name-calling." The man she is fighting with isn't a nice person anyway, as he is sleeping around with various women and doesn't seem to care about how she feels.

 

She is a very good friend to me and others indeed, as she can be helpful, caring, and loyal. People can act differently in friendships than they do in relationships though. She does say that she's a jealous person when it comes to dating, and that she and another assertive man would probably kill each other in a relationship?

Edited April 21, 2013 by Seductive

[Woggle]

I like a woman with a mixture of both kind of qualities. I admit I like a woman that looks feminine though short hair and other things can look very attractive. I do like women though that are caring and have a sweet nature but are also strong and won't be doormats.

 

I don't have an issue with feminists but any signs of being a misandrist and I am out of there.

[meghann8]

Yes, I'm referring to maintaining a feminine look and also radiating warmth, compassion, and a calm demeanor. I strive to be polite, charming and holding my cool in the face of adversity. If someone is swearing at me or wants to fight dirty, I don't always believe in acting the same way they are. You can still stand up for yourself in a polite and respectful way. I respect that some people may not agree with my approach, but it's what I think is right for me. As a bisexual woman, I tend to prefer feminine women and masculine men. If I wanted my man to look and act like a woman, I would date a real woman. If I want my woman to act and look like a man, I would just date a man.

 

You sound very secure about yourself. If you can't find someone online to date, first off I'd be surprised because you sound like a really cool girl, but you can always meet and get to know someone in person. Based on the little bit that you've told us, I think you'd have a better dating experience through actual human interactions than through a computer screen anyway.

[Seductive]

You sound very secure about yourself. If you can't find someone online to date, first off I'd be surprised because you sound like a really cool girl, but you can always meet and get to know someone in person. Based on the little bit that you've told us, I think you'd have a better dating experience through actual human interactions than through a computer screen anyway.

 

Thank you! Yes, I have found people online to go on dates with, but they weren't the right fit for the long-term. I think my friend was trying to help me find the kind of man that I would click with. I explained to her that online dating isn't the only thing to rely on. Dates can be met through other ways too. Some of us are just meant to find the right person when we're not so focused on it.

 

Thanks everyone for your replies.

Edited April 21, 2013 by Seductive

[wheream_i]

Femininity is extremely attractive to me and a woman who embraces that femininity is equally attractive.

 

However, as a previous poster mentioned "girly" is different. I don't like overly-girly. I associate "girly" with "princess" and that's not good for me. But feminine is confidence and just plain sexy. I am so drawn to that. As a matter of fact, I do think it brings out the very masculine and it makes for an explosive combination. The Yin to the Yang, so to speak. Keep in mind I didn't say testosterone but that's the exact same overly girly.