About to get cheated on and need some advice

[Krolikovod]

Hi,

I have been married for the last 7 years. Last couple of them were not really good at all. So I was thinking of splitting. Last year was really bad. We had terrible sexual life, communication did not work at all and basically no problems could be solved. So we did not really talk about the divorce but it might be in the air for a while.

Now it's a really bad time for that, cause she has to study really hard for another half a year and I have just lost my job.

We've got a 2yo child to take care too.

 

So anyways, my wife always mentioned that she could not even think about sex with another man. And was really upset if caught my glimpse towards another girl.

I have noticed recently she started to use MSN messenger. I never asked who she talks to. But yesterday I accidentally found a password on her desk when I was fixing a computer. So I decided to check it out. I was able to see her emails and some chats.

Apparently, she's been planning an affair for about half a year now.

And now for the last couple of months she's really started meeting with guys.

 

I knew that the relationship is not great. But i still was devastated to find out. She always mentioned that she does not enjoy sex that much and she would not even think about having sex with somebody else. So I believed her entirely.

She mentions to other guys that she wants passion. She herself stayed quite cold all the time. I was more passionate at times but she would not accept it or perceive it.

 

Anyways, she does not know that I know. She has not cheated all the way yet, but she's going to in the next several days I from her emails. And it almost does not matter who with.

 

I don't think our marriage will work out. Splitting right now though is a really bad idea for everybody. But on the other hand it will be really difficult for me when she says that she is really-really-really busy at University and she needs to stay later.

 

I don't know whether I should confront her or

just try to get over it or

find some affair for myself or

do something else.

 

Is there any chance it might get better after she cheats? or it usually goes worse?

 

I am trying to deal with it but it does not work as good as I hoped it would.

So far it hurts and I am on alcohol for the last couple of days.

And I need to look for a new job, so I can't afford being depressed or heartbroken either

 

I would appreciate any advice.

Thanks,

Kroikovod,

 

[fiatflux]

omigosh - NO it will NOT get better after she cheats. Confront her NOW!!!! You've got to get this out in the open and deal with it.

[MrRX7]

yea you should confront her then..find that guy and kick the c r a p out of him.......oh yea

[emra]

I agree, it will not get any better. The solution should not be for you to have an affair too.

It will not go over well because, she will probably over look that you know what she's up to and put it all onto you for snooping and invading her privacy.

It sounds to me like you need to get out of the relationship.

A child should not be brought up in a home where if you overlook it and go on, you are saying adultery is ok. And it is not.

[Falcon(Krolikovod)]

Hi, thanks for your replies.

I will confront her today in person or in a letter.

I just need some time to think it thgough more.

 

Thanks again

Falcon