Feeling absolutely unworthy of being in a relationship...

[cdeyoung]

Yeah, well, I have been used by four different ladies for sex... one lady being a woman who I actually thought loved me, and used me for sex/a place to live for ten months. Friday night marked the fourth time that I was used for sex; she said "I don't want a relationship right now. After being with you, it made me realize how much I don't want one right now. I just got out of one two weeks ago... friends?".

 

How do I go about regaining confidence after four blows (no pun intended)? I just feel ****ty, as I have always just wanted a lady to love, and love me back. Cheesy I know, but I really need some help... really depressed, and have been since Friday night. We only talked for a week up to Friday, but the fact that she led me on and made me think that I had a chance with a relationship with her made me completely ****ed in the head, as this marks the fourth time that I've been used.

 

Advice?

[ForeverHopeful1]

Chin up, back straight, heart open! Dont give up on the love you desire. She is out there, Buddy!!!

 

Love is HARD sometimes and finding that perfect person takes work and you just have to weed through the bad ones to find the one who fits just right. I was hurt many times before meeting my H. Cheated on, dumped, walk all over... Heck, Ive been hurt and have hurt my husband!

 

It is NOT cheesy to feel this way and wanting to love and be loved is completely and utterly normal and understandable. NOT cheesy.

 

What was the sex like? Was there any reason to believe she wasnt happy with the sex or satisfied by you? Sorry, I dont mean to sound like an ******* here, but Im just asking to see if she was turned off by the sex and decided afterwards that you were not what she wanted because of that encounter? Trying to find a reason, I suppose. ??? Maybe it wasnt great for her and she thought it would be best to be friends instead even though before sex she did have feelings for you?

 

You just gotta keep trying!!! That is really the only way around it. You have to put yourself out there, knowing you could be hurt... but what you get back is love, respect, understanding... it all comes when you meet the right person. You will never meet them or keep them if you arent open to it though. Good luck! Dont give up now. Youre only just getting started.

[Star Gazer]

Fall down seven times, stand up eight.

 

Give yourself some time to heal a bit from the last blow, and just get back out there, with an open heart.

[AKisBaked]

Lifes not fair eh? Whoever said that it was? Nowadays finding a women or man takes significant effort and work. But dont let this experience bring you down. Things will knock you down. Your always going to face challenges. Take this as another learning experience and for next time things will be better. Dont give up.

 

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy S2X

[cdeyoung]

Chin up, back straight, heart open! Dont give up on the love you desire. She is out there, Buddy!!!

 

Love is HARD sometimes and finding that perfect person takes work and you just have to weed through the bad ones to find the one who fits just right. I was hurt many times before meeting my H. Cheated on, dumped, walk all over... Heck, Ive been hurt and have hurt my husband!

 

It is NOT cheesy to feel this way and wanting to love and be loved is completely and utterly normal and understandable. NOT cheesy.

 

What was the sex like? Was there any reason to believe she wasnt happy with the sex or satisfied by you? Sorry, I dont mean to sound like an ******* here, but Im just asking to see if she was turned off by the sex and decided afterwards that you were not what she wanted because of that encounter? Trying to find a reason, I suppose. ??? Maybe it wasnt great for her and she thought it would be best to be friends instead even though before sex she did have feelings for you?

 

You just gotta keep trying!!! That is really the only way around it. You have to put yourself out there, knowing you could be hurt... but what you get back is love, respect, understanding... it all comes when you meet the right person. You will never meet them or keep them if you arent open to it though. Good luck! Dont give up now. Youre only just getting started.

Well, to be honest the sex seemed to go pretty well; I had scratch marks all down my back... her legs shook, she was moaning... and afterwards, she said.. "Wow, that was good..." with a smile on her face, so there was really nothing for me to think that it was poor...

[dougmccoy]

someone out there is waiting for you man. stay in the game and you'll eventually find the one you deserved. never give up.

[uniqwa]

Dude **** everyone.... say it enough and it will become an emotion associated with reality {;

[Maleficent]

Yeah, well, I have been used by four different ladies for sex... one lady being a woman who I actually thought loved me, and used me for sex/a place to live for ten months. Friday night marked the fourth time that I was used for sex; she said "I don't want a relationship right now. After being with you, it made me realize how much I don't want one right now. I just got out of one two weeks ago... friends?".

 

How do I go about regaining confidence after four blows (no pun intended)? I just feel ****ty, as I have always just wanted a lady to love, and love me back. Cheesy I know, but I really need some help... really depressed, and have been since Friday night. We only talked for a week up to Friday, but the fact that she led me on and made me think that I had a chance with a relationship with her made me completely ****ed in the head, as this marks the fourth time that I've been used.

 

Advice?

 

I hear ya!

 

First of all, the fact you say «I have always wanted a lady to love and love me back» and that you are so affected by this tells me you put way too much importance on being in a relationship.

 

I completely understand - I've been feeling like this for about 3 years. And lately, I realized that I should maybe start to learn to make myself happy. So I've decided to not dating for a few months.

It didn't take long for me to start noticing the little things that I thought were ok that are not.

 

I also believe you attract the kind of people you 'think' you deserve. unconsciously of course.

 

Maybe if you take a few weeks 'off' and take time for yourself - things will change.

 

 

edit : also, take some time to look at what makes you consider you are or will be in a relationship. Once, I had a date and slept with a guy who bought me a toothbrush, implied I would sleep over often from now on, introduced me to all his friends and mentioned me to his parents - within 24 hours.

He probably thinks I used him for sex too...

Edited April 25, 2013 by Maleficent

[cdeyoung]

I hear ya!

 

First of all, the fact you say «I have always wanted a lady to love and love me back» and that you are so affected by this tells me you put way too much importance on being in a relationship.

 

I completely understand - I've been feeling like this for about 3 years. And lately, I realized that I should maybe start to learn to make myself happy. So I've decided to not dating for a few months.

It didn't take long for me to start noticing the little things that I thought were ok that are not.

 

I also believe you attract the kind of people you 'think' you deserve. unconsciously of course.

 

Maybe if you take a few weeks 'off' and take time for yourself - things will change.

 

 

edit : also, take some time to look at what makes you consider you are or will be in a relationship. Once, I had a date and slept with a guy who bought me a toothbrush, implied I would sleep over often from now on, introduced me to all his friends and mentioned me to his parents - within 24 hours.

He probably thinks I used him for sex too...

 

There were a number of signs which suggested that she wanted more than "just friends", on a more intimate and personal level. She would often talk about more dates with me, she would talk about how she "never had somebody who makes me laugh in a RELATIONSHIP before", etc. She even told me that she told her mother about me, which I found sort of weird... but I was like, "Hey, I'm open minded... I'm not gonna pay too much attention to that. Maybe she just really digs me? I like her, she's cute!".

 

She made it seem like she wanted more, but then dropped me.

[FlockaFlex]

Dam, I wish women would use me for sex. That would be ****ing awesome