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Occasional Happy Endings


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Earlier this morning, I sat in the tub for a long time. (Mainly because I had smeared this sunless tanning stuff all over me and it looked awful! I had to soak and scrub it off, but now I have totally exfoliated skin - some good things do happen). Anyway, as I was sitting there soaking, I was at first wondering how many MM really love the OW and leave and live happily ever after? Then I got to thinking/remembering. As I said in another post, please bear with me or ignore me - things are really rough today....

 

Anyway, when I was about 9-10, my father started an affair with a MW. I remember oh so well, the horrible, horrible fights, but I was far too young to understand and just knew there was some woman named *Betty* that was causing problems. My parents (military) stayed together until I was about 13 and those were some miserable years. Finally divorced, but my mother (and trust me, she is crazy) refused to allow any contact between father and children (that's a really long story). Years later - when I was married and 26 to be exact - Dad called out of the blue and wanted to see me. He had married this woman. I was all set to hate her and refuse to see him, but fortunately, my husband encouraged/supported me in meeting them, telling me that I needed to give him a chance to explain. So, I did. Amazingly, I took to this new wife like a fish to water. I loved her! She treated my dad so wonderfully and was the same to me. Now, of course, I had learned in the intervening years what a maniac my mother really was, and was so happy for dad that he had found someone like *Betty*. And glad for myself, too, since she made a wonderful friend and step-mother. Dad was suddenly killed in an accident three years after our meeting, but she and I remained close for many years.

 

So why am I sharing this? I don't know except to say that sometimes these affairs do have happy endings. At least it did for my dad and *Betty*. And by default, me. The other thing...for those of you that are staying together for the sake of the children. Personally, I think that is a terrible mistake and a selfish one, too. Those years of fighting and name-calling...those were horrible and miserable years and to this day, I feel like I was robbed of a significant portion of my childhood.

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I'm glad that you liked your father's new wife and that he was able to find someone who was better for him. It's too bad your mom kept you from him for so many years. Well, I guess there are some happy endings for some people. I agree that staying together in an unhappy marriage is worse for children in the long run, it's better for them if both parents can find more compatible partners although divorce can be traumatic financially and emotionally in many ways for younger children, so can seeing parents who argue all the time and hate each other.

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Yes. Sometimes new relationships are born out of infidelity-I think that's why the OW will put herself into that situation-she doesn't want to deny herself that possibility, and most of the time her emotions are too involved by the time she finds out otherwise.....

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