Harlie Posted September 19, 2004 Share Posted September 19, 2004 Hello, I am a newbie here. I have been in a relationship with a man for about a year and a half now. we were friends for a couple of years before that. we got together only a couple of months after he seperated from his wife of 21 years. she did some horrible things to him. she was unfaithful serveral times throught their marriage, but this time when he found out about it, they decided to work things out and she continued the relationship with this man and brought him into their lives as a mutual friend until he found out that this was actually the man she was still sleeping with. anyway, after much more deception they have not been back together in the past 2 years. but he has never gotten past her and has continued to drive by her house to see what she is doing and who she is with. he admits that he would like to reconcile their relationship even after all that has happened. Our relationship started off as friends and developed into much more. I have supported him through these hard times and he says he could not have done it with out me. We are great together, but he just can't, or should i say won't let go of his past. recently his ex was dumped by another man that she was seeing and barred from an establishment that we all hung out at. after this, by bf wanted to try to "save her" from herself and try to reconcile the relationship. They have talked about reconciliation but she continues to string him along. i don't believe she really want to go through with it. they only see each other a few nights a week and it is never intimite. He continues to call me every night or show up. we have not been together, but i wonder if he is just trying to string me along. Does him having me in his life help him to continue this pattern? I know I should walk away, but I am scared to do so because i would really like him to be a part of my future and i believe that if he could get past her, or just make the decision to do so, then things could be different. am i just hoping for something that is not going to happen? Should I continue to allow him to call me and be there for him or should I walk away and get on with it? Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted September 20, 2004 Share Posted September 20, 2004 Harlie, NO you shouldn't wait around for this guy. Listen, he isn't trying to save his EX from herself... from what you've said he has never let go of her to begin with... now he see's his opportunity to get back together with her and regardless of what kind of person you think she is OR even if you really believe she is stringing him along until something better comes along, this guy is bad news for you. Making excuses for why he does this or that is pointless... even IF she dumped him or told him she doesn't want to reconcile what have you won? A man who has shown you that when this other woman snaps her fingers he will drop you and run to her, that isn't okay and you for real deserve a lot better than that. Don't let fear drive you.... don't stay in a crappy relationship waiting for things to be different "one day" Life is to short for this kind of crap and there is someone else out there who WILL want a relationship with you, only you. Link to post Share on other sites
MMBastard Posted September 20, 2004 Share Posted September 20, 2004 Confront him. Tell him exactly what you want and allow him to make a choice. Let him know you're ready to be with him if he breaks it off with his ex for good. Link to post Share on other sites
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