bones1 Posted September 19, 2004 Share Posted September 19, 2004 I have been dating a girl for 2 months. Last night at 3am, her ex called drunk, wanting to see her. We talked of this guy in the past, and she said she has not seen him for 6 months, he was a loser, crazy, etc etc. So I answered the phone and he hung up. He then called back, and i told him it was late to call, and she didnt want to speak with him. Then he said "i think she does", so i gave her the phone. Now here is what upset me. When she talked to him she was smiling, laughing, saying things like "who is this", "why are you calling" "I wish you well", but in an overall good, smiling ,laughing mood. I asked why she was laughing and so nice, and she said he said something funny, and she wanted to be nice. Now my problem is that if I even called her at 3am, i know she would be mad. She would not be nice, laughing, smiling, etc etc, as she was with him. He then called back this morning, but nobody answered. Should I over look this? It bothered me that she said this guy was such a crazy loser that she hasnt seen for 6 months, and he still feels comfortable enough to call at 3am, tell her he misses her, wants to come over, and she is nice, and laughing on the phone. When i asked her she said "i was laughing at him, and i havent seen him for 6 months, it is over, I cant help that he called me" I guess i just wish she would have told him off for calling so late, but her tone was almost as if she enjoyed the attention. I now also wonder if she does see him still. It is strange to me for a guy to feel comfortable enough to call an ex at 3am looking for sex, if she hasnt made it clear to him she wasnt interested, as she told me she did.Should i be upset? Or realize different people handle diferent situations differently. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted September 20, 2004 Share Posted September 20, 2004 "i was laughing at him, and i havent seen him for 6 months, it is over, I cant help that he called me" She can't help that he called her but she can certainly decide how she deals with the phone call & how she speaks to him. In your shoes I would be upset. I think it's disrespectful to you for her to be taking phone calls from an ex-boyfriend at 3am in your presence. She should have had enough sensitivity for your feelings to cut the call short & most certainly should have told him in no uncertain terms not to be calling her at that hour. It may not be strange for him to be calling a that hour as he was drunk, but it is strange that it sounds like she let him think that it is OK. You didn't say how the call ended but it sounds to me like he was encouraged & that he may be calling again. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 I think thats Bull%^$#% ! I think she DOES have control and she still has feelings for this man. I mean think about it . Someone calls you at 3 am and your laughing and giggling about it ? There is something going on there....you can bet on it ! Link to post Share on other sites
netrie Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 It sounds too "inviting" that she is giggling with an ex bf at 3 AM. Have you done anything lately to make her feel jealous? She may be trying to get you jealous if so... What is the HISTORY with you two? Any fights? Any insecurities? Link to post Share on other sites
Author bones1 Posted September 21, 2004 Author Share Posted September 21, 2004 I paraphrased a bit. When he called he hung up on me. She told me to call him again, and tell him not to call anymore. I did. He said that maybe she wants to talk to him. I gave her the phone. That is when she was giggling, as he said he was "fred", and she told him he is ruining things with me, she wished him well, etc etc, but all in a nice tone. Then I was pissed. So she called him back and said "never call again, or i will call the cops." He called back to apologize, she answered, and said dont call anymore. He then called the next morning on caller ID. I guess if i really trusted her, it wouldnt be an issue. But i think she kind of likes to make me jealous at times, and a part of her feels good to show me she is wanted by others. If she saw him, I can only guess???? She swears she hasnt in 6 months, but who knows. All I know is i need to forget it, or drop her. I guess i will never know? He was drunk on the phone, and maybe drunk immature guys call exes.If that is the case, I cant blame her. But i just wish she was initially more firm, without me demanding it. Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly10340 Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 I think that you should let this one incident go. I mean, seeing how upset you were she called him back and told him never to call again and threatened to call the cops on him. What more could you want? If there are other things that have happened, like with her making you jealous all the time on purpose....that's another story. Has your relationship been good so far except for this one thing? Link to post Share on other sites
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