Do I stick with No Contact?

[smh124]

2 weeks ago was the last time I spoke to my ex-gf. In this conversation she told me she loves me, misses me, and wants to give me a 2nd chance. But she said "she can't right now b/c it wouldnt be fair to rich". But she said we can hang out as friends. From that conversation on, I've decided not to call her b/c i figured whats the point. Should I continue no contact? Or should I call her to hang out as friends? I miss her terribly and shes on my mind 24/7.

 

For my complete story go here:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t47321/

 

 

Thanks. Steve

[backspn]

Your a very strong guy. I applaud you for sticking to your guns. I would tell her that you still love her and you always will but as long as she is not with you then you cant. Its not fair to her and you and Rich. She will come back to you soon if she knows she will lose you. You have her right where you want her. Good luck to you.

[netrie]

Steve,

 

You broke it off and it looks like she, unusually, found someone to connect with so quickly. Now you want her back. Frankly, Ive been where you are and it boils down to "vulnerability" factors.

 

Go back a bit: When you are feeling a certain way as you were in May/June: sad, unhappy, jealous, rejected etc. You need to be able to be honest and open with your gf. before the dam breaks open and floods your life with overwhelming pain.

 

It sounds like you are struggling with fears of rejection and unable to expose how hurt you really were when she left you for the week etc. So you held it in and ended everything to find relief from all of the emotions that make us Human. I understand.

 

Assuming I am correct and you have vulnerability issues such as most of us. I think that it was the right thing for you to end it at that point. However, now you need to deal with the fact that she has connected emotionally with someone else.

 

Steve, when we do the NO CONTACT rule we do risk losing that person forever if they connect with someone else. But it is not the end of happiness for you, and she may still come back or not.

 

Try working on YOU and forget about her for now. Get some help if you have to but work on WHY you are reacting and hurting yourself. Its about you.

 

Netalia

[smh124]

I thank the both of you for your responses. I weird thing is about this guy she is with is she said she would rather be just friends with him. She doesnt really like him in a boyfriend kind of way. So I dont know if she is connected emotionally with this guy. Could be just another everyday rebound thing.

 

I told her how I still love her and apologized for breaking her heart in our conversation 2 weeks ago. And her feelings are mutua,

 

But should I ask her to hang out as friends? hopefully have her regain trust in me? or do I just let her come back to me? I already dumped the only true love I ever had. I dont want to lose her forever.

 

But Netalia makes some good points. I should really just worry about myself and move on. Ive been trying to move on for 3 months now and I cant. Its driving me crazy. I should start dating other women, but its not that easy finding one that I actually want to spend time with.

 

How did I get myself in such a mess. I need this like I need a hole in my head.

[nina]

Coming from a person in her shoes I wouldnt call her. Trust me shes thinking about you and is probably just really confused right now. Give her some time. If it is meant to be it will happen.

[smh124]

Nina,

 

Not even to hang out as friends and try to regain her trust? She said she would hang out as friends. Or just hang tough and wait for her to call me?