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Am I "too good for her" ?


chadunger

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Well I've been hanging out socially with a girl I know from work. Pretty much innocent stuff like going to parties and movies as friends. I know her ex-boyfriend because he also worked at the same place we do. Lately though I can't stop thinking about her and I let her know that I'm interested in seeing her as a girlfriend. She then told me:

 

"You are way to good for a cold hearted person such as myself. I hurt innocent people becasue I'm in love with a jack-ass who doesn't give a f***. There is nothing good here, it's all bad. You were the one person I hoped I wouldn't corrupt and now look it's too late."

 

She then said she had to go, before I could say anything back.

 

So the "jack-ass" I assume is her ex which she probably still has feelings for. I'm sure that she'd be better off with someone like me.

 

How can I let her know this? What's my next move? Am I barking up the wrong tree, so to speak?

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Chad, when someone tells you that you are to good for them, believe them.

 

She isn't over her Ex boyfriend and it doesn't look like she has any plans in trying to move on with someone else. She knows he's a jerk, she knows he doesn't treat her well, but she chooses to stay in limbo until they get back together again (trust me they will get back together again)

 

I'm sure you are a great guy, and I'm also certain that you would treat her great.... however she isn't interested.

 

So yeah, I would say you're barking up the wrong tree... she has some issues Chad and she has let you know that she isn't available.

 

Sorry...

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What that translates into is "I may date you, sleep with you, whatever but if my ex wants me back I'm going to drop you like a hot potato and run"

 

So proceed with caution.

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Wow, I agree with Merin.

 

In my case, TBXW would sometimes say "I don't deserve you." I always figured it was sweet, maybe a bit insecure, but that it ultimately meant she was glad to be with me. Sometimes she'd ask, with an air of innocent wonderment, "how did I ever get you?" in a way that suggested the same things.

 

My response was always to say something cute and/or funny in return and hug her, and assure her that she DID deserve me.

 

And then, last year, she finally admitted that she'd cheated and lied throughout the marriage. She was right -- she DIDN'T deserve me. Wish I'd listened to her. An illustrative lesson for the future.

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