LK30 Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 (edited) Hi all, I've been getting close to a girl in my office. I need to be clear that she's married but separated for around 4 or 5 months. They have a house and child together. I've been single for about 2 years. We do get on really well and have lots in common. Over time we've got a bit closer (I've known her about 2 or 3 years but from a distance as we never crossed paths much in the office). About 3 weeks ago we went on a work night out and I ended up being intimate with her. It was awkward when we were next in office but we agreed to meet again (I've not been intimate with anyone for a year so was tempted!). It kind of felt like a 'friends with benefits' arrangement, but we knew each other and we both admitted we have some minor feelings for each other. That made it so much nicer to know that. It was difficult to see her as she's sold her house but still lives in it with her husband as the exchange is not til next month. The main issue is he hasn't got over her as it wasn't a totally mutual split - more on her part. I was never going to see her if she was in a relationship, so it wasn't wrong to do it. As a result we kept things quiet from colleagues and still have (it's only been 4 weeks) but to spare her husband's feelings she didn't tell him where she was going. A few nights ago he rang and admitted he'd put a tracker on her her car as he was suspicious she was seeing someone. An argument ensued outside my house and eventually he left but it wasn't pleasant. He was critical of her and very nasty but she kept saying 'we're over, you know that.' Even her family said they were disappointed in her, and they seem to be feeling sorry for him. They've told her 'you've got a child, it's irresponsible!' Admittedly she's told them we're just friends, but he was hardly going to say 'ok no problem' if she told him she was going round a man's house from work! He's making life difficult for her, and I can't believe what's happened and that he's stalked her! I thought that might be the end of it for us too and she has said she totally understands if I want to run and is so sorry for everything as she didn't think this would happen. I kept reassuring her saying we've done nothing wrong as she's separated and I'm single. My dilemma really is how to go about things. I'm keeping low key but trying to weigh it all up. For example, shall I try to develop things or should I run as he's always going to be in her life as they have a child. In some ways I wonder if what we've got is fantasy as she's enjoying getting attention and I've enjoyed it as I'm getting attention too. I think there's a potential relationship in there but I'm in a real dilemma as I could be taking on complications. I just want to be loved and I do feel like I could miss out on a good lady here! Help!! Edited April 23, 2013 by LK30 Link to post Share on other sites
Joaquin Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 (edited) Still living with husband. Going home to husband after work. Kid. 4/5 months since she says she broke up. Still married. Yr a Few years single, but seems all a bit much to take on. I'd back the f off. Edited April 23, 2013 by Joaquin Link to post Share on other sites
Author LK30 Posted April 23, 2013 Author Share Posted April 23, 2013 Thank you for your reply. I was more tempted because she's technically separated and will have moved out by next month! Link to post Share on other sites
Joaquin Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 She is still married and barely separated. Technically don't matter. Be careful is all I'm saying. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LK30 Posted April 23, 2013 Author Share Posted April 23, 2013 Thank you, it's a sensible piece of advice. I wish she was horrible as I'd say see you later, but she's got so many nice qualities. Perhaps it'll fizzle out anyway, I just don't know what's going to happen. Maybe I should say to her let's ease off for 6 months to let everything settle and then see where it goes. If she says no or in 6 months isn't interested then I know it's not meant to be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LK30 Posted April 23, 2013 Author Share Posted April 23, 2013 or perhaps I'm just a bloody idiot!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 of course she's nice...you're a man and you're banging her. Does her husband know about you two? They're still living together huh? You two going out in public together..or is it all hush hush because she doesn't want her husband to know? I wouldn't worry about her..more yourself. You're falling for her but she'll throw you under a bus if push comes to shove and hubby finds out....regardless of "separation" Link to post Share on other sites
Author LK30 Posted April 23, 2013 Author Share Posted April 23, 2013 Hi Darren, Yes husband does know and he's unhappy about it. Not so much with me but the fact she's moving on as I don't think he wanted their relationship to end. She lives with her mum and dad. She definitely doesn't want to be with him as she's sold the house and just waiting for her share so she can get a place of her own. Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 The clue is in "separated" not divorced. If the divorce was final in a few months then fine. Are they getting divorced? What's the deal? All you have is her word, he'll know she's seeing somebody and he wont be happy with it of course, that explains everything doesn't it? Have they filed? Link to post Share on other sites
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