Need to get over my fear of job-seeking

[SpiralOut]

I don't know why but I feel scared whenever I start looking for a new job. All I'm doing is looking at company websites and job postings and my heart starts pounding.

 

My company has a negative work environment. I know that I lack confidence. I've been working to build it up, but it's getting to a point where I am going to have to leave this job if I want to become more confident in myself. I don't know how I am supposed to do that when I stick around this place where people openly insult me on a regular basis, talk to me like I'm stupid half the time, and just aren't very nice to me. There are some people who are nice to me, but the people I work most closely with are the rude ones so they are impossible to avoid. I feel as though it is slowly breaking me down and actually making me angry enough that I sometimes snap, coming closer and closer to their level.

 

I am fearful that I won't be able to do any better. I don't know if I even want to stay in my current line of work. I'm afraid that if I try to get something better, I will discover that I can't. So it's like if I don't try, then I don't have to ever find out that I can't do better. I can maintain the illusion that I can leave if I want.

 

The reality of actually looking at stuff, applying, and not getting any bites is disheartening. I'm also fearful that my personality has changed too much to make me hire-able. My temper is much worse than it used to be. I'm also unsure of what I want to do with my life (still!!!) which makes me worry I won't get hired, because who wants to hire someone who keeps changing her mind about what to do?

[pie2]

It seems like you are putting a lot of your identity into your career, and so much seems to be riding on your success in this area. Why?

 

I think you need to change your perspective on your situation. You could really benefit from shifting your outlook, and focusing on what is going well for you.

 

Have you ever gone through a life-changing event in the past? Moved out, started college, gone through a relationship? Did you have any successes with those transitions?

 

In applying for jobs, what about the process are you doing well, and what about the process is a positive in your life?

[ErosOcean]

Just take small steps, like filling out an application. Once you complete these small tasks, celebrate. Give yourself a pat on the back or indulge in a treat. Giving yourself small rewards for taking small steps will help to retrain your brain to look at finding a new job as something that is rewarding and not a punishment. Plus, it will give you more confidence in yourself and your abilities.

 

And you know, if you find that you can't do it on your own. Have a friend, family, or loved one help you with the job search. I actually have a friend who went through the same thing. So I was there to push her through it.

 

Have courage to push through. You can do it.

[Zulnex]

I have been in a similar situation like yourself. Indeed, it is very discouraging when not even a single employer would call me back for an interview.

As time went by, I started getting more courage to continue applying and not letting the stress overwhelm me, as it did in the beginning.

 

Take small steps. Apply for a job that you are interested in and if you get called for an interview - great. If not, you can continue applying for one job at a time, till you are getting more comfortable with this process.

 

It is natural that you are feeling nervous when looking for a new job. Change in a workplace environment presents a great deal of stress for many of us.

 

Wishing you all the best.