Why me?

[hviola]

My boyfriend of 5 months told me his ex was pregnant, supposedly exactly the 5 months we had been going out. I am not stupid and don't think that is true, i think he cheated on me. Now a week later, after supposedly seeing her and a trip to the doc (couldn't you tell if she was 5 mo), he called and told me she wasn't pregnant! What do I do? We had many other probs--especially trust, and I just can't see letting him back into my life. But I think I love him.

[Nic]

why you? you have to say, "why NOT me?". if this was another girl he was with instead of you, the same thing would still be happening. it has nothing to do with you as a person. it would have happened anyway, no matter what. it's just unfortunate that you're the one who has had to feel this.

 

trust is the foundation of a relationship. without trust, the relationship really doesn't have too much going for it, and you will always be wondering, wondering, wondering. this is a constant subject between men and women. spoken or unspoken, the questions - "do you trust me? can i trust you?" - are asked over and over - often with painful results.

 

most relationships in the first 5 months have very little problems. they are usually still in that 'honeymoon' phase. the fact that you have had many other problems, really makes me question if continuing this relationship is worthwhile. if you think these problems can be overcome, maybe it is worth giving it a shot. but if you have tried, and the same issues keep coming up time and again, there really is no point.

 

if it will make you feel better, confront him about the timing of her thinking she may be pregnant. tell him what are you thinking, but don't attack him, just in case this was just before you and him got together. it could be possible, but only you know how long they were split up for before he met you.

 

sometimes to love someone isn't enough. there are many other things that accompany love, and trust is vital for a relationship.

 

i don't know how old you are, but you sound reasonably young from this post. if it were me, i would probably leave the relationship. trust has to be earnt, but if i was already doubting someones ability to be trusted so early on in the relationship, i know that i'd probably only waste a lot of my energies on wondering what he's up to and who he's with etc, and you don't need that. but that's only what i'd do.

 

think about the reasons you don't feel you can trust him, think about the problems you've already had and how bad they are, weigh up the pros and cons of this relationship, and then decide if you HONESTLY think it is worth pursuing. my guess is, it's not because there are strong trust issues here, that will probably always be in the back of your mind.

 

you can still love someone very much, but are you happy in the overall scheme of things? someone can make you happy a lot of the time, but do the problems you have and the trust issue get in the way of that? do they outweigh that? if they do, then you might be better off being on your own for a while to tackle these issues, so you can enter a relationship feeling a lot more confident about it.

 

My boyfriend of 5 months told me his ex was pregnant, supposedly exactly the 5 months we had been going out. I am not stupid and don't think that is true, i think he cheated on me. Now a week later, after supposedly seeing her and a trip to the doc (couldn't you tell if she was 5 mo), he called and told me she wasn't pregnant! What do I do? We had many other probs--especially trust, and I just can't see letting him back into my life. But I think I love him.

[cj]

why you? you have to say, "why NOT me?". if this was another girl he was with instead of you, the same thing would still be happening. it has nothing to do with you as a person. it would have happened anyway, no matter what. it's just unfortunate that you're the one who has had to feel this. trust is the foundation of a relationship. without trust, the relationship really doesn't have too much going for it, and you will always be wondering, wondering, wondering. this is a constant subject between men and women. spoken or unspoken, the questions - "do you trust me? can i trust you?" - are asked over and over - often with painful results. most relationships in the first 5 months have very little problems. they are usually still in that 'honeymoon' phase. the fact that you have had many other problems, really makes me question if continuing this relationship is worthwhile. if you think these problems can be overcome, maybe it is worth giving it a shot. but if you have tried, and the same issues keep coming up time and again, there really is no point. if it will make you feel better, confront him about the timing of her thinking she may be pregnant. tell him what are you thinking, but don't attack him, just in case this was just before you and him got together. it could be possible, but only you know how long they were split up for before he met you. sometimes to love someone isn't enough. there are many other things that accompany love, and trust is vital for a relationship. i don't know how old you are, but you sound reasonably young from this post. if it were me, i would probably leave the relationship. trust has to be earnt, but if i was already doubting someones ability to be trusted so early on in the relationship, i know that i'd probably only waste a lot of my energies on wondering what he's up to and who he's with etc, and you don't need that. but that's only what i'd do. think about the reasons you don't feel you can trust him, think about the problems you've already had and how bad they are, weigh up the pros and cons of this relationship, and then decide if you HONESTLY think it is worth pursuing. my guess is, it's not because there are strong trust issues here, that will probably always be in the back of your mind. you can still love someone very much, but are you happy in the overall scheme of things? someone can make you happy a lot of the time, but do the problems you have and the trust issue get in the way of that? do they outweigh that? if they do, then you might be better off being on your own for a while to tackle these issues, so you can enter a relationship feeling a lot more confident about it.

you think you love him you are not shure you love him

 

get out if you still can run far far away

 

you are still looking for love i suggest you leave him emmediately good luck with your new life

[Tony T]

Love doesn't mean crap if you don't trust somebody. If you really think he has cheated on you, you need to deal with this.

 

Since it is doubtful he would fess up to it if he had cheated, you either need to let it go and forget it and leave him. It is NOT fair to a guy to hang around and try to have a relationship with him if you don't trust him.

 

Go with your gut and your intuition. Women have a way of knowing what the truth is.