artar Posted April 24, 2013 Share Posted April 24, 2013 (edited) I know this is wrong in many ways; but i need an advice. A couple of months ago i started dating a girl that is engaged. I liked her for a long time ; but never thought something could happen because she was engaged, then one night we went out for drinks with a group of friends and we kissed and after that we started to go out , having sex and going out in dates like a normal couple (yeah super F-up I know). She told me she doesn't want to get married; but she doesn't know how to call off the weeding, because she will disappoint everybody and her family will hate her. She doesn't love the guy, I have seen them together and I'm sure she doesn’t . She told me that she love me ; but she doesn't know what to do. I have a lot of feeling for her and don't want her to get married. Her wedding date is 4 months way Is she playing with me? Should I just forget her? Should I send her fiancé a anonymous email telling him she is cheating , so he cancels the wedding ? Edited April 24, 2013 by artar Link to post Share on other sites
outsidethebox Posted April 24, 2013 Share Posted April 24, 2013 I know this is wrong in many ways; but i need an advice. A couple of months ago i started dating a girl that is engaged. I liked her for a long time ; but never thought something could happen because she was engaged, then one night we went out for drinks with a group of friends and we kissed and after that we started to go out , having sex and going out in dates like a normal couple (yeah super F-up I know). She told me she doesn't want to get married; but she doesn't know how to call off the weeding, because she will disappoint everybody and her family will hate her. She doesn't love the guy, I have seen them together and I'm sure she doesn’t . She told me that she love me ; but she doesn't know what to do. I have a lot of feeling for her and don't want her to get married. Her wedding date is 4 months way Is she playing with me? Should I just forget her? Should I send her fiancé a anonymous email telling him she is cheating , so he cancels the wedding ? She's hoping the fiance catches wind of you and calls off the wedding himself after siccing a few friends of Guido on you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Jbum5 Posted April 24, 2013 Share Posted April 24, 2013 This shouldn't even be a question. In fact, it should be out of the question. Are you a buffoon? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ForeverHopeful1 Posted April 24, 2013 Share Posted April 24, 2013 How did this happen exactly and why did it continue? It may be completely irrelevant. ?? You need to tell her you will have no contact with her unless and until she is a single female and is no longer with this man. It isnt fair to him at all and he should know what she is up to. Cheating, lying, betraying HER FIANCE! Just the kind of girl you wanna bring home. Remember you cant turn a _ _ _ _ _ into a housewife. UGH! Why do you even want a woman who would do things like that behind her fiances back? Why did you ever accept this to be something that you were alright with. If she loves you, she will be with you. She isnt though and you need to open your eyes. She loves him. She is lying to you, making him out to be the bad guy so she doesnt seem like such a bad person, and you feel bad for her in this relationship because she has lied to you. She is STILL going through with the wedding. You cannot go from sleeping with an engaged woman to a married woman. For the love of everything sacred, do the right thing. End things now. Whether you tell the fiance or not is up to you, but this woman is NOT on your team. Help this guy out and let him know what he is getting himself into so he can make an informed decision about marrying this woman in 4 months. If he knows the truth, at least he will be able to decide whether to go through with the wedding or not. She is fully dating someone else right now (you) and yeah, he deserves to know the truth about the woman he is about to marry. I think that would be fair. Tell him the truth and go NC with either of them after that. Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted April 24, 2013 Share Posted April 24, 2013 This is why I'll never get married. Most women are so passive they'll flush their lives down the toilet to not hurt someones feelings. My uncles 1st wife married him because she felt sorry for him! She needs to break the engagement and tell her family it's what she wants to do for HER and they can either support her or mind their own business. TBS she's a cheater so if she does break it can you trust her? Link to post Share on other sites
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted April 24, 2013 Share Posted April 24, 2013 This is why I'll never get married. Most women are so passive they'll flush their lives down the toilet to not hurt someones feelings. My uncles 1st wife married him because she felt sorry for him! She needs to break the engagement and tell her family it's what she wants to do for HER and they can either support her or mind their own business. TBS she's a cheater so if she does break it can you trust her? I've seen marriages work, but I've seen more that don't. It's too risky for us guys since the laws are against us in that sense. Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted April 24, 2013 Share Posted April 24, 2013 Most Women? This says more about you, the type of people you hang around and associate with and the people you date than "Most Women". You think a this particular woman who's is trying to make it on Jerry Springer is going to all of a sudden start doing the right thing and ruin her chances of making it in Jerry Springer World? Not a chance in hell. Come on... Both of them know that neither one respects a relationship, commitment and has no problems lying or cheating. You know or have heard of these type of couples. They spend more time on each other's Facebook than their own trying to see / find / catch them cheating or doing something wrong. Have each other's passwords to everything and checking everything (email, phone records, text messages, etc.) to make sure the other person isn't up to no good. For good measure, they add the GPS tracker feature on their cell phone plans so both know where each is at all times. Exhausting for sure, but so worth it in their mind. It may reflect on me but it seems like there are a lot of passive women out there. How do I meet a non-passive one? I think they're hard to find. The guy is just as guilty, I fsiled to mention that during my rant... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted April 24, 2013 Share Posted April 24, 2013 It may reflect on me but it seems like there are a lot of passive women out there. How do I meet a non-passive one? I think they're hard to find. The guy is just as guilty, I fsiled to mention that during my rant... Non-passive women are all over the place. In fact, I find most to be non-passive. Mine is more on the passive/submissive side, which is what I like. Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted April 24, 2013 Share Posted April 24, 2013 This is why I'm done! A la the recent thread. It's not a gender specific problem though, mkst people suck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted April 24, 2013 Share Posted April 24, 2013 This is why I'm done! A la the recent thread. It's not a gender specific problem though, mkst people suck! Stop letting it affect you and you'll have more success. Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted April 24, 2013 Share Posted April 24, 2013 Non-passive women are all over the place. In fact, I find most to be non-passive Diggig deeper I mean non passive but still submissive in that she wants to follow the mans lead. Non passive meaning she's a good communicator and will tell you if there's something wrong.I will not tolerate passiveness, or passive aggressiveness or controling behavior. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 24, 2013 Share Posted April 24, 2013 Every time I see this thread, I think it says, Dating an enraged Woman! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted April 24, 2013 Share Posted April 24, 2013 Every time I see this thread, I think it says, Dating an enraged Woman! OP may have an enraged man to deal with if he doesn't end things. Link to post Share on other sites
Sunshine87 Posted April 24, 2013 Share Posted April 24, 2013 (edited) Do you really think that is going to end well? Sleeping with a woman engaged to be married in four months? D you really believe that you will live happily ever after together even if she calls off the wedding?- In a loving and trusting relationship? Trusting for emphasis? I understand the powerful bonding effect of sex but this can only end calamitously which ever way. I don't even want to go to into details. I think you know the right thing to do and even if you refuse to do so, your relationship with this girl will not stand the test of time. The level of deceit and betrayal involved is despicable. Once you've made a decision to marry someone and commenced planning with the wedding, it is abhorrent to do this. It would've been different it she had called off the wedding prior to cheating. It would've been different (although still wrong) if they were were not engaged. This is just wrong. Does she take off her ring when you have sex? Just wondering! Edited April 24, 2013 by Sunshine87 Link to post Share on other sites
Sunshine87 Posted April 24, 2013 Share Posted April 24, 2013 Aside from this thread turning into the "All about SJC" show yet again, the fact remains that the OP is going to get exactly what he deserves. And Artar? Do the right thing and send her fiance an anonymous message telling him with a tramp he's engaged to. If you do ONE right thing in this whole mess (because you haven't YET) let the poor guy know how he's being screwed - and not in a good way. Atar wants to do just that. But for the wrong reasons and with a tainted motive- to destroy the relationship so he can have her to himself. Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted April 24, 2013 Share Posted April 24, 2013 Can someone who is engaged even be said to be dating? Personally I would call that cheating. If her culture says she has to marry this man, don't know, she has to decide whether to go against that or not but cheating isn't going to help her cause. I would look into ways to help her not get married first before jumping in. This could all end in tears, especially for you OP. Take care, Eve x Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted April 24, 2013 Share Posted April 24, 2013 I know this is wrong in many ways; but i need an advice. A couple of months ago i started dating a girl that is engaged. I liked her for a long time ; but never thought something could happen because she was engaged, then one night we went out for drinks with a group of friends and we kissed and after that we started to go out , having sex and going out in dates like a normal couple (yeah super F-up I know). She told me she doesn't want to get married; but she doesn't know how to call off the weeding, because she will disappoint everybody and her family will hate her. She doesn't love the guy, I have seen them together and I'm sure she doesn’t . She told me that she love me ; but she doesn't know what to do. I have a lot of feeling for her and don't want her to get married. Her wedding date is 4 months way Is she playing with me? Should I just forget her? Should I send her fiancé a anonymous email telling him she is cheating , so he cancels the wedding ? She is instinctively using you to sabotage her wedding. She does not want to get married but she does not have the ovaries to go out and say it. So she is doing what she thinks she can do. There is no love. But i bet the sex is good. So keep hitting that, with a condom ... always with a condom. Because she might subconsciously 'forget' her pill, and a baby would be a damn fine reason to call off a wedding, if it was with another man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted April 24, 2013 Share Posted April 24, 2013 Since this is a new member and they haven't returned to post, I'll close this for now. Link to post Share on other sites
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