What is the best way to combat sexual temptation?

[Feelin Frisky]

Sorry, This does not compute for me. I'd have to know more. I am not predisposed to act out sexually if it's against my morals. I only did when being manipulated during a four year period where I got involved with drugs and men would use women to get to my money. I can say that all that sex was not memorable except for just a couple of times when it almost seemed personal. If it's not personal and there in no connection, it's just a fool's distraction for someone else's effort at exploitation of your resources. That cured me of any sense of ever using a prostitute or escort.

[pie2]

Sorry, This does not compute for me. I'd have to know more. I am not predisposed to act out sexually if it's against my morals. I only did when being manipulated during a four year period where I got involved with drugs and men would use women to get to my money. I can say that all that sex was not memorable except for just a couple of times when it almost seemed personal. If it's not personal and there in no connection, it's just a fool's distraction for someone else's effort at exploitation of your resources. That cured me of any sense of ever using a prostitute or escort.

 

Ugh, that's really sad . I'm sorry you went through all that. The bible talks a lot about having caution with the "smooth words of the seductress" (though men can definitely have some smooth words of their own, now that I think about it).

[carhill]

Since this is a spirituality/religious context, I'll share something which was elemental to the development of my style, and it came from a 26yo nun who taught sex education when I was 12 and attending private school. She never touted the standard church 'line' of no sex until marriage, though we got that from other quarters, but rather that sexual intimacy was one of, if not the, highest and most intimate of acts two humans could engage in and to be very selective about how and who one engages in such acts with. Needless to say, in the free love 60's-70's, this outlook was decidedly outlier

 

So, when random women have presented easy sexual opportunities over the decades, I found it quite easy, though easier while a virgin, to pass on those opportunities simply because there was no relationship nor shared intimacy. From that perspective, had I engaged, I would have felt like I was masturbating with another human since we had no connection on the emotional or spiritual level. Meanwhile, many of my peers were enjoying the pleasures of the flesh. Good on them, or so I said at the time. Different paths.

[Feelin Frisky]

Ugh, that's really sad . I'm sorry you went through all that. The bible talks a lot about having caution with the "smooth words of the seductress" (though men can definitely have some smooth words of their own, now that I think about it).

 

Bible aside, if one makes the mistake of thinking that they are bigger than cocaine, they will find that they are no better than any of "those people" you see in every documentary turning into a shell of themselves. And women make that mistake as much as men. And there are men who will use them and they will go willingly with that using man to a third party guy whether he asked for it or not. I had to unplug my bell from the wall so that the crack vampires of the upper east side couldn't ring my bell where their would be one of a couple of player guys and a girl with a story that there's excellent drugs just a few blocks away and if I spring for some, I get her. I even kicked out two women who came together looking for me to fund a little orgy with them. I had a job and their job was pleasure 24 hours a day 7 days a week. I lived a responsible life until I made the mistake of entering the garden of earthly delights whose knowledge steals your freedom and usually kills you if you don't run and stay away from access to it. I did and have survived for 19 years since my last use of that most seductive drug and it's partner--sexual excess.

[Eve]

Ah I understand now. You meant points relevant to Vipassana that are relevant to the OP That is clearer.

 

I read it as you were replying to my post and asking was there anything I wanted to say that was relevant to the OP - When in fact my whole post was I was somewhat confused.

 

The author you refer to is likely Jon Kabat-Zinn. He has the most well known book on the subject called "Wherever You Go, There You Are". Bhante Gunaratana and Joseph Goldstein also seem to come highly recommended.

 

Really however hints and tips are hard to come by. It is something you need to practice yourself and find your own niche in it. You can read what works or worked for other people of course and try it yourself - but you have to be the final arbiter as to what works.

 

I "teach" a class in it free once a week in my home. But by "teach" I really only barely hold peoples hand in the process and suggest trying things they might not have tried yet. Most of my "class" are students from the local college - but I have a few addicts and people with violence issues. I also have not only a trainee priest from the seminary local to me - but a full actual priest from a near by parish too. So a real mixed bag of atendees.

 

Sorry I was not clear. I still cannot remember the authour, the ones you mentioned did not ring any bells. The authour I have forgotten the name off goes over the common concept off 'grounding' and uses short relaxation exercises which are wonderful. Really helps to get back to ones core.

 

I was hoping you could share some off the exercises you use as I feel they are highly useful.

 

 

Take care,

Eve x

[TaxAHCruel]

I was hoping you could share some off the exercises you use as I feel they are highly useful.

 

 

There are so many I would not know where to start. some people like to read ideas, some people like to hear them. It is really hard to tell.

 

Try Sam Harris, the guy mentioned earlier in the thread. Go to

and go forward to 29:30 and see if what he says and does works for you.

 

But "Wherever you go there you are" has LOTS of ideas on where and how to start. I can not recommend it enough as an introduction to Mindfulness Meditation.

[taiko]

Get married!

 

No required it is the best way., It even says in a few sacred books that when married you are to give yourself to your partner to lessen his temptations.

[pie2]

No required it is the best way.

 

Lol, you're right taiko! Easier said than done though, eh?

 

I remember one of the first bible verses I learned (well, my version of it, because I can't find the exact translation ): "If you can't control yourself, it's better to marry than be aflame with passion" (1 Corinthians 7:9). I love that..."aflame with passion"...it's so accurate !!

 

I do agree with Beth and the others' advice that marriage isn't the ultimate solution; resisting temptation is usually a continual struggle that can be alleviated with prayer. But it's certainly a big piece .