pink_sugar Posted April 25, 2013 Share Posted April 25, 2013 (edited) So since my graduation is out of state, my dad offered to pay for my plane ticket along with his own. My husband would have to pay for himself, but this would still save us the cost of driving 10-12 hours plus any food. With my brother's wedding the weekend after (out of state also), my husband and I cannot afford to take time off to drive long distance to both events. Now my mom is saying we promised to ride with them to make their trip up there cheaper and going on about how my dad did it on purpose to spite her and that she is not sure if she is going to be able to go to the graduation now because we won't be riding with them or they won't be able to follow us. I'm not sure what to do. Flying with my dad since he offered to cover my flight seems like the more practical option so we don't have to take nearly as much time off of work with my graduation and my brother's wedding the following weekend (also out of state). She completely flipped out and hung up on me after telling me how I screwed them. I feel like it's not really my obligation to get them to my graduation. They either come or they don't. Edited April 25, 2013 by pink_sugar Link to post Share on other sites
passingbreeze Posted April 25, 2013 Share Posted April 25, 2013 (edited) You made a promise to your Mom, that you would drive with her, so that it would be cost effective for all of you? Then your Dad offers to pay your airfare (only yours, not your husbands), if you fly with him? It seems obvious to me, that you should honor your original commitment to your Mom. Especially since the extra money you pay for your husband's airfare would probably be about the same as the cost of driving? Since you're going to your brother's wedding the following weekend, which is also out of state, maybe you could ask your Dad to pay for your plane ticket there instead of to the graduation? One thing that puzzles me: Why is your Dad only offering to pay for you, and not your husband? It doesn't seem right that Dad expects your husband to drive alone, while you fly. Edited April 25, 2013 by passingbreeze Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted April 25, 2013 Share Posted April 25, 2013 You wrote about your mom before i think. Do you really want to get stuck with her in the car for 10-12hs ? I wouldn't. Isn't it much simpler to just take none of them there, and go themselves ... they are not 10yr olds. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author pink_sugar Posted April 25, 2013 Author Share Posted April 25, 2013 You made a promise to your Mom, that you would drive with her, so that it would be cost effective for all of you? Then your Dad offers to pay your airfare (only yours, not your husbands), if you fly with him? It seems obvious to me, that you should honor your original commitment to your Mom. Especially since the extra money you pay for your husband's airfare would probably be about the same as the cost of driving? Since you're going to your brother's wedding the following weekend, which is also out of state, maybe you could ask your Dad to pay for your plane ticket there instead of to the graduation? One thing that puzzles me: Why is your Dad only offering to pay for you, and not your husband? It doesn't seem right that Dad expects your husband to drive alone, while you fly. Well I talked to my mom and suggested that if we go together, maybe we could stay for a few days and she hemmed and hawed over it, so I took that as indefinite. Originally, we were planning to go in two different cars because we were thinking of driving further after the graduation. My dad was talking about flying up and I jokingly said maybe he could also pay for me. He surprised me when he said he'd consider it, but my husband would have to pay for himself, which would be $220. It would only be slightly more than our cost of driving, but means we wouldn't have to take as much time off of work. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted April 25, 2013 Share Posted April 25, 2013 Your mom is under the impression you made a promise. That is a communication issue to be cleared up. If I were you, even if I felt "in the right", I would apologize for the change of plans, and explain that I was not clear on her plans when I accepted the offer from dad. You can empathize with her without taking sides. Just tell her that, while you'd love for her to be there, and you know that she'd like to go, you'll also understand if she can't make it. Maybe offer to plan something in way of celebration with her when you are together for the wedding (getting lunch together, or something like that). 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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