4 years down the drain

[KatZee]

The only thing I would do is unfollow her on twitter. You're not NC if you're checking up on social media.

 

Wipe it out. This way you won't see her stupid a.ss lyrics and you won't be twisting yourself into a pretzel trying to figure out if they were posted for you or not.

 

You've been broken up 3 months, NC for a month. Who even knows if it's for you. Responding with lyrics is a dead give away you're still hung up, stalking her stuff, and trying to communicate.

 

DON'T DO IT.

[Chi townD]

over a month no contact and 3 months broken up and I was doing great dating etc.. then last night she posts on twitter " things you love become things you hate became things you miss " then proceeds to post the lyrics to yes I do from Racal flats ( which we listened to all the time)

 

I was going to respond with our other song.. but then I realized.. what's the point after everthing she put me through I have to read about this on social media? Apparently we still follow each other because I never go on there.

 

Any insight to what his is all about? I mean I am still doing NC but it was tough to see. Thanks everyone

 

That twitter post tells me (and it should tell you) NOTHING! Are you "things" or are you a person. Things you love, hate and miss could be ANYTHING! I LOVE football, I HATE that football season isn't here yet and I MISS it.

 

And just because she quoted a song, so what!!! You stated that you two used to listen to together. Just because you're not together anymore doesn't mean that she has to automatically hate the song. Maybe the tweet was about the song.....who knows....

[zendon73]

That twitter post tells me (and it should tell you) NOTHING! Are you "things" or are you a person. Things you love, hate and miss could be ANYTHING! I LOVE football, I HATE that football season isn't here yet and I MISS it.

 

And just because she quoted a song, so what!!! You stated that you two used to listen to together. Just because you're not together anymore doesn't mean that she has to automatically hate the song. Maybe the tweet was about the song.....who knows....

 

Thank you all for the encouragement. I am never on twitter and neither is she which ( she only follows me actually) but you are right it could be about anything. I have un followed her and the NC continues. I can't take this as a sign of anything because even if I did it would have to be the most asinine way to communicate to me. Thank you again.

[zendon73]

So people on here were right about my ex's timetable and the more i think about it the more i feel like i dodged a bullet with this one.

 

She just started posting the her and her new man pictures all the while writing the most depressing things on twitter such as " sad , alone, want to run away" She is certainly bi polar and you all couldn't be more right.

 

I deleted her from everything and it is over a month with no contact besides the twitter thing which i deleted.. Still sad

[zendon73]

She is pregnant . This is the end

[Lordhellish]

I hope you are ok mate. I have been reading posts on this forum for the last few months and I had bookmarked yours. Our stories have a lot of parallels, including timing. When I read your post today I registered just so I could tell you that I feel for you.

 

I am also waiting for this news from my ex. It is something I have been expecting since she broke up with me.

 

Anyway I doubt there is much a stranger can say to help but keep persevering. You're right it's done now. Time to stop analysing it, easier said then done. I very much doubt she will be happy long term hold onto that thought.

[zendon73]

I hope you are ok mate. I have been reading posts on this forum for the last few months and I had bookmarked yours. Our stories have a lot of parallels, including timing. When I read your post today I registered just so I could tell you that I feel for you.

 

I am also waiting for this news from my ex. It is something I have been expecting since she broke up with me.

 

Anyway I doubt there is much a stranger can say to help but keep persevering. You're right it's done now. Time to stop analysing it, easier said then done. I very much doubt she will be happy long term hold onto that thought.

 

thank you for the kind words ... I am not ok.. I heard everyday for almost 4 years that we couldn't have a kid until we are married. At 39 I was prepared for that and looking forward to it.

 

Now not even 4 months later to hear that she is pregnant is the worst possible thing I could ever hear. It should be a happy time because it truly signals the end but it doesn't feel any better to know that I came so close and now this.

 

I have never been more depressed in my life.

[BC1980]

You don't deserve any if this. I'm so sorry. She does sound unstable. I would move and start a new life if possible.

[Lordhellish]

You said it earlier in your posts. You dodged a bullet. This won't turn out well, doesn't feel like that now, but you got to make yourself believe you are better off not in this woman's life. She is not emotionally stable. Yes the future you had in mind is no longer possible, but don't confuse this as something she wants. Her life is in turmoil.

 

I don't know how you found out about this, but you need to go even further NC. What she is upto from this point on should be of no interest to you.

[Coping Vortex]

Prepare yourself when she tries to come back later as it will likely happen at some point. My ex tried to come back a year later and it caused a lot of emotional trauma for me. My ex got dumped by the guy she left me for and thought that I would just welcome her back with open arms (lol yeah she's that crazy). After a week I came to my senses and told her to get lost. I'm glad I had the strength to do this, because now I realize it would have been a disaster. The relationship ended when she walked out the door to be with someone else. It needs to stay that way. I won't be 'friends' with her either as that would just cramp my style at this point -- I have no desire to be her friend at all.

 

Be prepared is all I'm saying. Really question why she has shown up all of a sudden if that happens. I'm almost positive it won't be 'about you', but rather just to fill a short-term void in her life until she gets over the most recent ex. I deserve more than than that. She can go get another deadbeat from plenty of fish.

 

SuperGeek

 

Yup its funny how they all come back at some point even for a look back. When they do its usually too late. Once they realize the new douche bag they are with has the same s**t in their life as we all do. They seem to come back once the bloom is off the rose and they realize what they had.

 

The irony of relationships.

[Coping Vortex]

I think a lot of knew from the start of reading your posts it was another guy. We all feel for you, as most of us on this site have the same story.

 

Its funny how, even though people and situations maybe slightly different for everyone else, there seem s to be a lot of constant threads as to the ending of a relationships for most relationships. From the sudden change in behavior in our eyes, to the phrases that are dead giveaways. I shook my head when I read that she sent you a text that said "How are you?" I got the SAME exact text from my ex when she came back around. In fact she did that to me several times during the BU. Guilt. Plus she might have thought back at something and she wanted to tug on the leash to see if you are still there. Funny how cookie cutter most of what happens in relationships goes.

 

You thought there was no other man in the picture at the time but every thing she did said there was. Its just that you don't realize it when you are in the dark. On the bright side this is a good learning experience for you. You will know if you see this behavior again in another relationship you might be more prepared and know what to expect in the future. Little consolation, I know.

 

Don't drive yourself crazy about the new guy either. Forget how he looks etc. (When people fall n love the person they fall in love with look good to them no matter what?) or how he is. My ex even told me I was better in so many ways than her new BF but she is still with him.

 

read more here on LS you will see the same patterns over and over again.

[bluecrabroll]

She is pregnant . This is the end

 

The end for her, but finally the start of a new beginning for you. What she does with her life is not of your concern anymore cause you are not responsible for anything. This is the closure you need and now it's time to stop dwelling and start healing. I'm so sorry for what you are going through but I'm definitely sure you will come out a better person in the end and will find someone much better.

[eddyctv]

OMG DUDE!

 

I just read this entire thread...You should be THRILLED that this nut is out of your life! I'm sorry but I've got to give it to you straight...she is INSANE!!! I know it's hard for you right now, but holy cow, you can do SO MUCH BETTER than this fruit! I know you are hurting (we all are) but OMG she is an absolute LUNATIC!!

 

One day you are going to THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS that this "woman" is out of your life! I never read anything so nutty as this thread!

 

Dude...go out and meet people. Join a gym, join a club, get a hobby, meet people, buy a bike and ride it all the time...

 

I cant believe this story. Just insanity. FIND SOMEONE NORMAL and forget about this train wreck!!!

[Coping Vortex]

She is pregnant . This is the end

 

Been there. My ex admitted to me her new BF got her pregnant. She is 37 years old with three kids form her previous marriage. Not sure what goes through their heads.

 

Although my ex's pregnancy didn't ultimately survive, at the time I felt free. I knew what life was going to be like for her and her BF no more dating and fun and games. Plus how would the strain of a out wedlock pregnancy put on a couple that has only known each for a few months?

 

If you look at things from that angle be happy you are not in that mess.

Edited July 9, 2013 by Coping Vortex

[April18]

Buy and read the book: [COLOR=#004b91]Men Who Can't Love: How to Recognize a Commitmentphobic Man Before He Breaks Your Heart[/COLOR] by [COLOR=#004b91]Steven Carter[/COLOR] and [COLOR=#004b91]Julia Sokol[/COLOR]

 

Replace the words him w/ her; he w/ she; Men w/Women, etc.... and you will have your answers.

 

I had the same thing happen to me and we were together for 7 years and six weeks away from our wedding. You will get over this and you will forget about her in time.

p.s. Never live with someone before marriage again. The empty house and losing pets and shared purchases; all the reminders in the home....just too much to bear.

[zendon73]

OMG DUDE!

 

I just read this entire thread...You should be THRILLED that this nut is out of your life! I'm sorry but I've got to give it to you straight...she is INSANE!!! I know it's hard for you right now, but holy cow, you can do SO MUCH BETTER than this fruit! I know you are hurting (we all are) but OMG she is an absolute LUNATIC!!

 

One day you are going to THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS that this "woman" is out of your life! I never read anything so nutty as this thread!

 

Dude...go out and meet people. Join a gym, join a club, get a hobby, meet people, buy a bike and ride it all the time...

 

I cant believe this story. Just insanity. FIND SOMEONE NORMAL and forget about this train wreck!!!

 

Thank you all for your kind words.. This post actually made me laugh as I now laugh and shake my head out of sadness.

 

I know I am better off and I know I can do better.. but damn she had everyone in our lives fooled and I guess it is just disappointing.

 

I am going to therapy now and during this whole mess I felt like the loser.. no fiancé, no baby, no wedding and im the one going to therapy!..Proof positive that crappy people come out ahead sometimes.. I am sure I will see that I am better off sooner or later.. but everyday I am sad thinking about how close I came.. My herapist says she knows what she did is awful but I suppose that is none of my concern anymore.

 

Thank you again everyone.

[Chi townD]

Three words for you.

 

DODGED. A. BULLET!

 

She screwed herself up but good! She now going to be tied to a guy much older than her that she barely knows. She's going to be tied down with a kid and you are free and clear to do whatever the hell you want.

 

She also probably came to realize that with her condition; she's lost you forever. And you'll probably not want anything to do with her. Because, she's an idiot to think that what she has with this old dude is going to last.\\

 

How did you find out she was pregnant?

[SimonSerenade]

I don't know if it's because of the crappy day I've had or if it's because of reading this whole thread with stinging eyes but I cried hard reading this, I thought my situation was bad, it doesn't even compare to this, I can't even imagine how you felt, this woman is the devil, you didn't deserve any of that, I hope you know that in your heart.

 

I can relate on some level but not to that extent, I was engaged to my ex and ever since we got engaged she said and did everything she could to get out of it, she cut me off when she left and hasn't talked to me since, the last time I spoke with her was maybe a good 2 or 3 days after she left, I was devastated, in a really bad place, her attitude ran cold and cruel, I suffered her wrath one last time and off she went, never heard from her since.

 

About 3 weeks later, her friend calls me up and tells me my ex doesn't love me anymore and has given away all the gifts I ever gave her including 2 gifts I sent her after she ended it, she pretty much erased me just like that.

 

I'm pretty sure there was another guy in the picture I don't know about and if I'm honest, I don't ever want to know, I just want to move on and start fresh after all this bs.

 

Just like my ex, your ex will never be able to justify how she acted or what she's done, there really is no good enough reason in the world to treat somebody like that when clearly there the least deserving of it, don't take it personally man, she's just stupid and possibly a sociopath.

[zendon73]

Three words for you.

 

DODGED. A. BULLET!

 

She screwed herself up but good! She now going to be tied to a guy much older than her that she barely knows. She's going to be tied down with a kid and you are free and clear to do whatever the hell you want.

 

She also probably came to realize that with her condition; she's lost you forever. And you'll probably not want anything to do with her. Because, she's an idiot to think that what she has with this old dude is going to last.\\

 

How did you find out she was pregnant?

 

Thanks man.. you really helped me a lot in this thread and I just wanted to thank you.. I found out through her friend who know hates her for what she did.. I told her after she told me to please don't contact me anymore and in the event that you do to never bring her name up again.. She does know this guy for a couple of years due to them working together but I agree with you about the free part.. im sad but not in a I can't do anything way.. im functioning.. but just still in disbelief .

[SimonSerenade]

99% of times when cheating occurs, it occurs with somebody at work, I hate those facts, your best bet for the future is the same as mine, find yourself a nice lazy girl who don't wanna work! then you aint got no problems..... other than supporting her lazy ass but hey, its better than the alternative.

[for666]

gigs or cheater

go NC and make you'r self busy try to work out make some hobbies

 

if cheater NEVER look back (cheater ones cheater always)

if gigs well you decide but by the time she's back 1-10 years maby

i don't think you need to wait that long

 

move on bro

time gonna heal you both

but until than you gonna move on and don't even remember it ^^ so gl

[zendon73]

Time is not helping people- After all the horrible things my ex has done and now to be pregnant and full out with her new BF only 4 months after have left me with thoughts of revenge every second of every day.

 

I am not a vindictive or spiteful person in general .. but it is burning me up inside that this is her life now after giving me absolutely no warning or no explanation after 4 years.

 

Is this normal? Time is supposed to heal all .. but its killing me all.. im resisting sending letter or texts etc.. but truthfully speaking i would like to punch both of them in the face .. Obviously that will not happen.. but is this a normal feeling? Anyone else get this feeling that your ex got off free ?

[confused_friend]

Very sorry to know what you had to go through.. please consider yourself lucky tha you did not get married to her..just try to move on and close this chapter of your life.ii am sure u'll find a great girl and some years down the line be a very happy person..

[RaidDolEm78]

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. Your story is so similar to mine,I was actually feeling like each one of your responses could have been something I said/did! You finding out your ex is pregnant, is my worse fear (that my ex got his new girl pregnant)...although it has yet to be confirmed that he ended our 7 year relationship for someone else, the signs are there. So I totally can relate! Everyone keeps telling me things will get better, and I (like you) have my good days and my bad.....But what I do believe is that everything happens for a reason....whether we are aware of that reason at the present time or not. Sending you positive vibes!

[keepontruckin]

zendon, time is not helping because not enough time has passed for you...

 

Your story is similar to mine, except I was married. However, what your ex put you through wasn't quite as bad as what mine did. Mine was just the classic "walk away wife," for all intents and purposes.

 

My "usefulness" to her was no longer, and it is just like that light switch with some people... I swear borderline psychopathic in ability to act one way, but emotionally remove themselves from anything.

 

Just keep reminding yourself about her flaws, 'cause I know there were probably a few. Remember the woman that left you was far from perfect herself. The dumpee will quite often focus only on the good qualities of their ex, neglecting to remember the whole picture of whom they really were...