What Matters Most in Dating for Women: Intelligence or Looks?

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

I believe that looks matter WAY more than intelligence.

 

(For the record, I believe confidence and personality completely destroy both of these.....so let's leave that out).

[Woggle]

It depends on the woman just like it depends on the man.

[tbf]

All other traits being equal, intelligence. I loathe stupid men.

[tuxedo cat]

Intelligence.

[jennifer4]

I've met many hot guys. Some open their mouth and are dumber than a box of rocks. LOL Nice to look at, but wouldn't be able to date them.

[BluEyeL]

For me personally, intelligence comes before looks. The feature I am most attracted to in men are the eyes, they need to sparkle. If they are stupid the eyes will be dull, case closed.

[Treasa]

Intelligence. I've dated a lot of meh-looking guys who were smart as whips. That's what drops MY panties.

[Treasa]

Oh, and I have to clarify: He doesn't have to have a PhD. He just has to get what the hell I'm talking about, or what's on the news, etc.

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

Oh, and I have to clarify: He doesn't have to have a PhD. He just has to get what the hell I'm talking about, or what's on the news, etc.

 

That's an interesting point. It depends what your definition of intelligence is.

 

The most intelligent guys I know are pharmacists, doctors, physicists, etc. I found that if they're not good-looking or charismatic, they won't get girls.

 

Thus, their ACTUAL intelligence does not get them girls at all. In fact, in my observations, it actually hurts them.

 

I wouldn't consider someone that watches the news to be intelligent lol.

[Treasa]

That's an interesting point. It depends what your definition of intelligence is.

 

The most intelligent guys I know are pharmacists, doctors, physicists, etc. I found that if they're not good-looking or charismatic, they won't get girls.

 

Thus, their ACTUAL intelligence does not get them girls at all. In fact, in my observations, it actually hurts them.

 

I wouldn't consider someone that watches the news to be intelligent lol.

 

I didn't say watches the news. I said "gets" what's on the news. As in, can speak intelligently and thoughtfully about it.

 

And I sure as hell rule out someone with a PhD. I'm just saying it's not a requirement. I'll take a doctor or a physicist over an idiot model any day.

 

But then again, my definition of idiot is ignorance, an unwillingness to listen, and an inability to learn.

[AMusing]

Intelligence wins over looks every time (for me--other women will feel differently, of course). A wicked intellect is the biggest turn-on for me, above anything else.

 

As far as a man's looks go, this quote from a "rather" brilliant TV show explains my viewpoint better than I've been able to so far:

 

You know when sometimes you meet someone so beautiful…and then you actually talk to them and five minutes later they're as dull as a brick? Then there's other people, when you meet them you think, 'Not bad. They're okay.' And then you get to know them and…and their face just sort of becomes them. Like their personality's written all over it. And they just turn into something so beautiful.

 

Cheesy, but true for me.

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

I didn't say watches the news. I said "gets" what's on the news. As in, can speak intelligently and thoughtfully about it.

 

And I sure as hell rule out someone with a PhD. I'm just saying it's not a requirement. I'll take a doctor or a physicist over an idiot model any day.

 

But then again, my definition of idiot is ignorance, an unwillingness to listen, and an inability to learn.

 

That reflects more on attitude than intelligence.

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

Intelligence wins over looks every time (for me--other women will feel differently, of course). A wicked intellect is the biggest turn-on for me, above anything else.

 

As far as a man's looks go, this quote from a "rather" brilliant TV show explains my viewpoint better than I've been able to so far:

 

 

 

Cheesy, but true for me.

 

I agree. I said in my original post that I've found that personality rules all....and that's basically what you just said lol.

[Treasa]

But you said we couldn't count personality. So if I had to pick between intelligence and looks, I'd pick intelligence.

 

My mom is damn near the smartest person I know, and she never got a chance to graduate from college. She's extremely bright and wise, though, and takes in and understands and retains a lot.

[Weezy1973]

Being an average looking, intelligent guy, I can attest to the fact that many women prioritize intelligence over looks. And a sense of humour doesn't hurt...

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

But you said we couldn't count personality. So if I had to pick between intelligence and looks, I'd pick intelligence.

 

My mom is damn near the smartest person I know, and she never got a chance to graduate from college. She's extremely bright and wise, though, and takes in and understands and retains a lot.

 

Fair enough. Good response. I agree that you don't have to have an education to be intelligent.

[BluEyeL]

That's an interesting point. It depends what your definition of intelligence is.

 

The most intelligent guys I know are pharmacists, doctors, physicists, etc. I found that if they're not good-looking or charismatic, they won't get girls.

 

Thus, their ACTUAL intelligence does not get them girls at all. In fact, in my observations, it actually hurts them.

 

I wouldn't consider someone that watches the news to be intelligent lol.

 

Intelligence only wouldn't get them the girls, yes, if they don't have social skills. But I'm sure they can still get the nerdy girls, who "get" them.

[married2school]

Intelligence, by far.

 

I will say though... for me, it's not only the attraction it adds, but it is also usually how busy they are. I know if I date fellow grad students, med students, or doctors that they're just as busy as I am, can usually appreciate and respect that, and know when to give me my space. It's a mutual understanding thing.

 

On a side note similar to what Treasa said. My grandfather barely made it through high school, but he was probably the smartest person in my family. He read and knew so much on everything from history to Stephen Hawking. I think it's sometimes less about the degree and more about someone's willingness to learn.

[Avulare]

Assuming I meet two guys who are interested in me, and they both have good personalities... Guy 1 is objectively hot but is of average intelligence; Guy 2 is average in appearance but is super intelligent. If the only difference between the two guys is their respective appearance and intelligence, Guy 2 wins hands-down. In fact, Guy 1 is pretty much a no-go - I hate feeling like I'm more intelligent than the guy I'm with. That said, I don't like feeling dumb either, so our intellects should be pretty close.

[AMusing]

I agree. I said in my original post that I've found that personality rules all....and that's basically what you just said lol.

 

I should've been clearer. The quote doesn't perfectly align with your question; you need to replace "personality" with "intellect" or "wit" in the original quote. Seeing a man's "brain cleavage" makes him more attractive to me, in the same way that seeing a man's personality shine through does.

[Weezy1973]

Assuming I meet two guys who are interested in me, and they both have good personalities... Guy 1 is objectively hot but is of average intelligence; Guy 2 is average in appearance but is super intelligent. If the only difference between the two guys is their respective appearance and intelligence, Guy 2 wins hands-down. In fact, Guy 1 is pretty much a no-go - I hate feeling like I'm more intelligent than the guy I'm with. That said, I don't like feeling dumb either, so our intellects should be pretty close.

 

Interesting...I remember hearing somewhere that in general the two factors that couples tend to match up on are physical attractiveness and IQ. I'm not sure if was an actual study or a musing of one of my profs...

[NGC1300]

Just my opinion, but one's level of intelligence isn't always obvious. It certainly shouldn't be confused with being "educated".

 

If someone is dull, boring, and lacks confidence, I can guarantee you that most people will conclude they lack intelligence. And they could be very very wrong.

Edited April 25, 2013 by NGC1300

[BrownBarbie]

1. Money aka stability.

[Woggle]

Intelligence. I think thats pretty obvious considering I started a thread called "do men like smart girls?" I bet these answers are prob. not what men want to hear though they want to hear women are just as shallow as them.

 

I fully believe the women in this thread but I have seen enough real life examples to know that you can't say an entire gender is a certain way.

[Phoebe]

Intelligence wins over looks every time (for me--other women will feel differently, of course). A wicked intellect is the biggest turn-on for me, above anything else.

 

As far as a man's looks go, this quote from a "rather" brilliant TV show explains my viewpoint better than I've been able to so far:

 

 

 

Cheesy, but true for me.

 

Haha, I know where you got that from. I've quoted it myself on another thread.

 

You can keep all the drop dead gorgeous men, I'd take a Rory Williams any day!