Out of anti-depressants...

[aeren944]

Alright, so first off... let me say I haven't posted much since I've been back to LS, but I lurk quite often.

 

I realize some people think that anti-depressants are stupid, but they actually work for me. I've been out for about a week, and I think its starting to hit me. I'm feeling those same lows that I felt before, yet now, instead of sadness (mostly over my ex, which is when I started taking the anti-depressants) I'm absolutely filled with anger.

 

I've read that depression is unchanneled anger. It's majorly showing to be true today. Thing is, I'm angry over nothing, I think. Like I said... it's unchanneled. I'm angry that I'm still "alone". I'm angry that I can't connect with someone on a deeper level. I'm angry because I feel like I will always be alone, and it's my fault because I suck at life or something.

 

So, being off the anti-depressants, I feel like I'm spiraling all of a sudden. I can feel all those old BS fears I had (from after my breakup) coming back. I'm fine with my ex... there's no wanting her back from my perspective. We're parents, and we keep it about the kids. The drama has long since past. So, I know the depression is not about her... I don't know if I'm like cursed to just deal with this random depression as if something's just wrong with me... or if there's a reason I'm getting so down on myself.

 

I'm like 3 years out from the breakup. Again, it's not about that. But what can I do to focus? How can I get myself back to where I'm not scared I'm unlovable?

[Treasa]

Why are you off your antidepressants??? No wonder you feel like ****.

 

I only missed mine on one occurrence. I ran out. Day one, fine. Day two, fine. Day three....SOBBING, HYSTERICAL MESS. I finally told my bewildered best friend that I was out of antidepressants, and I have honestly never seen him move so quickly to make sure I had them again.

 

If I have just 10 left, I'm making sure I already have an appointment to get more prescribed.

 

The reasons why you are hurting can be talked about, but suddenly quitting on those types of meds is BAD.

[FitChick]

It sounds like anti-depressants kept you from working through your emotions and healing. You stayed numb and stuck instead of moving forward. I think the anger is progress, frankly. Energy is moving through you again. You need to harness it and do something creative. Not talking about writing or painting, unless you enjoy that, but creating a plan for your future. Find a physical outlet for this energy as well -- boxing, running, playing tennis, swimming, something you enjoy where you will be pleasantly worn out afterward and calm. Or go in the opposite direction and meditate and take a yoga class. Perhaps find a therapist to walk you through this.

 

Good luck!

Edited April 25, 2013 by FitChick

[Maleficent]

Alright, so first off... let me say I haven't posted much since I've been back to LS, but I lurk quite often.

 

I realize some people think that anti-depressants are stupid, but they actually work for me. I've been out for about a week, and I think its starting to hit me. I'm feeling those same lows that I felt before, yet now, instead of sadness (mostly over my ex, which is when I started taking the anti-depressants) I'm absolutely filled with anger.

 

I've read that depression is unchanneled anger. It's majorly showing to be true today. Thing is, I'm angry over nothing, I think. Like I said... it's unchanneled. I'm angry that I'm still "alone". I'm angry that I can't connect with someone on a deeper level. I'm angry because I feel like I will always be alone, and it's my fault because I suck at life or something.

 

So, being off the anti-depressants, I feel like I'm spiraling all of a sudden. I can feel all those old BS fears I had (from after my breakup) coming back. I'm fine with my ex... there's no wanting her back from my perspective. We're parents, and we keep it about the kids. The drama has long since past. So, I know the depression is not about her... I don't know if I'm like cursed to just deal with this random depression as if something's just wrong with me... or if there's a reason I'm getting so down on myself.

 

I'm like 3 years out from the breakup. Again, it's not about that. But what can I do to focus? How can I get myself back to where I'm not scared I'm unlovable?

 

 

By 'out of anti-depressants' do you mean you ran out and simply stopped taking them??

[Maleficent]

It sounds like anti-depressants kept you from working through your emotions and healing. You stayed numb and stuck instead of moving forward. I think the anger is progress, frankly. Energy is moving through you again. You need to harness it and do something creative. Not talking about writing or painting, unless you enjoy that, but creating a plan for your future. Find a physical outlet for this energy as well -- boxing, running, playing tennis, swimming, something you enjoy where you will be pleasantly worn out afterward and calm. Or go in the opposite direction and meditate and take a yoga class. Perhaps find a therapist to walk you through this.

 

Good luck!

 

No. That guy needs to get back on his meds ASAP and talk to his doctor about lowering them gradually.

 

There is absolutely nothing on this planet that will make him feel normal after quitting AD cold turkey.

[pink_sugar]

I know some anti-depressants can be addictive and you start to rely on them. However if it runs in your family and you are often depressed for no reason, people have no choice but to be on them. I am on anti-anxiety medication and I find it really helps control my anxiety. I may also go back to taking my anti-depressants...because they also help with anxiety. I am for these medications as they have helped me get through some very challenging times in my life.

[Maleficent]

I know some anti-depressants can be addictive and you start to rely on them. However if it runs in your family and you are often depressed for no reason, people have no choice but to be on them. I am on anti-anxiety medication and I find it really helps control my anxiety. I may also go back to taking my anti-depressants...because they also help with anxiety. I am for these medications as they have helped me get through some very challenging times in my life.

 

AARGH! Please don't take this bad, this is my personal little battle.

 

Antidepressants are NOT addictive. They affect the chemistry in your brain and so it is normal to have weening like effects when you stop. but they.are.not.addicitive.

 

[aeren944]

By 'out of anti-depressants' do you mean you ran out and simply stopped taking them??

 

I'm just out... waiting on a prescription refill, which I need to see my doctor for. I have an appointment for tomorrow, so I'll be back on them.

 

That's the thing, though... I don't want to have to take a pill to feel normal, you know? I feel like the antidepressants turned me cold to getting on with my healing or whatever. If I'd have experienced this 20 years ago, there would be no anti-depressants, so it makes me feel bad that I have to take a pill to work through what my parents' generation would just have to battle through naturally.

 

I'm getting back on them tomorrow, but I'm just a little scared because I don't want to be "dependent" on them.

 

I was also prescribed Xanax for panic attacks after the breakup, but I've long since stopped taking those... and have had little to no panic attacks since. Obviously, the panic attacks had something to do with the breakup, but again, I don't think it's the same with the depression.

[Maleficent]

I hate it when people say that...

 

Depression and anxiety affect a brain the same way diabetes would. Different hormone but same patterns.

 

Would you suggest to a diabetic he stops taking his insulin?

I don't think so.

 

Think how you're feeling right - this is how you would be feeling if you didn't take the AD.

Would you like that?

Me either.

 

My point is - if there are some things you need to work on, the AD will allow you to have a normal life while working on whatever you need to work on.

If you are all better - then I suggest you talk to your doctor about lowering your dose gradually until your dose is 0.

 

Mind me asking what AD you are on?

 

Edit : if it makes you feel any better - I had a breakdown last year. I ended up taking Effexor, Wellbutrin AND Trazodone.

 

I just started lowering my effexor...

[aeren944]

Funny, cuz I actually am a diabetic. And no, I wouldn't stop taking my insulin. I'm on Citalopram. They tried a few different ADs but thats the only one that really worked. How do I know if I'm all better if I'm still taking them, though?

[Maleficent]

Funny, cuz I actually am a diabetic. And no, I wouldn't stop taking my insulin. I'm on Citalopram. They tried a few different ADs but thats the only one that really worked. How do I know if I'm all better if I'm still taking them, though?

 

I'mnot familiar with Citalopram...

 

Well, there is a reason why you started taking them. Have you dealt with this reason?

 

Also, the best way to know if you are ready to get off your meds...is to get off your meds.

 

If you start lowering your dose and breakdown the minute something goes wrong, then you simply get back to your normal dose.

 

AD are meant to control symptoms. If you still need the meds, the symptoms will come back in full force. Just listen to your body.

 

You will still have bad days - you just need to learn what is a bad day - vs - depression/anxiety coming back.

Sad pigging-out-and-mope-in-front-of-the-tv-for-a-night-or-two is normal.

Sad pigging-out-and-mope-in-front-of-the-tv-for-a-week is not.

 

Either way - talk to your doctor and go with what he says.

I'm not a doctor. I haven't even finished my psych degree so...this is just my two cents

 

good luck!

[FitChick]

Some meds are more dangerous than others to quit cold turkey. Ask your doctor what you need to do. He may gradually lower your dose or say you can totally quit. Why don't you google your med on a medical website or two?

 

You will never be able to learn to cope with life like a mature adult if you pop a pill every time something in your life goes wrong. These meds were not meant to be taken indefinitely but BigPharma realized they could make a lot of money so now they are politically sanctioned drug pushers.

 

I come from a family of depressed people. My dad was an alcoholic. My sister has been in and out of mental hospitals. I was depressed to the point of suicide when I was much younger. I worked through my problems physically, spiritually and emotionally and feel so much stronger. It helped my self-esteem because I accomplished something important. I found ME. Many times I was tempted to pop that pill but went to bed and woke up the next morning feeling better. I kept postponing, "Maybe tomorrow I'll take the pill" until I just totally forgot about it. I hate being dependent on a drug unless I need it for a physical disease, like I do for thyroid.

 

I think you're on the right track. It's time, baby, it's time to take control of your life again!

[pcplod]

As someone who takes an anti-depressant, I will throw in my tuppence worth of experience/opinion. Some of this is coloured by the context in which I take them, ie in the UK under the NHS.

 

 

1. ADs aren't intended to be a 'permanent' solution, although often they become one.
   
2. One should never come off ADs without medical supervision because as someone else has said, they do radically change the brain chemistry and that cannot be trivialised. Some even believe that it creates physical changes in the brain.
   
3. One should never come off ADs without having a range of strategies in place to deal with the causes of the depression or anxiety that gave cause to you going on to them in the first place.
   
4. Alternative treatments such as therapy (eg CBT) may be difficult to access either because they are scarce or expensive to access.
   
5. ADs have significant side-effects even when you are on them, as opposed to those when trying to wean yourself off them, that can mean with coming up with your own alternative strategies is difficult.
   
6. First line medical resources, whatever that means in your locality, here in the UK it is the GP or General Practitioner, is poorly placed, equipped and skilled to help their patients either take these drugs in the first place, never mind take themselves of them. The ADs I take were prescribed by a Consultant Psychiatrist but it is pretty infeasible to expect him to be involved in any way in any substantive and meaningful process of coming off them. On that I am clearly on my own, albeit with the perfunctory support of the local GP, who for their own convenience is very 'anti' coming off them.
   
7. There is a bit of a 'chicken or egg' paradigm involved in coming off the ADs. I need to be off them to really deal with putting alternative coping strategies in place but I shouldn't come off them until those alternative strategies are in place.