Mrlonelyone Posted April 25, 2013 Share Posted April 25, 2013 If you are familiar with the tale of me and M this is the newest chapter. After all we've been through, this. I gave her a hug last week and just out an told her I liked her a whole lot. Not the "L" word just like. She was into the hug. As soon as I said I liked her in no uncertain terms she flipped and said I made her uncomfortable. She has avoided me ever since. I can't eve reach her at all. I can only think either what I said was way to concrete for her and she's done with me because of it, or that she does like me and the heaviness of it all is overwhelming. (It is one thing when you are early 20's to be liked by another early 20's. It is something else when that person is early 30's. ) Any thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 25, 2013 Share Posted April 25, 2013 Have you ever felt overwhelmed by someone being 'ahead' of you or 'getting the wrong idea' about attention you've been paying them? We're all different in how we process things like 'I really like you', 'I find you attractive', 'I love you'. Those are moments when all of our life experiences can flash before our eyes and everything becomes a confusing blur. A confused mind says 'no'. I haven't yet had this happen personally but it was explained to me in counseling. For myself, intimacy is calming and peaceful. I like it. Others can be different. Those attachment style thingies one reads about on the internet might have play. Or you just mis-read her interest. Since you present as a pretty absorbent personality who is sensitive to interactions, I doubt that, but it's possible. Anyway, for now, hold on loosely. See how it goes. If nothing, OK. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted April 25, 2013 Share Posted April 25, 2013 She might just be overwhelmed. Sometimes people will withdraw to see if you will give them the space/freedom they need to breathe. If you give it to them, it's much more likely they'll return. I'm sorry. I don't understand what her deal is. You sound awesome from previous posts. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrlonelyone Posted April 25, 2013 Author Share Posted April 25, 2013 @carhill. I hear what you are saying it may be we both just have different styles. For her as long as we do things instead of say them it's all peaches. As soon as I try to verbalize how I feel it's withdrawl. We can do things which are typical of people doing the "hangout/date" thing that is so common now. Spend time together and show how we feel through our interactions. Yet she isn't one for words of affirmation. While I used to be that way. I have been hurt so much that I need those words. @Treasa I think that is the case as well. On this trip everything between us went so very well. It felt very much like meeting one's possible future in laws rather than a simply friendly thing. That can be too much it's almost too much for me. The tighter I grasp the more she'll slip through my fingers. No pun intended. Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted April 25, 2013 Share Posted April 25, 2013 Any thoughts? I am sorry. I think it'd be good just to give her space and see if she comes to you. Relationships work best when both people seek each other. Blessings. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrlonelyone Posted April 26, 2013 Author Share Posted April 26, 2013 I am sorry. I think it'd be good just to give her space and see if she comes to you. Relationships work best when both people seek each other. Blessings. She sort of has...but she is playing a dangerous game. She's totally over the hugging incident. I now know what the issue was. It was the public nature of the show of affection. There is a reason for that. I'm gonna start another thread about it. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 Why not continue with the results in this thread so we'll have the backstory with any updates? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrlonelyone Posted April 26, 2013 Author Share Posted April 26, 2013 Because this belongs in the cheating forum. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/cheating-flirting-jealousy/389081-she-s-playing-dangerous-game#post4833006 The shorter version is I am the other man. Only lower case as she isn't married but still. It explains her shady behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 That's OK and good information. Pretty common. I've rarely met a woman who was single. I guess those posters who advised a wait and see strategy did OK. It'll work out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrlonelyone Posted April 26, 2013 Author Share Posted April 26, 2013 That's OK and good information. Pretty common. I've rarely met a woman who was single. I guess those posters who advised a wait and see strategy did OK. It'll work out. Yeah. It is like the only women ever interested in me are involved with someone else to some degree. I guess in a way I am involved with someone to a degree as well. The guy seems to be cool about it too. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 It seems so many relationships are in flux, even marriages. I've been reviewing a lot of old movies lately, back into the 40's, and am constantly surprised when seeing how many of the stars personal lives overlap, meaning relationships start while people are married, even back when divorce, and affairs, were far more frowned upon than now. For someone not interested in that path, I guess timing is everything. If the timing misses, as apparently in this case, that's usually it. It's kinda hard to put the genie back into the bottle at will. That said, I'm sure you made an impression on her and the future is unknown. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrlonelyone Posted April 26, 2013 Author Share Posted April 26, 2013 The way I look at it I met her family and that went well. Now I've met her friends and that went well. I have gained a degree of the social acceptance of her circles. Now, it is the case that were she to leave him for me she now knows it would not bring her world crashing down. I won't hold my breath. However that is a factor now. Perhaps it is a bit simple of me to have ever thought that Rlships were so simple and neat. Link to post Share on other sites
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